Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
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Narrated by:
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Lucy Paterson
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By:
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Kristen Bailey
About this listen
It’s normal for your washing machine to get more action than you, right?
I wake up, bleary-eyed.
It’s been two years, six months and three hours since I last shaved my legs, and the llama-patterned knickers I’m wearing have seen better days.
We have seven minutes before the kids wake up, and my husband shuffles closer. "Ouch," he says, a piece of Lego sticking into his back.
Then, a light comes on in the landing. Small footsteps creep down the stairs. A little voice screams, "Is someone coming to make breakfast?!"
All hope of having some "alone time" is replaced with wondering if we’ve run out of Cheerios, thinking about the overflowing laundry, and remembering that I forgot to take out the recycling. Again.
Just a typical Monday morning for the Morton family...
Except today, when I go downstairs in my dressing gown, I find something. Something belonging to my husband. Something that definitely wasn’t in the wedding vows. And it’s either going to make us...or break us.
An utterly hilarious and unmissable novel for anyone who has ever felt like they spend more time washing the dishes than getting lucky. Fans of Why Mummy Drinks and The Unmumsy Mum, and rom-coms by Sophie Ranald and Sophie Kinsella, will ugly laugh at this gloriously funny and relatable listen.
©2020 Kristen Bailey (P)2020 BookoutureListeners also enjoyed...
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A recent transplant from sunny California, life in the London suburbs is not what Taylor Watson expected. Far from the West End shops and city lights she imagined, she finds herself pregnant and lonely, with a husband frequently away on business and only social media to keep her company. It’s only after Taylor joins a book club and a walking group, that she finally starts to make some real-life friends. Before long, Taylor’s hanging out with Anna, Sarah, Simon, and Caroline, but, as her pregnancy progresses and her friendships blossom, a sense of unease develops.
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slightly suspenceful
- By Karen T on 03-16-22
By: Annabel Kantaria
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Wilde Like Me
- By: Louise Pentland
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Robin Wilde has a beautiful six-year-old daughter, a job she's really rather good at, a wonderful best friend and an auntie who is bonkers, yes, but loves her to the moon and back. But Robin has a secret. Behind the mask she carefully applies every day, she can't shift the grey, lonely feelings of The Emptiness. She struggles to fit in with the school mum crew, online dating is totally despair-inducing and she worries all the time about raising her daughter with self-confidence, courage and joy.
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I wanted so badly to love this!
- By Robyn on 07-22-17
By: Louise Pentland
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The Brightest Star in the Sky
- A Novel
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Caitriona Keyes
- Length: 17 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The Brightest Star in the Sky follows seven neighbors whose lives become entangled when a sassy and prescient spirit pays a visit to their Dublin townhouse with the intent of changing at least one of their lives. But what will this metamorphosis be and who will the sprite choose?
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Terrible sound quality, worse narration
- By Jan on 02-23-10
By: Marian Keyes
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What Happens Now?
- By: Sophia Money-Coutts
- Narrated by: Sophia Money-Coutts
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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After eight years together, Lil Bailey thought she’d already found ‘the one’ - that is, until he dumped her for a blonde 20-something colleague. So she does what any self-respecting singleton would do: swipes right, puts on her best bra and finds herself on a first date with a handsome mountaineer called Max. What’s the worst that can happen? Well it’s pretty bad actually. First Max ghosts her and then, after weeing on a stick (but mostly her hands), a few weeks later Lil discovers she’s pregnant.
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Good Beach Listen
- By Anonymous User on 06-02-21
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Just My Luck
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Genna Collins works a dead end job, loves her family, her girlfriend, and her friends. When she wins the biggest Euromillions jackpot on record everything changes . . . and not always for the best. When Abi Kitson fell in love she always knew it would go unrequited. The woman of her dreams was so close yet seemingly untouchable for so many reasons. Reasons like—they are best friends, or the big age gap, or the 'other' woman, nevermind Abi's own baggage.
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Good
- By Wendy Davidson on 10-25-24
By: Andrea Bramhall
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The Flatshare
- A Novel
- By: Beth O'Leary
- Narrated by: Carrie Hope Fletcher, Kwaku Fortune
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Tiffy and Leon share an apartment. Tiffy and Leon have never met. After a bad breakup, Tiffy Moore needs a place to live. Fast. And cheap. But the apartments in her budget have her wondering if astonishingly colored mold on the walls counts as art. Desperation makes her open minded, so she answers an ad for a flatshare. Leon, a night shift worker, will take the apartment during the day, and Tiffy can have it nights and weekends. He'll only ever be there when she's at the office. In fact, they'll never even have to meet.
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so much language!!
- By H H on 10-12-19
By: Beth O'Leary
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The Woman Who Stole My Life
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 15 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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In her own words, Stella Sweeney is just "an ordinary woman living an ordinary life with her husband and two teenage kids", working for her sister in their neighborhood beauty salon. Then one day she is struck by a serious illness that lands her in the hospital for months.
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First Part? Good. Second Part? Ugh!
- By Gillian on 08-31-17
By: Marian Keyes
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Lost for Words
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Sasha Adams has it all. Fulfilling career, loving family, great friends, and . . . Who's she kidding? She lives at home with her aging mother, Fleur. She works as a massage therapist, and spends all her time with her best friend, Bobbi. But damn it, she's happy. Well, okay, maybe not happy, but she's content. It's enough. Until the well-meaning but meddlesome women in her life, Fleur and Bobbi, team up and enter Sasha into a writing competition with the potential to change her life.
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She trusts her readers
- By Anonymous User on 01-02-23
By: Andrea Bramhall
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Summer at the Comfort Food Café
- The Comfort Food Cafe, Book 1
- By: Debbie Johnson
- Narrated by: Dawn Murphy
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The Comfort Food Cafe is perched on a windswept clifftop at what feels like the edge of the world, serving up the most delicious cream teas, beautifully baked breads and carefully crafted cupcakes. For tourists and locals alike, the ramshackle cafe overlooking the beach is a beacon of laughter, companionship and security - a place like no other, a place that offers friendship as a daily special and where a hearty welcome is always on the menu.
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incredibly boring!
- By Share Faerber on 12-23-19
By: Debbie Johnson
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As Good As It Gets?
- By: Fiona Gibson
- Narrated by: Jenny Funnell
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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A warm, funny read for fans of Outnumbered and the novels of Fern Britton, Fiona writes about life as it really is. "Midlife crisis? WHAT midlife crisis?!" Charlotte Bristow is worried about her husband, Will. With her 16-year-old daughter, Rosie, newly signed to a top modelling agency and Will recently out of a job, things are changing in their household.
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I didn't love it, even though I wanted to
- By Abby on 03-24-22
By: Fiona Gibson
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The Choir on Hope Street
- By: Annie Lyons
- Narrated by: Stephanie Racine, Ellie Heydon
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The best things in life happen when you least expect them. Nat's husband has just said the six words no one wants to hear - 'I don't love you any more'. Caroline's estranged mother has to move into her house, turning her perfectly ordered world upside down. Living on the same street, these two women couldn't be more different. Until the beloved local community centre is threatened with closure. And when the only way to save it is to form a community choir - none of the Hope Street residents, least of all Nat and Caroline, expect the results....
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Entertaining!
- By Cecilia Castillo on 10-23-22
By: Annie Lyons
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The Perfect Lie
- By: Karen Osman
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Claire Carmichael leads a charmed life. She has two beautiful sons, Jamie and Joshua, and a handsome and successful husband who loves her. Even when she was in school, Claire had it all. She was clever, likeable, and after passing the initiation tests, she was welcomed into the society of popular girls - the Queen Bees. So when a scandal threatened to ruin Claire's reputation, the Queen Bees closed rank to protect her, no matter who else got hurt. Claire may have moved on from her school days, but for one person who she hurt irreparably, those memories are as fresh as blood.
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Ok but predictable
- By Jenn on 09-29-19
By: Karen Osman
What listeners say about Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Diane Sidenberg
- 01-14-21
Hilarious!
I really enjoyed this book. The premise was unique and the characters were deliciously developed. A great read. Will follow this author!
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- Yvette White
- 10-22-22
Sex Life
Loved it.
I couldn’t stop laughing.
Fancy a f is my favorite. Still laughing.
Writing style is excellent.
Reading all her books over & over again.
Get this book now if you want some joy in your life,
The narrator is fabulous
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- Debbie Cortina
- 06-13-23
This was an interesting listen
I found this book to be very entertaining. It is quite sexual, which I was not expecting. Aside from the sexual thread is a story about family and loyalty. It is funny throughout and very enjoyable. The narrator does a fantastic job handling all the voices and accents.
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- Jennifer larkin
- 07-20-23
Hilarious
Loved this- couldn’t stop listening and laughing out loud!! Awesome characters voices!
Great job, would not be the same to read it!
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- Jan M
- 03-23-20
Cheeky Listen!
Kristen Bailey has definitely grabbed my attention with this book. The storyline was original and the characters interesting. I loved the reference to the Llama knickers. Lucy Peterson brought the characters to life and gave them distinguishable voices. Her attitude and accents was refreshing and so fitting!
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- Shumpie
- 07-19-22
Funny book
The book was funny. I enjoy the authors humor. I didnt laugh as much as her -can i give my hubby back? I cant wait to read the next book in this series.
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- Nana2six
- 01-23-23
Hysterical!
I listen to most of my audiobooks while driving but this one accompanied me while doing my farm chores as well. So, so funny, I couldn’t turn it off.
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- patty mastracco
- 01-02-23
Good story and fun!
Over it! I was wondering after the “ revelation” how the book would progress. It just got better and better!
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- Anonymous
- 05-08-23
Hysterical!!
This is my first introduction to both the author and narrator. Both were brilliant and can’t wait to dive into another of her books.
One of the best narrations I’ve heard in a long time!
Absolutely loved it
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-03-20
Funny and heartwarming
Just kept wanting to listen to find out what happens. Lots of out loud giggles along the way.
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