Confessions of a Dork Lord
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Narrated by:
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Shannon McKain
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By:
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Mike Johnston
About this listen
Despicable Me meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid in this hilarious middle-grade adventure that follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny.
Meet Wick. He's the son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World. Too bad he's stuck in Remedial Spell Casting (he can barely even cast the fart-revealer spell), he's allergic to fire and brimstone, and the bullies at school insist on calling him Dork Lord.
Full of humor and hijinks, Confessions of a Dork Lord follows Wick through the entries of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness...and survive Middle Ages School.
"I loved every page, and your kid will too!" (Melissa de la Cruz, best-selling author of the Descendants series)
"It's not easy being bad. But this book will give you a head start." (Pseudonymous Bosch, best-selling author of the Secret series)
"Hilarious! Not to be missed!" (Eoin Colfer, best-selling author of the Artemis Fowl series)
©2020 Mike Johnston (P)2020 Listening LibraryListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"It's not easy being bad. But this book will give you a head start." (Pseudonymous Bosch, best-selling author of the Secret series)
“Hilarious! Confessions of a Dork Lord is not to be missed! It is very rare to find a totally original book, stuffed with great characters, wrapped in a thrilling storyline. Fantasy fans will love it. Non-fantasy fans will be converted.” (Eoin Colfer, best-selling author of the Artemis Fowl series)
“Entertaining.” (Publishers Weekly)
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-
Story
Chase Berrymore dreams of adventure, excitement, and getting the heck out of her pastoral halven village. But when adventure finds her, she'll be scrambling to save her family and friends from a necromancer's wrath. Outmatched in almost every way, she'll have to use her wits, charisma, and a bit of divine favor to figure out the path to victory. Even worse, she'll have to figure out ways to deal with the weird and nigh-immortal beings that call themselves "playas"...and she'll have to do it with the most powerful weapon she has available: words.
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Great continuation of threadbear-verse
- By Randall on 08-17-19
By: Andrew Seiple
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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
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Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
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Tides of Magic
- By: James C. Williams
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 27 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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When Hal Emden hears about a contest that offers winners the chance to test the newest game from his favorite designer on a cutting-edge, unprecedented virtual reality system, he has to try his luck. Surprisingly, he wins. A full week, all expenses paid, to play the fully immersive game Tides of Magic Online. What could possibly go wrong? I mean, it's not like Elwin, the creator of the game and series, is an insane psychopath intent on trapping them in his virtual world for purposes unknown...right?
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OP'd to the MAX!!
- By Anonymous User on 12-28-20
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Slay and Rescue
- By: John Moore
- Narrated by: Jake Lewis
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Prince Charming must work overtime when he becomes embroiled in a plot involving an evil sorceress, an enchanted castle, an angry dragon, and three beautiful damsels in distress. In this hilarious fairy tale parody, Prince Charming is getting tired the constant need to Slay and Rescue.
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another charming story by John Moore
- By greygamer on 12-19-20
By: John Moore
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Patch 17
- By: G. Akella
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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A new update arrives to the ultra-popular online game, Realm of Arkon. With Patch 17, the level of immersion experienced by players in their gaming capsules has made virtual reality indistinguishable from the real world. But every gamer's dream becomes a nightmare for Roman Kozhevnikov after he gets confined to Arkon against his will. And not just to Arkon, but to its deadliest zone - Demon Grounds. Playing - or rather living - as his character Krian, it's not just about survival for Roman.
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Excellent story, great narrator...except...
- By Fitzwibble on 04-06-17
By: G. Akella
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Sentenced to Troll Compendium, Books 1-3
- By: S.L. Rowland
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 29 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Chad Johnson built his following by being a troll. Online games, social media, you name it—he's there with a witty comeback. But when he goes too far during a televised stream, he's handed a punishment unlike any other. Instead of the usual ban or suspension, Chad's sentenced to thirty days of full immersion therapy in Isle of Mythos—a world of epic fantasy filled with dungeons and mythical creatures. The twist? He's forced to embody a forest troll, one of the most-despised races in Mythos.
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Kids book
- By Kindle Customer on 03-15-22
By: S.L. Rowland
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Menacing Misfits
- Darkthorn Academy, Book 1
- By: Robyn Wideman
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 17 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Jack doesn't like it, but he'll do what is necessary to honor the man who raised him. But surviving Darkthorn Academy won't be easy. Jack will have to make alliances, learn to harness magic, and face dangerous enemies - both alive and dead. If he's lucky, he might just make it to second year.
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Hard to listen to.
- By Ty on 12-06-20
By: Robyn Wideman
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Heroics for Beginners
- By: John Moore
- Narrated by: Joe Delafield
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Prince Kevin Timberline must retrieve Ancient Artifact Model Seven from the clutches of the evil Lord Voltmeter - He Who Must Be Named - before said evil lord unleashes his diabolical plan. Luckily, Kevin wields a secret weapon that will cause the forces of darkness to tremble: The Handbook of Practical Heroics.
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Milking the Giant Cow!
- By Timothy on 03-28-13
By: John Moore
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Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
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Prodigy of Thunder
- Chronicles of Anna Atticus Stone, Book 1
- By: Sever Bronny
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 24 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The youngest warlock to ever wield lightning, 14-year-old Anna Atticus Stone dreams of attending the prestigious Academy of Arcane Arts. Except her life is a mess. She's friendless, her older sister keeps knocking her teeth out, and her parents constantly argue.
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Worth a credit
- By Chris on 09-28-23
By: Sever Bronny
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Phantasm: An Isekai LitRPG
- Phantasm, Book 1
- By: Christopher Hall, Maxlex
- Narrated by: Katherine Littrell
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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The Worldwalkers of legend are beings touched by Fate and transported from another realm, tasked with a grand destiny. Traditionally, they prevent great cataclysms or the fall of empires. Whatever their undertaking, their appearance brings about momentous change. It’s been some two hundred years since the last Great Game, but the time has come again. Seven are chosen, and the game begins once more . . .
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This is isekai done right.
- By Kindle Customer on 02-18-23
By: Christopher Hall, and others
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Unstoppable Liv Beaufont Bundle
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 34 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Included in this collection, totaling almost 35 hours of audio, are the following audiobooks: Book One, The Rebellious Sister; Book Two, The Uncooperative Warrior; Book Three, The Defiant Magician; Book Four, The Triumphant Daughter; and Book Five, The Loyal Friend.
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So when is the next set in the series coming out?
- By Nita King on 06-19-23
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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Between
- The Chronicles of Between, Book 1
- By: L. L. Starling
- Narrated by: Steve West, Emily Ellet
- Length: 32 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Sasha Pierce hasn’t had a single dream since she was a child...until she accepts a substitute teaching position in the charmingly witchy village of Old Middleton. Her first dream in twenty-five years ought to be enchanting, but her wonder quickly turns to shock when she realizes that it’s not a dream at all, but an entirely different sort of magic. Catapulted through an ancient portal into the fairytale kingdom of Between, Sasha’s astonishment is swiftly upgraded to panic when she accidentally performs a supposedly impossible feat and is declared the True Queen of Between.
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perfect narrators for my favorite characters
- By AnglophileLV on 03-07-23
By: L. L. Starling