Food, Girls, and Other Things I Can't Have
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Narrated by:
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Mark Weatherup Jr.
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By:
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Allen Zadoff
About this listen
What’s worse than being fat your freshman year? Being fat your sophomore year.
Life used to be so simple for Andrew Zansky - hang with the Model UN guys, avoid gym class, and eat and eat and eat. He’s used to not fitting in: into his family, his sports-crazed school, or his size-48 pants. But not anymore.
Andrew just met April, the new girl at school and the instant love of his life! He wants to find a way to win her over, but how? When O. Douglas, the heartthrob quarterback and high-school legend, saves him from getting beaten up by the school bully, Andrew sees his chance to get in with the football squad.
Is it possible to reinvent yourself in the middle of high school? Andrew is willing to try. But he’s going to have to make some changes. Fast.
Can a funny fat kid be friends with a football superstar? Can he win over the Girl of his Dreams? Can he find a way to get his mom and dad back together? How far should you go to be the person you really want to be? Andrew is about to find out.
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This is your parents' YA novel.
- By Lexi on 06-06-13
By: Andrew Smith
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Home Field Advantage
- By: Dahlia Adler
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus, Lori Prince
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Amber McCloud’s dream is to become cheer captain at the end of the year, but it’s an extra-tall order to be joyful and spirited when the quarterback of your team has been killed in a car accident. For both the team and the squad, watching Robbie get replaced by newcomer Jack Walsh is brutal. And when it turns out Jack is actually short for Jaclyn, all hell breaks loose. Amber tries for unity, but it quickly becomes clear that she's only got a future on the squad and with her friends if she helps them take Jack down. Just one problem: Amber and Jack are falling for each other.
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Really freaking excellent
- By Kindle Customer on 06-12-22
By: Dahlia Adler
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Carter Finally Gets It
- A Novel
- By: Brent Crawford
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Will Carter, but feel free to call him Carter. (Yes, he knows it's a lazy nickname, but he didn't have much say in the matter.) He has a stuttering problem, particularly around boobs and belly buttons. He battles Attention Deficit Disorder every minute of every day...unless he gets distracted. He's a virgin, mostly because he's no good at talking to girls.
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Funny and so believable!
- By Liana on 09-13-13
By: Brent Crawford
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Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie
- By: David Lubar
- Narrated by: Ryan MacConnell, the Full Cast Family
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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From the author of Dunk comes this sparkling new novel that covers a year in the life of high school freshman Scott Hudson, who is sideswiped by the unexpected news that his mother is about to have another baby.
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Pick Me! Pick Me!
- By Misty on 12-10-07
By: David Lubar
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Posted
- By: John David Anderson
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In middle school, words aren't just words. They can be weapons. They can be gifts. The right words can win you friends or make you enemies. They can come back to haunt you. Sometimes they can change things forever. When cell phones are banned at Branton Middle School, Frost and his friends Deedee, Wolf, and Bench come up with a new way to communicate: leaving sticky notes for each other all around the school. It catches on, and soon all the kids in school are leaving notes - though for every kind and friendly one, there is a cutting and cruel one as well.
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Really enjoyed this book
- By Svend&Brandy K. on 06-07-17
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Sweet Sixteen
- By: Brenda Rothert
- Narrated by: Kirsten Leigh, Chris Ruen
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Gin Fielding is counting the days until she escapes the small-town life of Roper, Missouri, for college at NYU. She prefers to blend in, though she’s far from invisible. But when she protects a younger student from a bully, the spotlight turns on her. Chase Matthews enjoys the small-town celebrity being the star quarterback brings. When Gin defends his little sister against a bully, he decides to change her senior year in ways she never imagined. When Gin declines Chase’s invitation to be part of the elite Sweet 16, the repercussions turn both their lives upside down.
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Awful message
- By Pink Amy on 02-05-23
By: Brenda Rothert
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Left Out
- By: Tim Green
- Narrated by: David Baker
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Landon Dorch longs to play football, and he is definitely built for the game. Unfortunately two things stand in his way: his mother's worries and the fact that he is deaf. Landon hopes that the family's move to a new town will offer him a fresh start and that he can leave behind the teasing and taunts that marred life at his former school. But his speech problems and his cochlear implants seem to invite bullying. Luckily he is not without help, starting with his loving and quirky family and then a great new friend on the team.
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Great story but Frustrating and too long developin
- By Kevin Scarberough on 08-30-17
By: Tim Green
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Just a Guy
- Notes from a Blue Collar Life
- By: Bill Engvall, Alan Eisenstock
- Narrated by: Bill Engvall
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.
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The Man Behind The Signs
- By Christopher on 12-07-07
By: Bill Engvall, and others
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OCDaniel
- By: Wesley King
- Narrated by: Ramon De Ocampo
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Daniel is the backup punter for the Erie Hills Elephants, which really means he's the water boy. He spends most of his time hoping no one notices his strange habits - he calls them Zaps: avoiding writing the number four, for example. His life gets weirder when another girl at school, unkindly nicknamed Psycho Sara, notices him for the first time. She seems to peer through him. Then Daniel gets a note: "I need your help", it says, signed, Fellow Star Child - whatever that means. Suddenly, Daniel, a total no one at school, is swept up in a mystery that might change everything for him.
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Love the story.
- By CMG on 07-13-21
By: Wesley King
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All Lined Up
- Rusk University, Book 1
- By: Cora Carmack
- Narrated by: Justis Bolding, Dan Bittner
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Dallas Cole loathes football. That's what happens when you spend your whole childhood coming in second to a sport. College is her time to step out of the bleachers and put the playing field (and the players) in her past. But life doesn't always go as planned. As if going to the same college as her football-star ex wasn't bad enough, her father, a phenom in Texas's world of high school coaching, has decided to make the jump to college ball…as the new head coach at Rusk University. Dallas finds herself in the shadows of her father and football all over again.
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Love me some Friday Night Texas Football!!
- By Lisa M. Filipe on 10-12-14
By: Cora Carmack
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Side Effects May Vary
- By: Julie Murphy
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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When 16-year-old Alice is diagnosed with leukemia, her prognosis is grim. To maximize the time she does have, she vows to spend her final months righting wrongs - however she sees fit. She convinces her friend Harvey, who she knows has always had feelings for her, to help her with a crazy bucket list that's as much about revenge (humiliating her ex-boyfriend and getting back at her archnemesis) as it is about hope (doing something unexpectedly kind for a stranger).
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Listening Experiences May Vary
- By The Reading Date on 05-18-14
By: Julie Murphy
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Under the Lights
- Boys of Fall Series, Book 1
- By: Shannon Stacey
- Narrated by: Carly Robins
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Chase Sanders's life has taken a lot of crazy turns lately. But returning to his hometown to help his old coach keep his high school football team afloat might be the craziest thing to happen to him yet. That is, until he starts falling for the last person he should - Coach's gorgeous daughter.
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Okay
- By Melliemel on 08-25-20
By: Shannon Stacey
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Made You Up
- By: Francesca Zappia
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Reality, it turns out, is often not what you perceive it to be - sometimes, there really is someone out to get you. For fans of Silver Linings Playbook and Liar, this thought-provoking debut tells the story of Alex, a high school senior - and the ultimate unreliable narrator - unable to tell the difference between real life and delusion. Alex fights a daily battle to figure out what is real and what is not.
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A DISGRACE TO AUTHORS AND MENTAL HEALTH EVERYWHERE
- By Amazon Customer on 06-27-18
By: Francesca Zappia
What listeners say about Food, Girls, and Other Things I Can't Have
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- Noah. woodworth
- 01-13-24
coaches, dad's, all the people you want to be perfect end up being human. kinda sucks.
red threw it in about 2 days once I started it became so hard to stop. I would call the story simple but somtimes you need that in your life to remind you why you love reading to just be a person going through life. and I loved the ending and I'm so happy it went that way mustard begals for life! :)
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