Losing weight can seem impossible when you’re an emotional eater.

When we’re scared, lonely, or sad, food provides such great relief – but it comes at a cost. It’s okay to want to be thin. We are not meant to be fat. When we lose weight, we uncover our true selves. Even the things that cause us to eat are easier to handle.

I don’t believe anyone likes being fat. Being fat is hard. It’s hard on the body and on the soul. It’s also embarrassing. I’ve broken chairs at restaurants, ripped pants in public, and I’ve been too big for rollercoaster seats. I heard Fatso so much growing up I thought it was all I would ever be.

But I can tell you everything in life gets better and easier after losing weight.

I was 380 pounds at my heaviest. I lost over 200 pounds and have kept it off for 20 years. I hope my story of what worked for me will inspire you. My story is of a gay boy growing up in rural Minnesota and learning to love and accept himself along the way; I believe any overeater will relate to my emotional journey and the fears and insecurities I experienced…and still do.

No one can do it for us, though. All the diets and programs out there show us the science, but then we’re left with the hole deep inside that just needs to be filled. Reading how others have done it helps the most, I think. This book shows what worked for me.

How can I stop eating when all I want to do is head to the fridge? How can I not turn to food when I’m anxious or depressed? How can I find an exercise I will like and actually do? These are a few of the questions I discovered answers to.

Because I’m a fat realist, I don’t think any of us compulsive eaters ever completely get over our food addiction. But we can learn to work with it. We need to figure out how to get along with our BFF (best friend food) because it’s just not going away.

We need to stop our overeating and get on with our lives. In addition to losing weight, I discovered how to get along in the world as a highly sensitive, people-pleasing, compulsive emotional eater. I even found my own personal secret to happiness.

Please read this book and get on with it. Lose the weight. Everything gets better when you do.

A note to the reader: This is an honest account of overcoming a lifetime of emotional eating and the sometimes bumpy journey to self-love, acceptance, and ultimately losing weight. Vivid, intense and sometimes raw language is occasionally used throughout the piece.