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Have you ever felt like you’re just not good enough for God?

That’s where I found myself—completely wrecked, not just spiritually but physically. I’m battling stage four kidney cancer. It’s spread to my lungs. I’ve lost a kidney, a testicle, and both adrenal glands. And in the silence of night, when no one’s around, the darkest thoughts show up: God doesn’t love me. I’m going to die and be forgotten. My friends don’t care.

Then something unexpected happened. I started meditating on Psalm 23.
The opening line—“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want”—became my lifeline. It calmed my panic attacks. It helped me sleep again. Most of all, it started breaking the grip of a lie I’d believed for years: God’s love must be earned.

I grew up knowing Jesus loved me, but only in my head. My heart couldn’t hold onto it. My dad loved me, but he always pushed for more. An A on a test was met with, “Why not all As?” Over time, that became my image of God: constantly evaluating, never satisfied, waiting for me to measure up. It made me critical of everyone else, too. I became a spiritual scorekeeper, not a son.

The turning point came through two things: friends who showed me grace when I didn’t deserve it, and those quiet nights meditating on Psalm 23. Slowly, I began to see the truth:
God doesn’t love me because I’m right.
He loves me because He’s right.
He doesn’t love me because I earned it.
He loves me because I can’t.

Romans 5:6 says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
That truth is changing me. And I believe it can change you too.

So I made this podcast. Each episode is under 10 minutes, straight from my heart. No hype. No filters. Just one hurting person talking to another.
If life’s backed you into a corner…
If you’ve hurt the people you love…
If you wonder whether God really sees you or cares—this is for you.

The Holy Spirit is closer than you think. And He wants to show you:
You are fully known.
You are deeply loved.
And you don’t have to earn a thing.

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