Preview
  • Just by Looking at Him

  • A Novel
  • By: Ryan O'Connell
  • Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
  • Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (191 ratings)

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Just by Looking at Him

By: Ryan O'Connell
Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
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Publisher's summary

From the star of Peacock’s Queer as Folk and the Netflix series Special comes a “funny, tender, and beautiful” (Gary Janetti, New York Times bestselling author) novel following a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy as he fights addiction and searches for acceptance in an overwhelmingly ableist world.

Elliott appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.

After falling down a rabbit hole of sex, drinking, and Hollywood backstabbing, Elliott decides to limp his way towards redemption. But facing your demons is easier said than done.

“With his singular voice and unforgettable wit” (Steven Rowley, author of The Guncle), Ryan O’Connell presents a candid, biting, and refreshingly real commentary on gay life, laugh-out-loud exploration of self, and a rare insight into life as a person with disabilities.

©2022 Ryan O'Connell. All rights reserved. (P)2022 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: LGBTQ+
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Editorial Review

The debut novel I didn’t know I was waiting for
As soon as I heard that award-winning screenwriter, memoirist, and actor Ryan O’Connell had his first novel coming out, I knew I had to listen. Written and performed by O’Connell himself, Just by Looking at Him is a biting, hilarious, and at times erotic look at addiction, disability, queerness, and how they all intersect for Elliott, a 30-something gay TV writer with cerebral palsy. It’s a story chock-full of gay cultural references told with O’Connell’s signature snarky wit. But alongside all of those funny moments, there’s an equally important contemplation of the complications and nuance of privilege, personal accountability, and self-love. If you’re a fan of any of O’Connell’s other work, I think you’ll love this listen too. — Michael C.

What listeners say about Just by Looking at Him

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

I hope the author went to therapy

The whispering was hard to hear.

It was enlightening to hear the author's perspective on his experience with a disability and being gay. I truly hope he received professional help for his low self-worth and self-loathing.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Waaaaao! What a read!

Great book! So happy I read it! Super funny. He is a genius to narrate and i can not imagine this book wothout his voice to read it. Also a book that touches so many important topics! Great representation for the minories as well. Just great read. You have to listen to it! ❤️

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Couldn't put it down!

Love hearing Ryan's books in his voice. Inflection, reflection, humor. A+ would listen again

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Cock 🙈🥰

I was on the set of Miracle Workers with Steve Busemi 10 feet away slapping muscles guys asses in an episode. one of the set boys was reading this book and I saw the cover and thought that sounds/looks interesting and on my way home I looked it up. I heard the first paragraph read aloud with him describing his boyfriends dick on audible here and I was hooked. The narration is so cute and the whole book was very lovable and funny and real. I liked how everything worked out in the end too. Him impressed by his perfect clean asshole and his eating lunch with his dad and a fling in the bathroom were some parts that stood out. I think of it as a sweet bedtime story I was told when I think back. ❤️

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Transformational

The author takes a journey to accept (or not no spoilers) his disability. As a 50 year old disabled woman, I enjoyed this novel although I think non-disabled people would get a lot out it too as author reflects on relationships (romantic, familial, work, friendship) One warning do not get if you’re squeamish about descriptions of bodies or sex.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Memoir?

I'm familiar with the author and actor. The story seems like a autobiography; He's quite talented, but as the author of the book I have some issues. He talks too fast, and I found it difficult to understand some of his prose. I'm from NYC, so I'm used to fast talk, but this is much to fast, and often not understandable. I found little that brings this book an interesting read. I do like the author/actor personally, but can't recommend this read, even if LGBTQ or disabled persons are the main the theme. I recommend you skip this for BB now, unless you're interested in his casting in Queer as Folk. I was hoping for more.








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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful journey

Wonderfully read & written by Ryan O’ Connell! This book is witty, endearing and is relatable to all! I strongly recommend it! ❤️❤️

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Such a great listen!

This book had me laughing out loud quite often and also tearing up at times. I loved listening to Ryan read his own story. It really brought it home for me.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Must read

I think Ryan O’Connell is an essential voice in media today. I have loved everything he has written and his show Special. His work, expounding the experience of otherness, of being a minority within a minority, while showing the vulnerability and uncertainty that is universal to all. Brutally honest, sexy, funny, embarrassing, heartwarming, and heartbreaking. I was sad that this book ended. Looking forward to his next work.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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This book is a moment

I am so thrilled, inspired, shocked, (not really) delighted and inspired that a book like this finally exists. This book is funny, horny, educational and stylish.

I love how Just by Looking at Him so easily toggles between ordinary life and filthy scenes, it’s just a joy.

Ryan O’Connor is the next queer, pop it-girl and I’m here for it.

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