This Shit Only Happens to Me
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Narrated by:
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K-D.
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By:
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K-D.
About this listen
It’s all fun and games...until somebody goes to jail. Grab some herbal tea. You’ll need it.
Here are 10 wild true tales, including:
- "Short and Unsweet"
- "Kissing Cousins"
- "Tag, You It!"
- "It Was 100 Degrees That Day!"
The stories cover scenarios such as these:
- When I met my best friend, he was on trial. I was on the jury.
- One night my homegirl bailed on me. She went clubbing. I went to jail.
- The reason I escaped being arrested at work.
- Which relative I accidentally dated.
- What's with my college roommate and rubbing alcohol?
I can’t make this stuff up.
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Story
From the cow fields of Connecticut to the streets of San Francisco, Joe Clifford's Junkie Love traverses the lost highways of America, down the rocky roads of mental illness to the dead ends of addiction. Based on Clifford's own harrowing experience with drugs as a rock 'n' roll wannabe in the 1990s, the audiobook draws on the best of Kerouac and the Beats, injecting a heavy dose of pulp fiction as it threads a rollicking narrative through a doomed love triangle, lit up by the many strange characters he meets along the way.
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WOW! an inside look into an junkies mind
- By TinkerMel on 05-16-17
By: Joe Clifford
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Once a Cop
- The Street, the Law, Two Worlds, One Man
- By: Corey Pegues
- Narrated by: Corey Pegues
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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New Jack City meets Serpico in this provocative memoir of a crack dealer-turned-decorated NYPD officer - a timely reflection on the complex relationship between the police and the communities they are meant to protect.
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A POSSIBLE GOOD BOOK RUINED BY NARRATION
- By The Louligan on 05-29-16
By: Corey Pegues
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Home Before Daylight
- My Life on the Road with the Grateful Dead
- By: Steve Parish, Joe Layden - contributor, Bob Weir - foreword
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Parish was never one to walk the straight-and-narrow, even during his childhood growing up in Flushing Meadow, Queens. Busted as a teenager for selling acid in the summer of 1968, Parish landed in Riker's Island. The experience changed him, and after getting out, he did his best to stay out of trouble, securing a job moving music equipment at the New York State Pavilion. The first show he worked was a Grateful Dead concert in July of 1969, and Parish was captivated by the music. A life seemingly headed nowhere had suddenly found its calling.
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Narrator-Blaa
- By MORGAN NOTEL on 10-06-19
By: Steve Parish, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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The Pursuit of Happyness (Abridged)
- By: Chris Gardner
- Narrated by: Andre Blake
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
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At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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Trust No Man
- By: Cash
- Narrated by: Brandon Rubin
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Terrence aka Youngblood is a young and jiggy stick-up kid in ATL with strict street principles respect for the code of his game, loyalty to those who are loyal to him, and much baby mama drama. Shan, Youngblood's cocaine sniffin' baby mama, violates him when she hooks up with one of his partnaz while Youngblood is serving a bid. When Youngblood touches down, it's on and poppin. Rich kid, a flamboyant drug kingpin wants to put Youngblood on his team, but Youngblood prefers to get his the fast way the ski mask way.
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Good Read with different twist!
- By Coco Smiles on 04-09-15
By: Cash
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All Souls
- A Family Story from Southie
- By: Michael Patrick MacDonald
- Narrated by: Michael Patrick MacDonald
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The anti-busing riots of 1974 forever changed Southie, Boston's working-class Irish community, branding it as a violent, racist enclave. Michael Patrick MacDonald grew up in Southie's Old Colony housing project. He describes the way this world within a world felt to the troubled yet keenly gifted observer he was even as a child. But the threats - poverty, drugs, a shadowy gangster world - were real. All Souls is heartbreaking testimony to lives lost too early, and the story of how a place so filled with pain could still be "the best place in the world".
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this book broke me in the best way
- By anon on 02-14-23
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Basketball Junkie
- A Memoir
- By: Chris Herren, Bill Reynolds
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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At basketball-crazy Durfee High School in Fall River, Massachusetts, junior guard Chris Herren carried his family’s and the city’s dreams on his skinny frame. His grandfather, father, and older brother had created their own sports legends in a declining city; he was the last, best hope for a career beyond the shuttered mills and factories. Herren was heavily recruited by major universities, chosen as a McDonald’s All-American, featured in a Sports Illustrated cover story, and at just seventeen years old became the central figure in Fall River Dreams, an acclaimed book about the 1994 Durfee team’s quest for the state championship.
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most powerful recovery story I've ever heard
- By Brian Swasey on 03-23-22
By: Chris Herren, and others