Bloody Confused!
A Clueless American Sportswriter Seeks Solace in English Soccer
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Narrated by:
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Alex Hyde-White
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By:
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Chuck Culpepper
About this listen
Chuck Culpepper was a veteran sports journalist edging toward burnout...then he went to London and discovered the high-octane, fanatical (and bloody confusing!) world of English soccer.
After covering the American sports scene for 15 years, Chuck Culpepper suffered from a profound case of Common Sportswriter Malaise. He was fed up with self-righteous proclamations, steroid scandals, and the deluge of in-your-face PR that saturated the NFL, the NBA, and MLB. Then in 2006, he moved to London and discovered a new and baffling world - the renowned Premiership soccer league. Culpepper pledged his loyalty to Portsmouth, a gutsy, small-market team at the bottom of the standings. As he puts it, “It was like childhood, with beer.”
Writing in the vein of perennial best sellers such as Fever Pitch and Among the Thugs, Chuck Culpepper brings penetrating insight to the vibrant landscape of English soccer - visiting such storied franchises as Manchester United, Chelsea, and Liverpool...and an equally celebrated assortment of pubs. Bloody Confused! will put a smile on the face of any sports fan who has ever questioned what makes us love sports in the first place.
©2007 Chuck Culpepper (P)2014 Audible Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Pete Rose
- An American Dilemma
- By: Kostya Kennedy
- Narrated by: Ben Bartolone
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Pete Rose played baseball with a singular and headfirst abandon that endeared him to fans and peers, even as it riled others--a figure at once magnetic, beloved and polarizing. Rose has more base hits than anyone in history, yet he is not in the Hall of Fame. Twenty-five years ago he was banished from baseball for gambling, then ruled ineligible for Cooperstown; today, the question "Does Pete Rose belong in the Hall of Fame?" has evolved into perhaps the most provocative in sports, a layered, slippery and ever-relevant moral conundrum.
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Good book, not so good production.
- By david d. on 05-01-14
By: Kostya Kennedy
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Monsters
- The 1985 Chicago Bears and the Wild Heart of Football
- By: Rich Cohen
- Narrated by: Tom Taylorson
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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For Rich Cohen and millions of other fans, the 1985 Chicago Bears were more than a football team: they were the greatest football team ever - a gang of colorful nuts, dancing and pounding their way to victory. They won a Super Bowl and saved a city. It was not just that the Monsters of the Midway won but how they did it....
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For any Bears fans
- By Frank S. Saltiel on 11-18-21
By: Rich Cohen
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Sweetness
- The Enigmatic Life of Walter Payton
- By: Jeff Pearlman
- Narrated by: Malcolm Hillgartner
- Length: 18 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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At five feet ten inches tall, running back Walter Payton was not the largest player in the NFL, but he developed a larger-than-life reputation for his strength, speed, and grit. Nicknamed “Sweetness” during his college football days, he became the NFL’s all-time leader in rushing and all-purpose yards, capturing the hearts of fans in his adopted Chicago.
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Honest Accounting Of A Fascinating Life
- By RevInTampa on 08-19-15
By: Jeff Pearlman
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Dream Team
- How Michael, Magic, Larry, Charles, and the Greatest Team of All Time Changed the Game of Basketball Forever
- By: Jack McCallum
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In Dream Team, acclaimed sports journalist Jack McCallum delivers the untold story of the greatest team ever assembled: the 1992 U.S. Olympic men's basketball team that captivated the world, kindled the hoop dreams of countless children around the planet, and remade the NBA into a global sensation. As a senior staff writer for Sports Illustrated, McCallum enjoyed a courtside seat for the most exciting basketball spectacle on earth, covering the Dream Team from its inception to the gold medal ceremony in Barcelona.
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Great insight into the great basketball team ever.
- By James O'Brien on 09-04-12
By: Jack McCallum
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Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer
- A Journey Into the Heart of Fan Mania
- By: Warren St. John
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Warren St. John decided to find out why people care so much about the outcomes of games they're not playing in by joining a group where the particulars of the fan psyche would show themselves in sharp relief: the caravan of hundreds of RVs that follow the Alabama Crimson Tide across the South, taking over college towns with a moveable feast of Weber grills, karaoke machines, Igloo coolers, and fast-draining liquor bottles.
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Well done
- By James Younger on 10-07-04
By: Warren St. John
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Pistol
- The Life of Pete Maravich
- By: Mark Kriegel
- Narrated by: Lloyd James
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Pistol is more than the biography of a ballplayer. It's the stuff of classic novels: the story of a boy transformed by his father's dream and the cost of that dream. Even as Pete Maravich became Pistol Pete, a basketball icon for baby boomers, all the Maraviches paid a price. Now acclaimed author Mark Kriegel has brilliantly captured the saga of an American family: its rise, its apparent ruin, and, finally, its redemption.
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Extremely Good!
- By steve on 12-12-12
By: Mark Kriegel
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Why Soccer Matters
- By: Pele, Brian Winter
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Soccer. Football. The beautiful game. The world’s most popular sport goes by many names, but for decades, fans have agreed on one thing: the greatest player of all time was Pelé. Now the legendary star, ambassador, and humanitarian shares a global vision for what soccer can accomplish. Now he shares his story, his experience, and his insights on the game for the very first time. Before Messi, before Ronaldo, before Beckham, there was Edson Arantes do Nascimento - known simply as Pelé.
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A Pele that will win your heart.
- By Montholon on 12-24-20
By: Pele, and others
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Showtime
- Magic, Kareem, Riley, and the Los Angeles Lakers Dynasty of the 1980s
- By: Jeff Pearlman
- Narrated by: Malcolm Hillgartner
- Length: 18 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling sportswriter Jeff Pearlman draws from almost 300 interviews to take the first full measure of the Lakers’ epic Showtime era. A dazzling account of one of America’s greatest sports sagas, Showtime is packed with indelible characters, vicious rivalries, and jaw-dropping, behind-the-scenes stories of the players’ decadent Hollywood lifestyles. From the Showtime era’s remarkable rise to its tragic end - marked by Magic Johnson’s 1991 announcement that he had contracted HIV - Showtime is a gripping narrative of sports, celebrity, and 1980s-style excess.
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Offended at the style used to voice black characters.
- By NP on 01-15-22
By: Jeff Pearlman
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Bottom of the 33rd
- Hope and Redemption in Baseball's Longest Game
- By: Dan Barry
- Narrated by: Dan Barry
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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On April 18, 1981, a ball game sprang eternal. What began as a modestly attended minor-league game between the Pawtucket Red Sox and the Rochester Red Wings became not only the longest ever played in baseball history, but something else entirely. The first pitch was thrown after dusk on Holy Saturday, and for the next eight hours the night seemed to suspend its participants between their collective pasts and futures, between their collective sorrows and joys....
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I love baseball
- By Sher from Provo on 04-08-13
By: Dan Barry
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Scribe
- My Life in Sports
- By: Bob Ryan
- Narrated by: Bob Ryan
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever since he joined the sports department of the Boston Globe in 1968, sports enthusiasts have been blessed with the writing and reporting of Bob Ryan. Tony Kornheiser calls him the "quintessential American sportswriter". For the past 25 years, he has also been a regular on various ESPN shows, especially The Sports Reporters, spreading his knowledge and enthusiasm for sports of all kinds.
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No my idea of a memoir
- By Michael Friedman on 12-19-14
By: Bob Ryan
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Men in Blazers Present Encyclopedia Blazertannica
- A Suboptimal Guide to Soccer, America's "Sport of the Future" Since 1972
- By: Michael Davies, Roger Bennett
- Narrated by: Roger Bennett, Michael Davies
- Length: 3 hrs and 57 mins
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Soccer has been America's Sport of the Future since 1972. The Men in Blazers are two English-born, soccer-obsessed broadcasters who have savored the dizzying growth of the game along with millions of Americans, as if it was a rollicking, sporting telenovela playing out in real life. Written in such a way that fully immerses Americans in the history and culture of the world's game, their Encyclopedia Blazertannica relives the careers of such greats such as George Best, Maradona, Beckham...and Alexi Lalas.
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complete horsecrap
- By Jordan on 06-07-18
By: Michael Davies, and others
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One Shot at Forever
- A Small Town, an Unlikely Coach, and a Magical Baseball Season
- By: Chris Ballard
- Narrated by: Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1971, a small-town high school baseball team from rural Illinois playing with hand-me-down uniforms and peace signs on their hats defied convention and the odds. Led by an English teacher with no coaching experience, the Macon Ironmen emerged from a field of 370 teams to become the smallest school in Illinois history to make the state final, a distinction that still stands. There, sporting long hair, and warming up to "Jesus Christ Superstar", the Ironmen would play a dramatic game that would change their lives forever.
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Outstanding.
- By Cartman18 on 08-02-13
By: Chris Ballard
What listeners say about Bloody Confused!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kevin Rendon
- 04-22-15
Great book!!
Great! Love it!! Makes you want to move to England and follow a Premiere team. Then again how will i feed myself in England?
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- Sean Downey
- 01-09-19
Inspirational
This is a fantastic story! I hope every American Soccer Fan listens to this, and not choose a team, but live for a team.
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- Matthew Pluck
- 08-06-18
Enjoyable listen
I really enjoyed this book. It’s more about Portsmouth season from the year he wrote is than the EPL as a whole. It’s definitely worth a listen if you enjoy soccer though.
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- Rob Walker
- 08-07-17
EPL for "my American brain."
Sports analysis that goes far beyond the pitch. Makes belligerent fandom a little less belligerent.
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- W. Brian Hall
- 12-04-18
Bloody Disappointing
I should have been the prime target for this book, since I too am an American who fell in love with English soccer while living abroad. I recognized so much of my history of learning about the intricacies of the how soccer in Europe is different from American football, with all the different concurrent cup competitions and histories and organizations of the league pyramid.
So why don't I love this book?
Because Culpepper is the worst sort of fan: it isn't enough that he loves his sport, he has to tell you constantly why your sport is worse. I personally have grown to love soccer more than the football I grew up watching, but I don't think people who prefer football are stupid or wrong for preferring their favorite sport. Culpepper, from the evidence here, does think that Americans who watch American sports are stupid.
He is also the worst sort of expat American: the one who is constantly going on about how America is worse than where he is now, and won't shut up about it. America has problems, I don't deny it. But it also has lots of good points too. It is hardly the backwards cesspool he seems to think it is. And England, like all places populated by humans, is hardly perfect.
Admittedly, there are two excuses for his attitude. The first Culpepper talks about at length, namely that he was burned out from years of being a sportswriter and having to cover the worst parts of American sports (scandals, money, etc.) while at the same time being prevented by his profession from enjoying all the positive aspects of fandom. The best parts of the book are him rediscovering the joys of fandom.
The other factor is probably just the result of all this being so new to him. I know from experience that is a common failing of new expats and fans to fall too much in love and not see the problems with their new obsession. I wonder if Mr. Culpepper wrote a book about the next 10 years of his fandom (the book is about the 2006-7 season) if it would not be much more interesting and balanced, especially considering the difficulties that his chosen club, Portsmouth, has experienced in those next 10 years (three more seasons in the EPL, then relgated again and again and again to the fourth level of the English pyramid, entering administration to avoid liquidation, not being able to pay its players, etc.) and the current resurgence (last year they won their league and were promoted to the third level and are currently on course to be promoted again).
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- Bernie Sepponan
- 09-12-14
Not for americans
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
A person who is both utterly jaded by the cliches of American culture and completely naive of and a bit reverential toward culture in the UK.
How could the performance have been better?
Not have the reader add a juvenile brat quality to the bitter views of the author.
Any additional comments?
As an American and a long time fan of English football i failed to gain further insight into uk fb or to be entertained. i have English and Scottish friends that would be the first to highlight that sports corruption in the UK is every bit as rampant as it is in the US however the author spends a line every paragraph, a full quarter of the book puking on everything American as greedy, backwards, mean-spirited and imbecilic while extolling all things English as ingenious, thoughtful, pure, efficient and noble. The man is dour and angry at his former country i love the uk and us but really I can't listen to this without feeling this old alcoholic sports writer's 40 failed years in America as they sour every one of his genuine ex-pat discoveries. I fail to see the entertainment value in his out dated cliches about America and i am glad that portsmouth fc is still a fourth rate club. LIVERPOOL FC FOREVER!
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3 people found this helpful
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- steve finkelstein
- 03-25-20
Bloody Awful
How difficult is it to get somebody who is familiar with sports or football/soccer to actually narrate a sports book. It can’t be that hard. Can it?! The narrator keeps mispronouncing UEFA. The E is pronounced like the E in BET, not like the E in BEAT. And when referring to an American college football team, the narrator refers to an organization called the NAAC rather than the NCAA. Does anyone proof or edit these things?!
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