Moynihan is out with a “tooth thing” (which sounds lame, but is allegedly a “painful,” “very serious” dental emergency that definitely doesn't involve a tall, attractive blonde woman). Fortunately, our pal Jesse Singal (Blocked and Reported, Singal-Minded) is along for the ride, and outlines the plans for his heroic crusade to save THE REPUBLIC by beefing with JD Vance on X. We dive into Trump 2.0’s extra-constitutional improvisations, fail to steer clear of trade policy, and search desperately for a silver lining in our late-capitalist, national-populist, increasingly surrealist Idiocracy. Also in the mix: a little Elon drama, libertarian coping strategies, various flavors of executive branch lawlessness, and a surprising outbreak of informed optimism about the future.

* Tooth decay, high-end prostitutes, and podcast logistics

* Jesse Singal enters the chat (possibly still mid–Twitter beef)

* Deportation by executive vibe

* Due process is for losers

* When JD Met Jesse: A Very Sexy Love Story (by Selena Montgomery)

* The most important internet slap-fight in American history

* Hotel El Salvador: now accepting unwanted Americans

* Bannon’s “flood the zone” plan meets sheer incompetence

* Shouting at Bill Hemmer

* Campus protests, free speech, and DHS interns with tasers

* Jesse accidentally agrees with libertarians?

* And can Jesse say one nice thing about JD Vance? (And, “Thank you”!?)

* To the Moon, and Mars, and WHERE ELSE BEYOND