How to Love Your Daughter
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Cassandra Campbell
About this listen
“A stone-cold masterwork of psychological tension. Its final pages had me holding my breath.” —Flynn Berry, New York Times Book Review
The seemingly inexplicable estrangement between a woman and her grown daughter opens up a troubling question: What damage do we do in the blindness of love?
Thousands of miles from home, a woman stands on a dark street, peeking through well-lit windows at two little girls. They are the grandchildren she’s never met, daughters of the daughter she has not seen in years.
At the center of this mesmerizing story is the woman’s quest to understand how a relationship that began in bliss—a mother besotted with her only child—arrived at a point of such unfathomable distance. Weaving back and forth in time, she unravels memories and long-buried feelings, retracing the infinite acts of parental care, each so mundane and apparently benign, that in ensemble may have undermined what she most treasured. With exquisite psychological precision, Blum traces the seemingly insignificant missteps and deceptions of family life, where it’s possible to cross the line between protectiveness and possession without even seeing it—and uncertain whether, or how, we can find our way back.
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Critic reviews
“A stone-cold masterwork of psychological tension. Often its sentences are deceptively clear, as transparent and menacing as a swarm of jellyfish. Elsewhere, the tone swerves into humor, even goofiness. What links the two disparate registers, and all those in between, is an unerring authenticity: Every observation, gesture and piece of dialogue rings true. . . . its intrigues and revelations are dramatic enough to be wholly satisfying. Its final pages had me holding my breath.” —Flynn Berry, New York Times Book Review
“A mother’s adoration of her only child might be commonplace, but it is never simple. Hila Blum explores one particular mother-daughter relationship with remarkable acuity. Her novel takes us on a suspenseful psychological journey as she plumbs a great mystery: how the purest maternal love can lead to the most unwanted and even disastrous consequences.”—Sigrid Nunez, author of The Friend and What Are You Going Through
“A striking and memorable novel. With single-minded intensity, How to Love Your Daughter reckons with parent-child boundaries: the ones that are clear, and the ones that are sometimes hazy, or dangerously nonexistent.”—Meg Wolitzer
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Rose Napolitano is fighting with her husband, Luke, about prenatal vitamins. She promised she’d take them, but didn’t. He promised before they got married that he’d never want children, but now he’s changed his mind. Their marriage has come to rest on this one question: Can Rose find it in herself to become a mother? Rose is a successful professor and academic. She's never wanted to have a child. The fight ends, and with it their marriage.
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Amateurish and Frustrating Book
- By Nerd on 06-04-21
By: Donna Freitas
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Nearly Normal
- Surviving the Wilderness, My Family and Myself
- By: Cea Sunrise Person
- Narrated by: Cea Sunrise Person
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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In her best-selling memoir North of Normal, Cea wrote with grace about her unconventional childhood - her early years living in a tipi in Alberta with her pot-smoking, free-loving counterculture family. But her struggles do not end when she leaves her family at the age of 13 to become a model. Honest and daring, Nearly Normal reveals the many ways that Cea's unconventional childhood continues to reverberate through the years.
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This one is just not for me
- By Pamela Plimpton on 03-15-19
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A Thousand Roads Home
- By: Carmel Harrington
- Narrated by: Jill Crawford, Frank Grimes
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
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Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Gone Again
- A Thriller
- By: Minka Kent
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt, Gabra Zackman
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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On her fortieth birthday, Celia Guest has reason to celebrate. She has a loving marriage, a beautiful Connecticut home, and treasured friends. Celia has everything she’s ever wanted. But among the cards and well-wishes, she discovers a disturbing note: You don’t deserve any of this. Who could be so cruel, so resentful, so…knowing? Then, in the early morning hours, Celia vanishes without a trace.
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Nothing really happens
- By A reader on 04-11-23
By: Minka Kent
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The Stuff that Never Happened
- A Novel
- By: Maddie Dawson
- Narrated by: Teri Clark Linden
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Annabelle McKay knows she shouldn’t have any complaints. She’s been in a stable marriage that’s lasted almost three decades and has provided her with two wonderful children and thousands of family dinners around a sturdy oak table. Other wives envy the fact that Grant is not the type of man who would ever cheat on her or leave her for a younger woman. The trouble is Annabelle isn’t sure she wants to be married to Grant anymore. The trouble is she’s still in love with someone else.
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Don’t pass this one up.
- By Lauren on 03-10-20
By: Maddie Dawson
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He Came in with It
- A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness
- By: Miriam Feldman
- Narrated by: Ann Richardson
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens off the conventional course. Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal.
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So Beautifully Written
- By Michael on 08-01-22
By: Miriam Feldman
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Love Walked In
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ikeda
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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Dreadful audio quality
- By Marenghi on 09-16-11
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An Ordinary Wonder
- By: Buki Papillon
- Narrated by: Adjoa Andoh
- Length: 12 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Oto leaves for boarding school with one plan: Excel and escape his cruel home. Falling in love with his roommate was certainly not on the agenda, but fear and shame force him to hide his love and true self. Back home, weighed down by the expectations of their wealthy and powerful family, the love of Oto's twin sister wavers, and, as their world begins to crumble around them, Oto must make drastic choices that will alter the family's lives for ever.
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Intriguing
- By Mary P Browne on 09-20-21
By: Buki Papillon
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A Nail Through The Heart
- A Poke Rafferty Thriller
- By: Timothy Hallinan
- Narrated by: Victor Bevine
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Poke Rafferty was writing offbeat travel guides for the young and terminally bored when Bangkok stole his heart. Now the American expat is assembling a new family with Rose, the former go-go dancer he wants to marry, and Miaow, the tiny, streetwise urchin he wants to adopt. But trouble in the guise of good intentions comes calling just when everything is beginning to work out.
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Ever been to Bangkok?
- By Richard Delman on 12-11-11
By: Timothy Hallinan
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Finding Grace
- A True Story about Losing Your Way in Life...and Finding It Again
- By: Donna VanLiere
- Narrated by: Donna VanLiere
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Finding Grace is the powerful, often humorous, and deeply moving story of one woman's journey of broken dreams. It is the story of how a painful legacy of the past is confronted and met with peace. This book is for anyone who has struggled to understand why our desires---even the simplest ones---are sometimes denied or who has questioned where God is when we need Him most. This story is about one woman's unlikely road to motherhood. Finally, it's a book about the "undeserved gift which is life itself."
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Finding Grace... and joy, delight, and camaraderie
- By WeRLoved on 02-02-17
By: Donna VanLiere
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The Great Failure
- A Bartender, a Monk, and My Unlikely Path to Truth
- By: Natalie Goldberg
- Narrated by: Natalie Goldberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Original Recording
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"The Great Failure is a boundless embrace, leaving nothing out. I wanted to learn the truth, to become whole. If I could touch the dark nature in someone else, I could know it in myself." So begins Natalie Goldberg in this candid exploration of her life. Here, Goldberg makes sense of primary relationships between father and daughter, teacher and student, and exemplifies the accomplishment available when creating daily writing practices.
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If you have been let down by anyone. Listen
- By Mia on 04-19-18
By: Natalie Goldberg
What listeners say about How to Love Your Daughter
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Laurali
- 01-11-24
I was glad I finished it, but…
This book is narrated in the first person like something of a memoir. The main character, who becomes increasingly unlikeable due in part to her mental illness (my diagnosis, but she references depression often), weaves back and forth from the past to the present.
The premise is that she is estranged from her daughter, Leah, who has left the country and has a family that she has intentionally hidden from Yoella, the narrator.
I found myself bored not only with the story but also with the narrator, but I think she narrated in keeping with the story.
It wasn’t until the end that I felt that I really figured out the main character and how much her mental illness played a role in her story.
I have seen other reviews that said it felt unfinished, and I can see that. However, not sure I would have wanted much more from the story.
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- Marie Antoinette
- 02-01-24
I enjoyed it.
It’s a really, really slow storyline, but I could definitely feel for the character. The story only becomes truly interesting in like the last hour (of 6+), but I really liked it.
It’s important that we act in our integrity and that we avoid trying to shield our children from the consequences of their actions. This is the thing I loved most about my own parents.
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- Monique
- 08-06-23
Tour de force
The author weaves and knits her story as a mom, revealing her faults against her will and forcing us to keep our in check at all times. Beautiful writing, poetic and straightforward at the same time. Enjoyed it a lot. Highly recommended!!!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Isabel Cristina
- 12-27-23
Well narrated
It feels incomplete. I found parts where I could related as a mother but at the end all those details about their life took me no where at the end.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-15-24
Obsession about her daughter.
 Liked her descriptions of modern Israeli life. Although she gave credit, she borrowed too many of her ideas, and complete quotes from other authors. The heartbreak of an estranged adult child was described well.
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- DC
- 09-03-23
Infinite boring detail about a highly unappealing woman
An entire book made up of uninteresting information about a self-involved and unappealing woman. I kept waiting for . . . something but it never came.
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- Susan P
- 09-12-23
One of the worst books I have ever listen to
This is one of the worst books I have ever listened to. Nothing, and I mean nothing, happens. I listened all the way through because I thought, surely something big is going to happen at the end that will make it worth my time investment. Nothing, absolutely nothing. I read a positive review of this book and the title seemed very intriguing to me. I can’t believe I spent all those hours listening to this book. It is beyond terrible such a self absorbed woman.
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- SLG
- 02-08-24
I know what it was trying to do…
…but it wasn’t for me. The vignettes were disjoined and tedious. The narrator’s voice was that of a bad freelance personal essay writer. My fear while listening was that it was the author’s voice, not the narrator, who I disliked. Couldn’t finish.
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- Dana
- 09-27-23
Ugh
That’s all I can say. Ugh. Did not like or understand. Too disorganized. Reader was good, but the book left me wanting a real plot.
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