Episodes

  • The Jones Brothers Meet a Tiger
    Nov 21 2024

    If Alan Jones, the Australian media personality known for his conservative views and often controversial commentary, met Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist and founder of Infowars, over a 75-cent beer, it would likely be an intense and entertaining interaction.

    Here’s how such a meeting might unfold:

    1. Shared Conservative Views: Both Alan and Alex share right-wing ideologies, though they often express them in different ways. Alan is known for his provocative political commentary and influence in Australian media, while Alex is known for promoting conspiracy theories, such as those around 9/11, vaccines, and government control. They’d probably find common ground on issues related to government control, censorship, and free speech.

    2. Conflict of Personalities: Despite some ideological overlap, their personal styles are different. Alan is more traditional in his approach and less flamboyant, while Alex's theatrics and tendency to embrace outlandish ideas could lead to some friction. Alan may view Alex’s extreme positions as over-the-top, while Alex might think Alan is too moderate or constrained.

    3. The 75-Cent Beer: Over a beer priced so cheaply, the conversation could become colorful. A 75-cent beer is not likely to be a premium beverage, and both men might mock the low price as emblematic of the "decline of society" or something to that effect. Alternatively, the beer might serve as a metaphor for the cheapening of media and political discourse in their respective countries.

    4. The Conversation: They could get into debates over globalism, media manipulation, or political correctness. Alan Jones might bring in his criticisms of Australia's political leadership, while Alex Jones could dive into broader, international conspiracy theories. While the beer might loosen their tongues, it could also amplify their combative tendencies, leading to a shouting match about the media or government control.

    In the end, while they might bond over their shared distrust of mainstream media, the outcome of this hypothetical encounter would likely be a mix of camaraderie, conflict, and a lot of grandstanding, perhaps with a dose of humor about the cheap beer they’re sharing.

    If Alan Jones, the Australian media personality known for his conservative views and often controversial commentary, met Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist and founder of Infowars, over a 75-cent beer, it would likely be an intense and entertaining interaction.

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    2 hrs and 9 mins
  • Sammy Da Bulls
    Nov 7 2024

    If Sammy "The Bull" Gravano played for the Chicago Bulls, it would definitely make for an interesting and unlikely scenario. Instead of basketball plays, you could imagine Gravano pulling off "plays" in a much different way—using his street smarts and strategic thinking, honed from his time as a notorious mobster, to outwit opponents.


    On the court, Gravano's toughness and ability to stay calm under pressure might translate into a gritty, no-nonsense style of play. He might not have the leaping ability of Michael Jordan or the finesse of Scottie Pippen, but he could probably be relied on as a gritty defender or a mastermind behind setting up others—using his "mob" mentality for team cohesion, always looking to control the game behind the scenes.


    Off the court, his presence could change the team dynamics entirely. With his notorious history, he might bring an intimidating aura that could either galvanize the team or create a culture of fear and secrecy. And of course, his connections to some of the most powerful figures in the city might make for some very interesting off-the-court drama.


    In a way, the Chicago Bulls could have used his underworld connections to strike deals or garner additional support in ways that went beyond the basketball court, but that might also lead to plenty of trouble, both legally and morally, for the organization. In the end, Sammy might be a legendary figure, but definitely one who would have brought a ton of drama and controversy to the world of professional basketball!


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    1 hr and 47 mins
  • 420 North by Midwest
    Oct 31 2024

    The perfect weather day in the Midwest features clear blue skies and a gentle breeze, with temperatures around the mid-70s°F. Friends gather for a picnic in a spacious field, enjoying cold beers while lounging on blankets. Nearby, a couple of friendly llamas roam, adding a quirky charm to the scene. Their soft wool and curious nature invite laughter as everyone takes turns feeding them treats. The low humidity keeps the air crisp and refreshing, making it an ideal day for leisurely conversations and playful interactions with the llamas, all set against the backdrop of vibrant fall foliage or lush greenery.


    As the sun begins to set, someone pulls out a bottle of Malört, sparking a round of laughter and friendly competition. Everyone takes a shot, grimacing playfully at the bitter bite, followed by cheers and stories about their first encounters with the infamous spirit. The camaraderie grows as the group toasts to the perfect day, the combination of laughter, llamas, and a touch of Malört creating unforgettable memories under the fading golden light.


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    2 hrs
  • Live from Las Vegas, it's Wednesday Night
    Oct 10 2024

    Griff & Tony and a special guest discuss the goings on in Las Vegas over a delicious drink.

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    26 mins
  • Shoe’d In
    Sep 26 2024

    In Shoe’d In, two quirky best friends, Tony and Griff, hit Vegas with dreams of striking it rich at the blackjack tables. Tony is a hopeless romantic who’s always been unlucky in love, while Griff is a thrill-seeking gambler with a penchant for wild ideas. Their trip takes an unexpected turn when they encounter an ancient, sentient blackjack shoe named Ace at a run-down casino on the outskirts of town. Ace is no ordinary casino artifact—he’s a wisecracking, smooth-talking shoe with the ability to predict card outcomes, but with one goal in mind: helping Tony find his soulmate.

    Ace immediately takes a liking to the duo, recognizing Tony’s romantic woes and Griff’s reckless ways. He devises a plan to guide Tony toward Cassandra, a blackjack dealer at the casino who’s equally disillusioned with Vegas and its fleeting nature. As Tony fumbles his way through awkward interactions with Cassandra, Ace coaches him on what to say and how to play it cool, much to Griff’s amusement. The three form an unlikely team, bonding over their shared goals of love, luck, and winning big.

    Cassandra, unaware of Ace’s sentience, starts to notice Tony’s increasing charm and their mutual love for the game. As she deals hand after hand, she begins to see that there’s more to him than just another tourist looking for a quick win. Meanwhile, Griff embarks on his own quest for riches with Ace’s guidance, but his hot streak quickly turns into a series of chaotic, comedic misadventures across the Strip, highlighting the madness of Vegas life.

    Tension arises when a rival gambler discovers Ace’s powers and tries to steal the shoe for his own gains. Tony, Griff, and Cassandra must band together to protect their new friend and keep him out of the wrong hands. Through a mix of hilarious hijinks and heartfelt moments, Tony grows closer to Cassandra, realizing that sometimes love, like blackjack, is about more than just the cards you’re dealt.

    In the end, Shoe’d In is a charming and offbeat buddy comedy about friendship, love, and the unpredictability of Vegas. With the help of their magical, sentient sidekick, Tony finally wins more than just money—he wins Cassandra’s heart, proving that fate, and sometimes a little bit of magic, plays a hand in everyone’s luck.

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    1 hr and 53 mins
  • Ope let me just cringe right past ya!
    Sep 19 2024

    In Midwestern parlance, "ope" is a common interjection used when someone makes a small mistake or is about to inconvenience someone. It’s often said instinctively, like when you bump into someone, drop something, or accidentally get in someone’s way. It’s a way of saying "oops" or expressing mild surprise or apology without much thought. For example, "Ope! Let me squeeze right past you!"

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    1 hr and 48 mins
  • The Fascist Bari Sax
    Sep 12 2024

    A marching band baritone saxophone (bari sax) player typically has a distinct and memorable look due to the size of the instrument and the energy they bring. Here’s a description of their appearance:


    1. **Instrument size**: The bari sax is one of the largest and heaviest instruments in the marching band, so the player is often seen with the sax draped over their shoulder with a neck strap or harness for support. The instrument itself is large, with a curved neck and wide bell, making it a prominent visual element.


    2. **Posture**: Due to the weight and size of the bari sax, the player’s posture is generally more grounded. They stand with a wide stance to maintain balance and stability while marching. Their upper body leans slightly to one side to accommodate the instrument’s weight.


    3. **Marching uniform**: Like the rest of the marching band, the bari sax player wears a traditional uniform, often consisting of a high-collared jacket, fitted pants, tall shako hat (with a plume), and gloves. These uniforms tend to be elaborate, often featuring the school or band colors and insignia.


    4. **Attitude and vibe**: Bari sax players are known for being cool and confident, often having a laid-back but charismatic presence in the band. Because they play such a deep, powerful instrument, they tend to exude a subtle confidence, and you might see them casually nodding their heads or swaying slightly with the beat when they're not marching.


    5. **Mouthpiece and embouchure**: While playing, their embouchure is focused but relaxed to manage the deep, rich tones of the instrument. Since the mouthpiece of the bari sax is larger than that of other saxophones, it gives the player a slightly different facial posture — their lips and cheeks need to accommodate more space while maintaining control of their airflow.


    6. **Movement and coordination**: Due to the size of the bari sax, the player has to be extra coordinated while marching. Their movements are smooth and calculated, with exaggerated leg strides to match the precision of the rest of the band while keeping the instrument in control.


    Overall, a marching band bari sax player cuts an impressive figure, blending strength, coordination, and a cool, confident demeanor that matches the deep, resonant sound they produce.


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    2 hrs and 2 mins
  • Oven Firmware Update Failed, Dinner Error 345
    Sep 5 2024

    To make a million dollars brewing beer for "idiots" (or perhaps inexperienced beer drinkers), you'll want to focus on creating an approachable product, memorable branding, and an efficient business model. Here's a step-by-step guide to consider:


    ### 1. **Develop a Unique, Easy-Drinking Beer**

    - **Target Audience**: Cater to people who aren’t beer connoisseurs—those who want something simple, fun, and easy to drink.

    - **Flavor Profile**: Brew a beer that’s light, smooth, and low in bitterness—think craft lagers, light ales, or fruit-infused beers.

    - **Trendy Twists**: You can also add fun or unusual flavors (e.g., vanilla, citrus, or tropical fruit) to appeal to novice drinkers and stand out in a crowded market.


    ### 2. **Fun, Unconventional Branding**

    - **Memorable Labeling**: Use humorous, quirky, or even satirical branding that speaks to people who might be intimidated by "serious" craft beers. Think of labels with funny or relatable names, simple designs, or bold, irreverent artwork.

    - **Slogans and Marketing**: Create a tagline that embraces simplicity or even plays on the idea of being for “non-experts.” For example, “Beer for people who don’t overthink beer.”

    ### 3. **Tap into Social Media and Influencers**

    - **Viral Campaigns**: Use social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube to build a community. Encourage people to share pictures and experiences with your beer.

    - **Collaborations**: Partner with influencers or brands that appeal to your target audience—comedy influencers, gaming communities, or music festivals—to help market your beer as the go-to for relaxed, casual drinking.


    ### 4. **Create a Simple, Scalable Business Model**

    - **Start Small**: Begin by brewing small batches to test your product. Use local breweries or "gypsy" brewing setups where you don’t have to own your own brewing equipment.

    - **Sell Direct-to-Consumer**: Leverage e-commerce and subscription services to sell your beer directly online. Offering beer in unique packages, like a “fun-tasting” six-pack, can increase initial interest.

    - **Local Bars and Events**: Get your beer into local bars, but also push it at non-traditional beer venues like sports events, college campuses, or even comedy clubs where people are more likely to embrace a casual, fun drinking experience.


    ### 5. **Expand Once Successful**

    - **Franchise or Distribution**: Once your brand has a strong local following, scale up by expanding distribution to larger retail chains, or consider licensing or franchising your brand to other brewers.

    - **Merchandise and Experience**: Create merchandise or beer-related experiences (like brewery tours, tasting events, or pop-up events) that emphasize the fun and laid-back approach of your brand. You can increase brand loyalty while generating additional revenue streams.


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    1 hr and 35 mins