
Losing My Cool
How a Father's Love and 15,000 Books Beat Hip-hop Culture
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $13.50
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Thomas Chatterton Williams
About this listen
How a Father's Love and 15,000 Books Beat Hip-hop Culture
A pitch-perfect account of how hip-hop culture drew in the author and how his father drew him out again - with love, perseverance, and 15,000 books.
Into Williams's childhood home-a one-story ranch house-his father crammed more books than the local library could hold. "Pappy" used some of these volumes to run an academic prep service; the rest he used in his unending pursuit of wisdom. His son's pursuits were quite different: "money, hoes, and clothes."
The teenage Williams wore Medusa- faced Versace sunglasses and a hefty gold medallion, dumbed down and thugged up his speech, and did whatever else he could to fit into the intoxicating hip-hop culture that surrounded him. Like all his friends, he knew exactly where he was the day Biggie Smalls died, he could recite the lyrics to any Nas or Tupac song, and he kept his woman in line, with force if necessary.
But Pappy, who grew up in the segregated South and hid in closets so he could read Aesop and Plato, had a different destiny in mind for his son. For years, Williams managed to juggle two disparate lifestyles- "keeping it real" in his friends' eyes and studying for the SATs under his father's strict tutelage. As college approached and the stakes of the thug lifestyle escalated, the revolving door between Williams's street life and home life threatened to spin out of control. Ultimately, Williams would have to decide between hip-hop and his future. Would he choose "street dreams" or a radically different dream- the one Martin Luther King spoke of or the one Pappy held out to him now?
Williams is the first of his generation to measure the seductive power of hip-hop against its restrictive worldview, which ultimately leaves those who live it powerless. Losing My Cool portrays the allure and the danger of hip-hop culture like no book has before. Even more remarkably, Williams evokes the subtle salvation that literature offers and recounts with breathtaking clarity a burgeoning bond between father and son.
©2010 Thomas Chatterton Williams (P)2010 PenguinListeners also enjoyed...
-
Self-Portrait in Black and White
- Unlearning Race
- By: Thomas Chatterton Williams
- Narrated by: Thomas Chatterton Williams
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A reckoning with the way we choose to see and define ourselves, Self-Portrait in Black and White is the searching story of one American family's multigenerational transformation from what is called Black to what is assumed to be White. Thomas Chatterton Williams, the son of a "Black" father from the segregated South and a "White" mother from the West, spent his whole life believing the dictum that a single drop of "Black blood" makes a person Black. This was so fundamental to his self-conception that he'd never rigorously reflected on its foundations....
-
-
Honest self-portrait of identity
- By Wayne on 06-18-20
-
The Identity Trap
- A Story of Ideas and Power in Our Time
- By: Yascha Mounk
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For much of history, societies have violently oppressed ethnic, religious, and sexual minorities. It is no surprise that many who passionately believe in social justice came to believe that members of marginalized groups need to take pride in their identity to resist injustice.
-
-
May It Mark A Turning Point
- By Larry on 09-28-23
By: Yascha Mounk
-
Social Justice Fallacies
- By: Thomas Sowell
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The quest for social justice is a powerful crusade of our time, with an appeal to many different people, for many different reasons. But those who use the same words do not always present the same meanings. Clarifying those meanings is the first step toward finding out what we agree on and disagree on. From there, it is largely a question of what the facts are. Social Justice Fallacies reveals how many things that are thought to be true simply cannot stand up to documented facts, which are often the opposite of what is widely believed.
-
-
Timely book by 93 year old Thomas Sowell
- By Wayne on 09-27-23
By: Thomas Sowell
-
When Race Trumps Merit
- How the Pursuit of Equity Sacrifices Excellence, Destroys Beauty, and Threatens Lives
- By: Heather Mac Donald
- Narrated by: Olivia Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your workplace have too few Black people in top jobs? It’s racist. Does the advanced math and science high school in your city have too many Asians? It’s racist. Does your local museum employ too many White women? It’s racist, too. After the Black Lives Matter protests of 2020, prestigious American institutions, from the medical profession to the fine arts, pleaded guilty to “systemic racism”.
-
-
People need to read/listen to this book
- By Casey on 04-20-23
-
Woke Racism
- How a New Religion Has Betrayed Black America
- By: John McWhorter
- Narrated by: John McWhorter
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Acclaimed linguist and award-winning writer John McWhorter argues that an illiberal neoracism, disguised as antiracism, is hurting Black communities and weakening the American social fabric.
-
-
Thank You
- By Withacy on 10-26-21
By: John McWhorter
-
The Coddling of the American Mind
- How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure
- By: Jonathan Haidt, Greg Lukianoff
- Narrated by: Jonathan Haidt
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The culture of “safety” and its intolerance of opposing viewpoints has left many young people anxious and unprepared for adult life. Lukianoff and Haidt offer a comprehensive set of reforms that will strengthen young people and institutions, allowing us all to reap the benefits of diversity, including viewpoint diversity. This is a book for anyone who is confused by what’s happening on college campuses today, or has children, or is concerned about the growing inability of Americans to live and work and cooperate across party lines.
-
-
Only Praise
- By TJ on 12-02-18
By: Jonathan Haidt, and others
-
Self-Portrait in Black and White
- Unlearning Race
- By: Thomas Chatterton Williams
- Narrated by: Thomas Chatterton Williams
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A reckoning with the way we choose to see and define ourselves, Self-Portrait in Black and White is the searching story of one American family's multigenerational transformation from what is called Black to what is assumed to be White. Thomas Chatterton Williams, the son of a "Black" father from the segregated South and a "White" mother from the West, spent his whole life believing the dictum that a single drop of "Black blood" makes a person Black. This was so fundamental to his self-conception that he'd never rigorously reflected on its foundations....
-
-
Honest self-portrait of identity
- By Wayne on 06-18-20
-
The Identity Trap
- A Story of Ideas and Power in Our Time
- By: Yascha Mounk
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For much of history, societies have violently oppressed ethnic, religious, and sexual minorities. It is no surprise that many who passionately believe in social justice came to believe that members of marginalized groups need to take pride in their identity to resist injustice.
-
-
May It Mark A Turning Point
- By Larry on 09-28-23
By: Yascha Mounk
-
Social Justice Fallacies
- By: Thomas Sowell
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The quest for social justice is a powerful crusade of our time, with an appeal to many different people, for many different reasons. But those who use the same words do not always present the same meanings. Clarifying those meanings is the first step toward finding out what we agree on and disagree on. From there, it is largely a question of what the facts are. Social Justice Fallacies reveals how many things that are thought to be true simply cannot stand up to documented facts, which are often the opposite of what is widely believed.
-
-
Timely book by 93 year old Thomas Sowell
- By Wayne on 09-27-23
By: Thomas Sowell
-
When Race Trumps Merit
- How the Pursuit of Equity Sacrifices Excellence, Destroys Beauty, and Threatens Lives
- By: Heather Mac Donald
- Narrated by: Olivia Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your workplace have too few Black people in top jobs? It’s racist. Does the advanced math and science high school in your city have too many Asians? It’s racist. Does your local museum employ too many White women? It’s racist, too. After the Black Lives Matter protests of 2020, prestigious American institutions, from the medical profession to the fine arts, pleaded guilty to “systemic racism”.
-
-
People need to read/listen to this book
- By Casey on 04-20-23
-
Woke Racism
- How a New Religion Has Betrayed Black America
- By: John McWhorter
- Narrated by: John McWhorter
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Acclaimed linguist and award-winning writer John McWhorter argues that an illiberal neoracism, disguised as antiracism, is hurting Black communities and weakening the American social fabric.
-
-
Thank You
- By Withacy on 10-26-21
By: John McWhorter
-
The Coddling of the American Mind
- How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure
- By: Jonathan Haidt, Greg Lukianoff
- Narrated by: Jonathan Haidt
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The culture of “safety” and its intolerance of opposing viewpoints has left many young people anxious and unprepared for adult life. Lukianoff and Haidt offer a comprehensive set of reforms that will strengthen young people and institutions, allowing us all to reap the benefits of diversity, including viewpoint diversity. This is a book for anyone who is confused by what’s happening on college campuses today, or has children, or is concerned about the growing inability of Americans to live and work and cooperate across party lines.
-
-
Only Praise
- By TJ on 12-02-18
By: Jonathan Haidt, and others
-
The War on the West
- By: Douglas Murray
- Narrated by: Douglas Murray
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In The War on the West, Douglas Murray shows how many well-meaning people have been fooled by hypocritical and inconsistent anti-West rhetoric. After all, if we must discard the ideas of Kant, Hume, and Mill for their opinions on race, shouldn’t we discard Marx, whose work is peppered with racial slurs and anti-Semitism? Embers of racism remain to be stamped out in America, but what about the raging racist inferno in the Middle East and Asia?
-
-
Every Human (seriously, everyone) Read This!
- By aaron on 04-27-22
By: Douglas Murray
-
The Canceling of the American Mind
- Cancel Culture Undermines Trust, Destroys Institutions, and Threatens Us All—but There Is a Solution
- By: Greg Lukianoff, Rikki Schlott
- Narrated by: Rikki Schlott, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Cancel culture is a new phenomenon, and The Canceling of the American Mind is the first book to codify it and survey its effects, including hard data and research on what cancel culture is and how it works, along with hundreds of new examples showing the left and right both working to silence their enemies.
-
-
Good book, Important information, poorly read
- By pj on 12-08-23
By: Greg Lukianoff, and others
-
The Madness of Crowds
- Gender, Race and Identity
- By: Douglas Murray
- Narrated by: Douglas Murray
- Length: 11 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In The Madness of Crowds Douglas Murray investigates the dangers of ‘woke’ culture and the rise of identity politics. In lively, razor-sharp prose he examines the most controversial issues of our moment: sexuality, gender, technology and race, with interludes on the Marxist foundations of ‘wokeness’, the impact of tech and how, in an increasingly online culture, we must relearn the ability to forgive.
-
-
An Urgent Read for Our Over-woke Times
- By Justin J. Norman on 09-26-19
By: Douglas Murray
-
Weapons of Math Destruction
- How Big Data Increases Inequality and Threatens Democracy
- By: Cathy O'Neil
- Narrated by: Cathy O'Neil
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We live in the age of the algorithm. Increasingly, the decisions that affect our lives—where we go to school, whether we can get a job or a loan, how much we pay for health insurance—are being made not by humans, but by machines. In theory, this should lead to greater fairness: Everyone is judged according to the same rules.
-
-
More are US social problems that WMD
- By Laurent Bourgault-Roy on 01-08-17
By: Cathy O'Neil
-
A History of Western Philosophy
- By: Bertrand Russell
- Narrated by: Jonathan Keeble
- Length: 38 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Considered to be one of the most important philosophical works of all time, the History of Western Philosophy is a dazzlingly unique exploration of the ideologies of significant philosophers throughout the ages - from Plato and Aristotle through to Spinoza, Kant and the 20th century. Written by a man who changed the history of philosophy himself, this is an account that has never been rivaled since its first publication over 60 years ago.
-
-
Russell's Philosophy, Some History Included
- By Donald on 06-19-21
By: Bertrand Russell
-
Irreversible Damage
- The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters
- By: Abigail Shrier
- Narrated by: Pamela Almand
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Teenage girls are taking courses of testosterone and disfiguring their bodies. Parents are undermined; experts are over-relied upon; dissenters in science and medicine are intimidated; free speech truckles under renewed attack; socialized medicine bears hidden consequences; and an intersectional era has arisen in which the desire to escape a dominant identity encourages individuals to take cover in victim groups. Every person who has ever had a skeptical thought about the sudden rush toward a non-binary future but been afraid to express it - this book is for you.
-
-
Some interesting points, but extremely biased
- By Bill on 08-03-20
By: Abigail Shrier
-
The Brothers Karamazov [Naxos AudioBooks Edition]
- By: Constance Garnett - translator, Fyodor Dostoevsky
- Narrated by: Constantine Gregory
- Length: 37 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Fyodor Dostoyevsky is a titanic figure among the world's great authors, and The Brothers Karamazov is often hailed as his finest novel. A masterpiece on many levels, it transcends the boundaries of a gripping murder mystery to become a moving account of the battle between love and hate, faith and despair, compassion and cruelty, good and evil.
-
-
A Spiritual and Philosophical Tour-de-Force
- By Rich on 02-27-16
By: Constance Garnett - translator, and others
-
The New Puritans
- How the Religion of Social Justice Captured the Western World
- By: Andrew Doyle
- Narrated by: Andrew Doyle
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Leading a cultural revolution driven by identity politics and so-called 'social justice', the new puritanism movement is best understood as a religion - one that makes grand claims to moral purity and tolerates no dissent. In The New Puritans, Andrew Doyle powerfully examines the underlying belief-systems of this ideology and how it has risen so rapidly to dominate all major political, cultural and corporate institutions. He reasons that, to move forward, we need to understand where these New Puritans came from and what they hope to achieve.
-
-
Hero speaking truth
- By Victoria Eriksson on 10-12-22
By: Andrew Doyle
-
Material Girls
- Why Reality Matters for Feminism
- By: Kathleen Stock
- Narrated by: Kathleen Stock
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Material Girls is a timely and trenchant critique of the influential theory that we all have an inner feeling known as a gender identity, and that this feeling is more socially significant than our biological sex. Professor Kathleen Stock surveys the philosophical ideas that led to this point, and closely interrogates each one, from De Beauvoir's statement that, 'One is not born, but rather becomes a woman' (an assertion she contends has been misinterpreted and repurposed), to Judith Butler's claim that language creates biological reality, rather than describing it.
-
-
thoughtful
- By M. McCann on 08-29-21
By: Kathleen Stock
-
A Lesson Before Dying
- By: Ernest J. Gaines
- Narrated by: Lionel Mark Smith, Roger Guenveur Smith
- Length: 3 hrs and 3 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jefferson is an innocent and unwitting party to a deadly liquor store shoot-out in the 1940s. As the only survivor, he is tried and convicted of murder and sentenced to death. Grant Wiggins, a university-trained teacher at the plantation school, is persuaded to visit Jefferson in his cell. Wiggins is torn between staying in his native Cajun community or moving on. The 2 men gradually form a bond as they jointly discover the simple heroism of resisting - and denying - the expected.
-
-
Misses the mark
- By Amie on 02-09-12
By: Ernest J. Gaines
-
Hillbilly Elegy
- A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis
- By: J. D. Vance
- Narrated by: J. D. Vance
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hillbilly Elegy is a passionate and personal analysis of a culture in crisis - that of white working-class Americans. The decline of this group, a demographic of our country that has been slowly disintegrating over 40 years, has been reported on with growing frequency and alarm but has never before been written about as searingly from the inside. J. D. Vance tells the true story of what a social, regional, and class decline feels like when you were born with it hung around your neck.
-
-
In Mamaw's Contradictions Lay Great Wisdom
- By Cynthia on 11-20-16
By: J. D. Vance
-
The Other Wes Moore
- One Name, Two Fates
- By: Wes Moore, Tavis Smiley - afterword
- Narrated by: Wes Moore
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In December 2000, the Baltimore Sun ran a small piece about Wes Moore, a local student who had just received a Rhodes Scholarship. The same paper also ran a series of articles about four young men who had allegedly killed a police officer in a spectacularly botched armed robbery. The police were still hunting for two of the suspects who had gone on the lam, a pair of brothers. One was named Wes Moore.
-
-
Insightful lesson in self-determination
- By Aneesah on 02-04-13
By: Wes Moore, and others
What listeners say about Losing My Cool
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Megan H. Afshar
- 02-25-25
Incredible transformation
The whole book was great, but I wish I could have taken the last quarter of the book, his time in college and beyond, and lengthen that into its own book. I would love to hear TCW expound on his thoughts regarding his metamorphosis—how it impacts his family and his community and wisdom he would share with a younger Thomas going down the same path.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Donutrogue7
- 10-18-21
Phenomenal
As a racialized white person, I don't know what to say. His insight, though traveling through the lens of the Racialized Black experience, helped me to review how I think about my own self and the ways in which I limit myself because of the labels and signs we hang on ourselves. I'll be buying the paper version of this book ASAP.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Lee H.
- 12-05-22
Very revealing about life
Narrator was great. I love the honesty of the author; allowing us a view into the supposed coolness of black culture but then showing us how and why he relinquished it.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
- aerlys
- 08-28-11
A window into another culture
As a suburban 50 year old white woman I really appreciated the insider's view into the hip-hop culture. Fascinating and very easy to listen to. I have purchased the book for my kids because not only do you learn about hip-hop, there is also a lot of thought about how we choose to live our lives (not surprising given that the author is a philosopher).
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
- Rondale Williams
- 03-17-11
Greatness
Great book....a must read read for any african-american person.I grew a lot of inspiration from Williams's memoir!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 05-27-19
An unorthodox bildungsroman
Losing my cool is the story of Thomas Chatterton Williams’ youth and intellectual coming of age, against the backdrop of the hip hop culture of the 80’s and 90’s. This is a culture with which Williams identifies strongly for many of his formative years, but gradually comes to understand as prescribing a restrictive set of acceptable behaviours, desires and thought.
Ultimately Williams levels a firm critique of what he has experienced as the stultifying effects of these cultural expectations. This seems to be the primary source of enmity behind strongly negative reviews of the book. Don’t read Losing My Cool for the final word on hip hop culture, but rather as a compelling personal account of a racialized youth intertwined in this culture, but growing ultimately towards a life on terms of Williams’ own. Williams father features prominently as a deeply supportive figure who holds learning and true self-realisation (hard-won in his own case) as the highest ideals for his children.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Rachel Crabtree
- 06-19-20
June 2020
Listening to this book on Junteenth, one week after the BLM protests. This is what everyone needs to hear but what is not being said by the mainstream. There are so many great things to be learned from and reflected on within this book.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Bryan Yanez
- 12-28-20
Skrt Skrt on the Soul
TCW illustrates an intrinsic struggle beseeched by youth of various backgrounds through the interpolation of hip hop. His experience of flowing through class and culture, (often on visa in these spaces), he weaves the benefits of assimilation, but only to question at what cost? His questioning of the soundtrack to his life in juxtaposition to his father and personal achievement gives a supple tension that engages readers -- (and most definitely hip hop heads). He reads his work very well, and sonically is not droll at all. Wu Tang Forever
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- TS
- 10-18-20
What a book...
Simultaneously heartbreaking and hopeful, with a violent beauty that takes your breath away when the slow boil comes and the window opens to the world outside of what he has known. TCW is an independent thinker pushing against the ebb and flow of today’s racial discussions and forging his own path. Good on him. That more would follow his lead and take their own journey, and not jump onto everyone else’s.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
- Roy
- 09-14-10
15000 Books and Hip-hop Culture
I ordered this book because it covered a topic (Hip-hop and its culture) that I know little about. I am always looking for books that will inform and Williams has fulfilled that need on many levels. This is the essentially the first person tale of Thomas Williams and his life with a loving, well educated and well read father. Williams gets caught up in the Hip-hop culture and ultimately finds his way to a much enriched life including - books.
This is a coming of age book which is fulfilling on one level and first person explanation of hip-hop culture its influence on the author. The book is expertly written and wonderfully read by the author. It certainly expanded my apprciation for memoir, hip-hop culture, and reading. Give this one a try.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful