A Pair of Nuts on the Throne
Dragon and Chips, Book 3
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Narrated by:
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Graeme Hague
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By:
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Simon Haynes
About this listen
Ahh, the Old Kingdom.
Come and pet our angry, fire-breathing dragons. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our lovely warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves.
For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday.**
Survival is optional, and highly unlikely.
*Similarity to actual beer not guaranteed.
**Travel insurance not available.
***This is what three asterisks look like when you put them in a row.
A Pair of Nuts on the Throne is book three in the Robot vs. Dragons trilogy. To maximize your enjoyment, this description is completely devoid of spoilers, or indeed, useful information of any kind.****
****Trust me, if you've read the first two books you know what you're getting, and if you haven't you're on the wrong product page.
©2018 Simon Haynes (P)2019 Simon HaynesListeners also enjoyed...
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Job Opening: New Narrator Needed
- By Rob G. on 02-17-13
By: Raymond E. Feist
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The Henchmen Chronicles Collection, Books 1-5
- By: Craig Halloran
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 39 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Contains the complete Henchmen Chronicles series.
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for a credit, why not
- By Daniel on 06-24-23
By: Craig Halloran
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The First Book of Swords
- By: Fred Saberhagen
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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For a game, the gods have given the world 12 Swords of Power so that they might be amused as the nations battle for their possession. But Vulcan the Smith has had his own little joke: the Swords can kill the gods themselves. What started out as Divine Jest has become all too serious as the gods fight to recover the Swords, and mortals discover that the mantle of power is more delicious and more terrible than anything they could have imagined.
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One Of My Very Highest Recommendations!
- By Michael on 02-25-13
By: Fred Saberhagen
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Rogues of Magic: The Complete Trilogy
- Rogues of Magic, Books 1-3
- By: J.T. Williams
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 29 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Sviska is a man of the shadows, an assassin without any one place to call his own. But in the Far North, he discovers a secret. Magic, long thought lost to the world, is alive. The genocide to destroy every elf, wizard, and sacred being of old is not yet complete. Sviska's masters work the strings of the world and he has been sent for a task he does not even fully understand yet. When at last he feels he has what he has always wanted, darkness falls upon the world.
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Great Series: In depth backstory
- By Kdg on 05-01-20
By: J.T. Williams
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The Congruent Apprentice
- The Congruent Mage, Book 1
- By: Dave Schroeder
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Young wizards coming of age in a time of war... Will they be ready? Eynon was excited to leave his village and set off on his wander year. He’d turned sixteen today, and hoped for at least a few adventures. At high noon, he arrived a crossroads and saw a shimmer of silver in the mud. It was a thin and dirty oval, about the size of his palm. He washed it with squirts of water from his goatskin, then marveled at what was revealed.
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cliff hangers
- By Amazon Customer on 03-19-18
By: Dave Schroeder
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The Frozen Flame: Publisher's Pack
- The Frozen Flame, Books 1-2
- By: Paul J. Bennett
- Narrated by: Tim Bruce
- Length: 24 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Magic is the key...but will it save them, or consume them? For Natalia, there is no choice. Trained as a battle mage, she has the potential to be the most powerful spellcaster the family has ever produced. Yet their price is too high. Meanwhile, Athgar's life is about to change forever. On the day his village is burned to the ground, his magical potential is released by the very fire that nearly consumed him. He is driven by revenge until he learns he may not be the only survivor.
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this book a a recurring issue thats very annoying
- By LitRPG Reader on 05-27-22
By: Paul J. Bennett
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Crimes Against Magic
- The Hellequin Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Steve McHugh
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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How do you keep the people you care about safe from enemies you can’t remember? Ten years ago, Nate Garrett awoke on a cold warehouse floor with no memory of his past and the only clues to his identity were a piece of paper with his name on it and a propensity toward magic. Now he’s a powerful sorcerer and a successful thief for hire, but it turns out that those who stole his memories aren’t done with him yet. When they cause a job to go bad, threatening a sixteen-year-old girl, Nate swears to protect her.
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Testosterone IV Drip
- By V on 08-06-14
By: Steve McHugh
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The Hammer and the Cross
- By: Harry Harrison
- Narrated by: Julian Elfer
- Length: 16 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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865 A.D. Warring kings rule over the British Isles, but the Church rules over the kings, threatening all who oppose them with damnation. Only the dreaded Vikings of Scandinavia do not fear the priests. Shef, the bastard son of a Norse raider and a captive English lady, is torn by divided loyalties and driven by strange visions that seem to come from Odin himself. A smith and warrior, he alone dares to imagine new weapons and tactics with which to carve out a kingdom.
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Couldn't finish it
- By Susan on 07-22-16
By: Harry Harrison
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Prodigy of Thunder
- Chronicles of Anna Atticus Stone, Book 1
- By: Sever Bronny
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 24 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The youngest warlock to ever wield lightning, 14-year-old Anna Atticus Stone dreams of attending the prestigious Academy of Arcane Arts. Except her life is a mess. She's friendless, her older sister keeps knocking her teeth out, and her parents constantly argue.
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On the fence
- By Tracey M. Bare on 03-05-22
By: Sever Bronny
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Fate of the Fallen
- By: Kel Kade
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone loves Mathias. Naturally, when he discovers it’s his destiny to save the world, he dives in headfirst, pulling his best friend, Aaslo, along for the ride. However, saving the world isn’t as easy, or exciting, as it sounds in the stories. The going gets rough, and folks start to believe their best chance for survival is to surrender to the forces of evil, which isn’t how the prophecy goes. At all. As the list of allies grows thin and the friends find themselves staring death in the face, they must decide how to become the heroes they were destined to be.
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Interesting but no KDT
- By Jonathan on 03-11-20
By: Kel Kade
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The Last Swordsman
- The Last Swordsman, Book 1
- By: Benjamin Corman
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Nikolis’ parents are dead - murdered before his eyes. What’s worse, they were traitors to the crown. At least that’s what he hears the village folk saying moments before he is whisked away to the castle of Highkeep. There he finds himself before the aged King Alginor, a man brought to a boil by his very presence.
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This book is horrible
- By Amazon Customer on 09-10-20
By: Benjamin Corman
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The Dagger of Trust
- By: Chris Willrich
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Gideon Gull leads a double life: one as a talented young bard at the Rhapsodic College, the other as a student of the Shadow School, where Taldor's infamous lion blades are trained to be master spies and assassins. When a magical fog starts turning ordinary people into murderous mobs along the border between Taldor and Gideon's home nation of Andoran, it's up to him and a crew of daring performers to solve the mystery before both nations fall to madness and slaughter.
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Bard Team 6
- By Kojo on 06-12-24
By: Chris Willrich
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Crispin, at the Edge of the World
- By: Avi
- Narrated by: Ron Keith
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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The young orphan Crispin and his gentle, red-bearded protector Bear continue their adventures in 14th-century England. Crispin and Bear are finally free to live their lives as they choose. But they soon find that they are being hunted by members of a secret society who believe Bear is a spy. When Bear is severely wounded, Crispin must make some tough decisions, such as deciding who else to trust to help them escape their pursuers. The two make a perilous journey to Brittany - surely the edge of the world!
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Good but Depressing
- By Carl on 09-08-09
By: Avi