
Avevo un fuoco dentro
Storia di un dolore che non si può dire
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Narrated by:
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Alice Torriani
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By:
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Tea Ranno
About this listen
Questo memoir, scritto nella lingua ispirata e inconfondibile di Tea Ranno, si apre con un risveglio in ospedale: Tea ha quarantacinque anni ed è appena stata operata d'urgenza per un'infezione che, partita dall'utero, è arrivata a infuocarle l'intestino, il fegato, i polmoni. Soffre di endometriosi da quando è giovanissima. Ma questa volta ne è quasi morta.
L'endometriosi è una malattia cronica che colpisce molte donne. Le cause non sono ancora del tutto chiare, la diagnosi spesso è complessa e non esiste una cura definitiva. Provoca, tra le altre cose, cicli mestruali molto abbondanti e dolorosi, un dolore che - racconta Tea - "certe volte è come un cane che mozzica, certe altre è come un fuoco che brucia". Ma "Se hai male in quei giorni che c'è di strano?", "Sei femmina, ti devi abituare", "Hai la soglia del dolore troppo bassa", "È un problema psicologico!" sono le frasi che si sentono rivolgere da generazioni le donne che ne soffrono. Questo modo sistematico di screditare il dolore femminile contribuisce a far sì che l'endometriosi ancora oggi venga spesso diagnosticata con grande ritardo.
La vita di Tea Ranno e il suo percorso letterario sono un tutt'uno con la storia della sua malattia, e quella storia comincia in Sicilia, negli anni Settanta, quando lei è un'adolescente: in casa si parla poco di corpo, il pudore impedisce di affrontare i disturbi che riguardano la sfera intima, si tende a nascondere, a tacere. Ma ciò che la bocca non può dire, finisce sui diari, e le parole diventano per Tea uno spazio di gioia e libertà. Da lei, però, ci si aspetta altro - che studi legge, che si faccia una posizione -, perciò anche la scrittura si trasforma in un segreto, un fuoco da tenere a bada, e Tea proverà a spegnerlo con tutta se stessa. Fortunatamente, non ci riuscirà mai.
Dopo aver generato infiniti sorrisi e lacrime con le sue storie di donne forti e coraggiose, Tea Ranno si mette in gioco in prima persona e affronta la propria, la più dolorosa e difficile da raccontare. Lo fa perché questa storia - fatta di rabbia e impotenza, di diagnosi e cure sbagliate, della faticosa ricerca di un figlio, ma anche di amicizie e incontri salvifici - non è solo sua. Riguarda tantissime donne, ed è per dar voce a tutte loro, per aggiungere anzi la sua voce a quella di chi già sta lottando perché questa malattia non rimanga invisibile, e per ricordarci che le nostre passioni più profonde possono sempre aiutarci a uscire dall'abisso, che questo libro esiste.
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