Dastardly Bastard
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Glenn Marcum
-
By:
-
Edward Lorn
About this listen
Related to this topic
-
The Grandmother
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Anna Cordell, Max Dinnen
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two little girls stand with their heads bowed in my living room. I’m told they’re my granddaughters. Daisy is nine, and Alice seven. Daisy is the spitting image of her mother. This is the first time I’ve met them since my daughter and I fell out after she married that waste of space, Vince. They’ve come to live with me because their mother — my daughter — was murdered. In her own home while they slept close by. I think Vince killed her. But the police can’t prove it. I’ve always known he was no good. He treated my daughter like dirt. I said he’d cheat on her — but she wouldn’t listen.
-
-
Not too outlandish
- By Jackie H on 12-14-24
By: Jane E. James
-
Verity
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson, Amy Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of best-selling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read.
-
-
intriguing but skip if triggered by child abuse
- By Amazon Customer on 05-16-19
By: Colleen Hoover
-
Say No More
- By: Caroline Overington
- Narrated by: Anna Skellern
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Who is Audrey Hoedemaker? It's a question her sister Maureen has heard more times than she can count, and she doesn't know what the short answer would be. Little sister, troubled teen, backpacker, musical theatre coach, con artist, childcare worker. Murderer. A tragic, traumatic childhood casts a long shadow on the Hoedemaker sisters. Maureen has worked hard to move beyond the violence of the past and build a good, honest life for herself. Audrey, however, just can't seem to do the same, careening from one state of chaos to another.
-
-
Good read with a not so good ending.
- By Katie A Scribner on 12-26-24
-
10 Rules for the Perfect Murder
- By: James Patterson, Chris Tebbetts
- Narrated by: Reid Scott, Cobie Smulders, full cast
- Length: 3 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After the killing of a prominent mob lawyer, NYPD homicide detectives Jacob Jackson and Caitlin Grimes start receive chilling, written “rules” for how to commit the perfect murder. "Rule number one for the perfect murder: Evidence is your enemy. Leave none behind." Jackson (Reid Scott) and Grimes (Cobie Smulders) race to find the killer, setting them on a collision course with the city’s crime underbelly, and a perpetrator who seems happy to toy with them. “Rule number two. No crimes of passion. The perfect murder is always business, never pleasure.”
-
-
Tricky
- By Robert Scott Read on 10-30-24
By: James Patterson, and others
-
7 Hours to Die
- By: James Patterson, Duane Swierczynski
- Narrated by: Sarah Paulson, Patina Miller, Mel Rodriguez, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kidnappers grabbed Jenna in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers, and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
-
-
This was such a fun Quick listen
- By Mdc on 10-08-24
By: James Patterson, and others
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
The Grandmother
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Anna Cordell, Max Dinnen
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two little girls stand with their heads bowed in my living room. I’m told they’re my granddaughters. Daisy is nine, and Alice seven. Daisy is the spitting image of her mother. This is the first time I’ve met them since my daughter and I fell out after she married that waste of space, Vince. They’ve come to live with me because their mother — my daughter — was murdered. In her own home while they slept close by. I think Vince killed her. But the police can’t prove it. I’ve always known he was no good. He treated my daughter like dirt. I said he’d cheat on her — but she wouldn’t listen.
-
-
Not too outlandish
- By Jackie H on 12-14-24
By: Jane E. James
-
Verity
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson, Amy Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of best-selling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read.
-
-
intriguing but skip if triggered by child abuse
- By Amazon Customer on 05-16-19
By: Colleen Hoover
-
Say No More
- By: Caroline Overington
- Narrated by: Anna Skellern
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Who is Audrey Hoedemaker? It's a question her sister Maureen has heard more times than she can count, and she doesn't know what the short answer would be. Little sister, troubled teen, backpacker, musical theatre coach, con artist, childcare worker. Murderer. A tragic, traumatic childhood casts a long shadow on the Hoedemaker sisters. Maureen has worked hard to move beyond the violence of the past and build a good, honest life for herself. Audrey, however, just can't seem to do the same, careening from one state of chaos to another.
-
-
Good read with a not so good ending.
- By Katie A Scribner on 12-26-24
-
10 Rules for the Perfect Murder
- By: James Patterson, Chris Tebbetts
- Narrated by: Reid Scott, Cobie Smulders, full cast
- Length: 3 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After the killing of a prominent mob lawyer, NYPD homicide detectives Jacob Jackson and Caitlin Grimes start receive chilling, written “rules” for how to commit the perfect murder. "Rule number one for the perfect murder: Evidence is your enemy. Leave none behind." Jackson (Reid Scott) and Grimes (Cobie Smulders) race to find the killer, setting them on a collision course with the city’s crime underbelly, and a perpetrator who seems happy to toy with them. “Rule number two. No crimes of passion. The perfect murder is always business, never pleasure.”
-
-
Tricky
- By Robert Scott Read on 10-30-24
By: James Patterson, and others
-
7 Hours to Die
- By: James Patterson, Duane Swierczynski
- Narrated by: Sarah Paulson, Patina Miller, Mel Rodriguez, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kidnappers grabbed Jenna in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers, and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
-
-
This was such a fun Quick listen
- By Mdc on 10-08-24
By: James Patterson, and others
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
What listeners say about Dastardly Bastard
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- DabOfDarkness
- 04-05-14
Trevor ended up with no pants.
Would you listen to Dastardly Bastard again? Why?
Yes, it made me laugh and gasp and wonder what I would do if I had to face my deepest, darkest crap again. But in the great outdoors. With witnesses.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Dastardly Bastard?
Mark carrying Donald football style. Donald facing his worst shame and fear. Justine ending the nightmare.
What does Glenn Marcum bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
His voice adds tension. I tend to read faster than the narrators, so audiobooks slow down a story for me and allow me to enjoy the details more.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Mark facing the dead soldiers, and then using them to take out an even worse foe.
Any additional comments?
Now you probably want to hear about the book. In short, I loved it. It was fast-paced, full of wit and suspense. Each character came with their own baggage, their own horrors, that they had to face. Justine was my favorite. She was a real hero in this story, pulling folks together, leading the way when the path was not clear. At first I didn’t care for Donald the writer. He was a bit of a dick. But then we get a peek at his deepest horror and shame and I think my heart cracked a little for him. After that, I liked him quite a bit. Mark was also a favorite as he faced a professional quandary as a war correspondent – what to publish and what to delete, how much truth to tell?
I liked that not everyone survived (because I do find it unrealistic when all the good guys survive a paranormal attack of some sort). The pacing was good (never a dull moment). And the mix of people was great – various sizes, various skin tones, single, paired up, widowed, etc. The ending was more upbeat than the other two Lorn books I have read, so that was unexpected for me (but I liked it!). I really enjoyed that the characters had to go through some tough crap, face it, makes friends with it, and then they could attempt to come out the other side. Nothing was just given to the good guys.
I’ve now read three Lord books and quite enjoyed each one. This one did not disappoint and may have been even more enjoyable because it was an audiobook and I could listen as I worked.
Narration: Glen Marcum was an excellent fit for this audiobook. He infused the story with tension, tenderness, pissed-offness, etc. as needed. Edward Lorn writes well, and Glen Marcum did a great job of giving those characters a voice. I especially like his voices for Lyle and for Justine. Oh, and Trevor (who sounded stoned throughout the book).
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- brenda schleuning
- 07-10-18
Na
Not at all what I thought .Did not like it at all. Narrative not good story only so so
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Bill
- 01-15-16
Go get you some Lorn!
There are shadows that attach themselves around the living. If you can see them, you’re special. Oh, and you’re probably going to be dead soon. Well, maybe not. All you need to do is survive the mind trick that is the Dastardly Bastard and solve the mysteries of Waverly Chasm before you end up six feet under…or worse.
I checked this one out on audio and really dug it. The narrator did a fantastic job with the tone and cadence of the piece and, as always, Edward’s characters were drawn well and deeply broken in all the right places. If Edward Lorn is not on your “must read” author list, then you should change that immediately. Now, go get you some Lorn.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!