At age twenty-two, Nadine married Jordan Belfort, the nefarious stockbroker portrayed in the Hollywood blockbuster The Wolf of Wall Street. Their marriage began as a fairy tale, but once they were bonded, Jordan’s “mask” began to slip, and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine’s nightmare. The horrific relationship gave Nadine the inspiration to become a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, and complex PTSD.

The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.

Now that you’ve broken free, there’s something that will shock you—they still have a hold over you! They’re still involved in your life in a big way because you have a child together. Now you have to co-parent in two different households and find a way to move forwards for the benefit of your child.

Are you thriving in your relationship, or merely surviving? Are you the victim of constant manipulation, gaslighting, and deception at the hands of your partner? Do you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner's abusive behavior? If you feel trapped in a relationship with someone who displays narcissistic or psychopathic behavior, you may be experiencing a trauma bond—a powerful connection you've developed with your abuser. It's important to remember that you're not alone and it's not your fault.

It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.