And Then We Grew Up
On Creativity, Potential, and the Imperfect Art of Adulthood
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Narrated by:
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Jennifer Rubins
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Rachel Friedman
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By:
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Rachel Friedman
About this listen
One of Publishers Weekly’s Best Books of 2019
A journey through the many ways to live an artistic life - from the flashy and famous to the quiet and steady - full of unexpected insights about creativity and contentment, from the author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Getting Lost.
Rachel Friedman was a serious violist as a kid. She quit music in college but never stopped fantasizing about what her life might be like if she had never put down her bow. Years later, a freelance writer in New York, she again finds herself struggling with her fantasy of an artist’s life versus its much more complicated reality. In search of answers, she decides to track down her childhood friends from Interlochen, a prestigious arts camp she attended, full of aspiring actors, artists, dancers, and musicians, to find out how their early creative ambitions have translated into adult careers, relationships, and identities.
Rachel’s conversations with these men and women spark nuanced revelations about creativity and being an artist: that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing, that success isn’t always linear, that sometimes it’s okay to quit. And Then We Grew Up is for anyone who has given up a childhood dream and wondered, "What if?", for those who have aspired to do what they love and had doubts along the way, and for all whose careers fall somewhere between emerging and established. Warm, whip-smart, and insightful, it offers inspiration for finding creative fulfillment wherever we end up in life.
©2019 Rachel Friedman (P)2019 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“As kids, we’re told to follow our passions. But that vague advice often doesn’t align with the economic realities of getting by in the so-called adult world. How can a person still live an artistic life, even if it doesn’t quite align with childhood expectations? Once a serious violinist, Rachel Friedman...interviews her cohort of campers at Interlochen Arts Camp to see how their own dreams unfolded, and what they’ve done with their creative ambition. A must-read for anyone who has, well, grown up.” (Refinery29)
“Do you make resolutions for New Year’s Eve? Before you do, go out and grab Rachel Friedman’s new book, And Then We Grew Up.... I recommend both of her books [And Then We Grew Up and The Good Girl’s Guide to Getting Lost]...as you begin a new decade!” (Ms. Magazine)
"Insightful...ably illustrates many forms creativity can take.... Anyone who’s ever looked back longingly at an old passion and wondered what might have been will find an empathetic friend in Friedman." (Publishers Weekly, starred review)
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When Hugh MacLeod was a struggling young copywriter living in a YMCA, he started to doodle on the backs of business cards while sitting at a bar. Those cartoons eventually led to a popular blog - gapingvoid.com - and a reputation for pithy insight and humor, in both words and pictures. MacLeod has opinions on everything from marketing to the meaning of life, but one of his main subjects is creativity. How do new ideas emerge in a cynical, risk-averse world?
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Ignore this book !
- By Tim on 08-03-09
By: Hugh MacLeod
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Failing Up
- How to Take Risks, Aim Higher, and Never Stop Learning
- By: Leslie Odom Jr.
- Narrated by: Leslie Odom Jr.
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Leslie Odom Jr. burst on the scene in 2015, originating the role of Aaron Burr in the Broadway musical phenomenon Hamilton. Since then he has performed for sold-out audiences, sung for the Obamas at the White House, and won a Tony Award for Best Leading Actor in a Musical. But before he landed the role of a lifetime in one of the biggest musicals of all time, Odom put in years of hard work as a singer and an actor.
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When you take one step, the universe takes two
- By Amy Aguilar on 04-11-18
By: Leslie Odom Jr.
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Disrupt-Her
- A Manifesto for the Modern Woman
- By: Miki Agrawal
- Narrated by: Miki Agrawal
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In order to navigate the complicated - at times maddening - struggles of contemporary femininity, we need an unabashed manifesto for the modern woman that inspires us to move past outrage and take positive steps on the personal, professional, and societal levels. This manifesto galvanizes us to action in 13 major areas of our lives with as much firepower as possible. These are the credos we live by, the advice we give to friends, the tenets we instill in our companies and peers on a daily basis.
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Privileged woman signaling wokeness
- By Anonymous User on 04-29-19
By: Miki Agrawal
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Big Magic
- Creative Living Beyond Fear
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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People of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Now this beloved author digs deep into her own generative process to share her wisdom and unique perspective about creativity. With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear.
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Biggest Inspiration In a Long Time
- By Gillian on 09-23-15
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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The Big Life
- Embrace the Mess, Work Your Side Hustle, Find a Monumental Relationship, and Become the Badass Babe You Were Meant to Be
- By: Ann Shoket
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Ann Shoket
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The Big Life is packed with actionable guidance combined with personal advice from high-profile millennial women who have already achieved tremendous success, plus intimate conversations with a cast of compelling characters and Shoket's own stories on her quest for The Big Life. You'll learn to tackle all of the issues on heavy rotation in your mind.
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Just OK
- By Alexandra Medina on 05-15-17
By: Ann Shoket
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Walking in This World
- The Practical Art of Creativity
- By: Julia Cameron
- Narrated by: Barbara Caruso
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Walking in This World picks up where Julia Cameron's best-selling book on the creative process, The Artist's Way, left off to present readers with a second course, part two in an amazing journey toward discovering our human potential. Full of valuable new strategies and techniques for breaking through difficult creative ground, this is the "intermediate level" of the Artist's Way program.
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I wish there was a zero star rating
- By Jason on 04-24-07
By: Julia Cameron
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Hear's the Thing
- Lessons on Listening, Life, and Love
- By: Cody Alan
- Narrated by: Cody Alan, Keith Urban
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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For Cody Alan, one of country music’s most famous on-air radio and TV personalities, listening to other people has always been a crucial part of his role. It was by fostering his ability to hear others that he discovered the person he most needed to listen to was himself. Listening ultimately led him on a journey of self-discovery where he found the courage to come out as gay, the openness to question spiritually, and the strength to explore a new definition of parenting and family.
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An Honest Conversation
- By Anonymous User on 12-22-21
By: Cody Alan
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Art & Soul, Reloaded
- By: Pam Grout
- Narrated by: Pam Grout
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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With her trademark humor, enthusiasm, and no-nonsense guidance, Pam Grout, the number-one New York Times best-selling author of E-Squared, invites you on a yearlong "apprenticeship" to recognize and unleash your innate creativity. Making art does not necessarily mean painting a gallery-worthy still life or belting out a Grammy-winning song. It simply means finding a way to give your inner muse a voice in this world.
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A firestarter!
- By ATC on 11-03-17
By: Pam Grout
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Unmistakable
- Why Only Is Better Than Best
- By: Srinivas Rao
- Narrated by: Srinivas Rao
- Length: 3 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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After getting rejected from many business schools and fired from several sales jobs, Srinivas Rao decided to stop doing what he thought he was supposed to do and start working in a way that felt honest. He launched the Unmistakable Creative Podcast to interview some of the greatest minds in business - including Seth Godin, Simon Sinek, Pam Slim, Elle Luna, and Ryan Holiday - and found a surprisingly big audience. This book distills the lessons, anecdotes, and insights of the 500+ people he has interviewed.
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Being Unique is a Necessity
- By The Treadmill Doctor on 08-03-16
By: Srinivas Rao
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Lucky Bitch
- A Guide for Exceptional Women to Create Outrageous Success
- By: Denise Duffield-Thomas
- Narrated by: Denise Duffield-Thomas
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Can you learn to be lucky? Self-made millionaire Denise Duffield-Thomas not only believes this is possible, she knows it's possible. From being broke, hating her office job and generally having a life that made her completely miserable, Denise went on to travel the world and make all of her dreams come true within the space of a few years, including attracting more than half a million dollars' worth of free travel, scholarships, prizes, and bank errors in her favour. And in this book, she shows how you can do the same.
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Great Info, Poor Performance
- By Kris McPeak on 04-23-18
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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Winging It: Stop Thinking, Start Doing
- Why Action Beats Planning Every Time
- By: Emma Isaacs
- Narrated by: Emma Isaacs
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Women are notorious over-preparers and underestimators when it comes to their own readiness to try something new. But as Emma teaches, what most often holds us back are our own fears, excuses, and doubts. With her revolutionary manifesto, Winging It, Emma shares a rallying cry for all women to “do the things that scare you, build your wealth, make an impact, fail lots, and get up and try again”.
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Good advice
- By Amanda Schmidt on 05-28-21
By: Emma Isaacs
What listeners say about And Then We Grew Up
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-06-20
Loved it!
It resonated with how I feel about my life journey! So many nuggets of wisdom.
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- Mini Driver
- 03-01-20
Poor choice of narrator
The book was interesting enough that I listened all the way through despite the monotonous, relentless perkiness of the narrator. Her perkiness was appropriate neither to the overall subject of the book nor to individual passages. I recommend reading this one rather than listening to it. The book is well worth reading for young people considering pursuing the life of an artist or older people wondering why they didn't.
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- Zag Nut
- 01-01-23
Very relatable stories and narrator
This was a really easy and healing read. Narrator’s voice is soothing and easy to empathize with as well as funny. Whether or not you have been in the arts, we can all relate to experiencing what the writer has been through.
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- Erin McClanahan
- 07-05-23
Read me
This is an absolutely fantastic book. This is not a how to book. This is not telling you how to get your groove back, it’s not telling you how to fail forward, it’s not telling you that you’re just missing your potential and if you worked just a little bit harder, you’ll make it. What this book does do is deal with reality And it helps you to deal with reality along the way and if you are tired, like I am tired of everyone telling you that you need to be perfect all the time. Then this is the book you want to read.
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- goombye
- 06-07-20
Toxic, privileged ideas about creativity
I bought this book to listen to on a cross-country trip to a university where I am to begin a tenure-track job in the arts. I was hoping for an honest, open-hearted discussion of the challenges and sacrifices one makes to pursue a creative career, something to put the past two decades or so of my life into a greater perspective. That said, it was not what I expected, and I actually couldn't finish the book.
The author was at her best when she was oriented outward, actually talking to her former campmates about their life experiences and creative struggles. However, it seemed for every minute of that, we were treated to five minutes of the author projecting her own insecurities, trying to psychoanalyze her former friends, and pontificating generally. (Though I did like her deconstruction of the "10,000 hour rule" and other myths.) She has an almost pathological preoccupation with "greatness" and "potential", taken to toxic extremes--that I find personally antithetical to a creative practice. (Incidentally, these are the exact kind of attitudes that were omnipresent, used as almost a currency in art school, and now I try to gently disabuse in my students who are more serious about pursuing the arts).
While the author did a good job acknowledging it, I couldn't get over just how privileged she and her peers were/are to have had the opportunities to attend Interlochen. I can't really fault her for this, since she does acknowledge it right in the introduction. I guess I was just hoping for a more nuanced discussion of the creative life, with different perspectives beyond this rarefied group. We do hear about the scholarship kids at Interlochen, but only as reminders of just how lucky the author is. Again, can't fault her, as her stated project was to dig up former Interlochen kids and see where they were now. (Where did the scholarship kids end up? As of halfway through, when I stopped listening, they were not a large part of the book).
It's altogether possible that if I stuck with the book, she would have been able to interrogate her own toxic assumptions and privilege as well as acknowledge other paths into fulfilling creative lives, but I couldn't make it past the chapter "On Failure," It was the perpetuation of so many more toxic ideas about creativity and life generally. I didn't think there was any real wisdom in the book for a person like me.
The narration was fine, though I found her overemphasizing many words in a single sentence in an at-times unnatural, overly performative way. There was a male character whose impression I found hard to listen to, it was like my sister doing an impression of her husband when she's mad at him or making a joke.
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1 person found this helpful