Episodes

  • 23 EP

    23 EP
    Apr 28 2024
    The closing of a lucky number, years full of memories and moments you won't forget. This was a period in your life you won't forget. You are thankful for this time, but the number twenty-three will never be the same to you. You will never look at this number the same. After losing six people, almost dying three times, and battling your health. You realized why this number become so important to you and now it's time to close this chapter.

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    14 mins
  • ALL TOGETHER NOW

    ALL TOGETHER NOW
    Apr 25 2024
    The people who are arrogant and claim to be a Christian, they act so innocent and nice on the outside, but once they find someone they can target their true colors and start to show. Of course each person who knows the person who is arrogant would stick together with them, and say you are crazy or you didn’t see anything. Until everyone around them realized they were harassing you and bullying you since day one. Did you think I would forget what happened all the way in elementary school? When all the teachers took the bullies' side and told me I was crazy? Then when they get into trouble, they apologize but it’s too late for lame apology just save it for yourself. I don’t care to hear it, you won’t fool me again. Then when you see these people later on in life and they try to come up to you, you are still nice but you haven’t forgotten how they treated you. While they play it like nothing ever happened, of course to make yourself feel better. How does it feel to be in position? It doesn’t feel well does it? I didn’t think so…. All together now is knowing in the moment you may feel alone, but later on all of it will come together for your greater good.

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    1 min
  • LOST IN THE CROWD (NO FEELINGS OF REGRET)

    LOST IN THE CROWD (NO FEELINGS OF REGRET)
    Apr 25 2024
    Throughout my whole life I felt lost in the crowd, I felt misunderstood and missed place. Teachers and people my age were an enemy to me, I trusted no one because either I was told I was stupid, I wouldn’t make it, I was a trouble maker or they tried to fail me. Most of all my teachers thought I was like my sister because she was a troublemaker, why would any teacher make that assumption in the first place? You shouldn’t be a teacher if that’s how you think. Any friend I made was jealous or backstabbed me . Why do you think I chose to do everything on my own and not ask for help? I realized I would never fit in the crowd, I would stand out and I would always be alone and I was okay with that. Having my small group of friends was the only thing I needed, to be happy and at peace with myself.

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    7 mins
  • LOST IN THE CROWD

    LOST IN THE CROWD
    Apr 25 2024
    Throughout my whole life I felt lost in the crowd, I felt misunderstood and missed place. Teachers and people my age were an enemy to me, I trusted no one because either I was told I was stupid, I wouldn’t make it, I was a trouble maker or they tried to fail me. Most of all my teachers thought I was like my sister because she was a troublemaker, why would any teacher make that assumption in the first place? You shouldn’t be a teacher if that’s how you think. Any friend I made was jealous or backstabbed me . Why do you think I chose to do everything on my own and not ask for help? I realized I would never fit in the crowd, I would stand out and I would always be alone and I was okay with that. Having my small group of friends was the only thing I needed, to be happy and at peace with myself.

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    1 min
  • TIDES TO CHANGE

    TIDES TO CHANGE
    Apr 25 2024
    Talking about elementary school, there was this boy who liked me and wanted to date me. I never once liked him and I didn’t care about boys or dating, plus I was too young. He kept messing with me and I said I didn’t like it, I told him to stop but he didn’t. Somehow I was a bad guy for standing up for myself and being called the bully. I was just sexually abused by someone I wasn’t related to, and all the teachers and my mom took his side? All I wanted was to be left alone, I didn’t want to be around no one, but of course no one would hear me out. Then a counselor I had in middle school tried to get me expelled because someone lied to her. She retired because she wanted to go out on good terms. I did apologize to the guy who had a crush on me back in elementary school. It wasn’t for him, but for me to forgive myself for the hell I went through. I had the right to stand up for myself in these two situations and still I was considered the bully, the person harassing another person and being called a liar. Tell me how any of this makes sense? Both of these situations could have been handled differently, but were they, no and of course here comes the lame apology aftwards. I don’t even care anymore but try to be nice to me, because you are only doing it to make yourself look better. Tides to change was knowing that God would work this in favor. I wasn’t innocent, but I also didn’t deserve any of this. Why do you think I only have one friend that I have been friends with since middle school, because I couldn’t trust no one else.

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    2 mins
  • PERFECT WEATHER

    PERFECT WEATHER
    Apr 25 2024
    Growing up I attended the church called Gateway Community Church, I loved it and it holds a special place in my heart. Our senior pastor passed away and it hasn’t been the same. I have gone to Compassion Christian several times and I loved it, I found my next church to be home. What I have noticed lately isn't the first time this happened to me, but when you are in a group. They ask you to introduce your hobby and your name and you are about to speak and someone cuts you off. You don’t get an apology, you just get called out several times in front of the whole group, so you decide to go quiet and pretend like you don’t exist, since that’s how everyone wanted it to be. It gives you the feeling of do you even belong here, did you make the right choice, but you realized this can be anywhere. The first time and second the individuals apologized but third time you were ignored and called out to be embarrassed, but you realized that God let this happen for a reason. Everything happens for a reason.

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    1 min
  • COCONUT PERFUME

    COCONUT PERFUME
    Apr 25 2024
    The coconut perfume that follows me wherever I go, is how many will remember me. I don’t play foolish games and I am not an idiot. I will be nice to a certain point. You can keep playing your foolish games, acting like a kid and have tantrums like a child because the situation didn’t go your way. You never once grew up, you stayed in the age of being a child. The coconut perfume you put on will be the one thing people will remember when it comes to you. They will remember the scent even though it faded, like they can remember the hell they put you through. They only chose to remember certain things to make themselves feel better. They could never do that, they could never do wrong. They are too innocent like the person on the outside would say, just keep your mouth shut because you don’t know anything.

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    1 min
  • EVERYTHING I DREAMED

    EVERYTHING I DREAMED
    Apr 25 2024
    Everything I dreamed of was making a positive impact, I have been through enough to help others. I will always remember the ones who hurt me with good memories. I will never forget what they did, but I will forgive them because I am forgiving myself. I chose to do everything on my own because I love the process and I don’t trust anyone to help me without using me to make a name for themselves. I worked hard to get where I am today, and I always do give credit where it's due, and I am thankful for everyone who has supported me throughout the years. I will always do everything on my own because everything I have done was my own ideas and work and I don’t want no one taking advantage of my hard work I have put in throughout the years.

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    1 min