Let me just start by saying: Arizona is hot. Like, cook-an-egg-on-your-car-hood hot. Like, sweat-in-places-you-didn’t-know-had-pores hot. So it only makes sense that this state is one of the best places in the country to get naked and stay naked, preferably with a margarita in one hand and not a stitch of fabric in sight. Welcome to the land of saguaro cacti, red rock wonderlands, and enough sunshine to make a vampire cry. Also—surprise!—welcome to one of the most underrated nudist-friendly states in America.

Now before you clutch your pearls (or remove them because hey, nudity!), let me tell you: I didn’t always wander the Sonoran Desert in the buff, straddling a pool noodle like a proud cowgirl of the unclothed. No, I used to be a pretty standard gal with a drawer full of Target bras and a deep mistrust of thong tan lines. But then I got hot. Literally. I sweated through one too many pair of jeans and thought, “You know what would be better than this? Not wearing pants.” And that, my friend, is how a mid-thirties woman with a snarky mouth and very little upper-body support found her way into Arizona’s nudist culture.

Now I know what you’re thinking: is this just going to be a travel guide where you tell me how to avoid tan lines and accidentally sitting on anthills? (Spoiler: both will be covered, one of them with ointment.) But no—this is more than that. This book is your comprehensive, hilarious, and occasionally over-shared guide to being naked in Arizona without getting arrested, heatstroked, or bit on the butt by something with too many legs. I’m not just talking about where you can be naked legally. I’m talking about where you should go if you want to experience this state in all its breezy, sun-kissed, full-body-glory.

Arizona’s got nude resorts that range from swanky to “are those ants in the hot tub?”, trails where you can hike out with your cheeks to the wind, hot springs that are both relaxing and slightly sketchy (in a fun way), and desert nights so starry and beautiful that you’ll forget you haven’t worn underwear in three days.

Along the way, I’ll be sharing my personal tips, epic fails, and stories that involve getting sunburned in places my dermatologist warned me about, an unfortunate game of strip cornhole in Tucson, and my best friend Tanya claiming her butt has “a better personality than mine.” (It doesn’t, by the way. Mine’s hilarious.)

Whether you’re a seasoned nudist looking for your next great bare adventure, a curious newbie wondering if you have to wax everything (spoiler: no, but maybe trim if you plan on sitting on vinyl), or just someone who loves Arizona and doesn’t mind a breeze up their skirt—or lack thereof—this guide’s for you.

So lather up that sunscreen, toss your clothes in the backseat, and prepare to discover Arizona the way the javelinas intended: gloriously naked, a little sun-dazed, and probably laughing your butt off.

Let’s get cheeky.