Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
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Narrated by:
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LJ Ganser
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By:
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Phil Mason
About this listen
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield. You'll learn that an irate blacksmith threw his hammer at a fox and missed, hitting a rock and revealing the largest vein of silver ever discovered, thus changing the finances of Canada forever. Interestingly, Charlton Heston was cast as Moses in The Ten Commandments because his broken nose made him look like Michelangelo's famous sculpture of Moses. Finally, no one knows Einstein's last words. They were in German, a language his nurse did not speak.
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The course of history is often attributed to the grandeur of mighty battle, great discoveries, or stellar feats. But what if every one of those events occurred through some highly unlikely or completely overlooked happening of chance? This is the through-the-looking-glass idea of Phil Mason's bizarrely entertaining Napoleon's Hemorrhoids...And Other Small Events That Changed History. This audiobook is brought to life by the joyously pugnacious performance of L. J. Ganser. If you want to do your historical curiosity a favor sit down and listen to this ridiculously great audio…and discover all the what-ifs of the past.
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A rousing tale of espionage and unsung valor, this is the captivating true story of Vera Atkins, Great Britain's spymistress from the age of 25. With her fierce intelligence, blunt manner, personal courage, and exceptional informants, Vera ran countless missions throughout the 1930s. After rising to the leadership echelon in the Special Operations Executive (SOE), a covert intelligence agency formed by Winston Churchill, she became head of a clandestine army in World War II.
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Great Story - Unfortunately Monotone Performance
- By Glenn on 03-29-14
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Red Heat
- Conspiracy, Murder, and the Cold War in the Caribbean
- By: Alex von Tunzelmann
- Narrated by: Sarah Coomes
- Length: 19 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The Caribbean crises of the Cold War are revealed as never before in this riveting story of clashing ideologies, the rise of the politics of fear, the machinations of superpowers, and the daring of the brazen mavericks who took them on. The superpowers thought they could use Cuba, Haiti, and the Dominican Republic as puppets, but what neither bargained on was that their puppets would come to life.
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Interesting, not extraordinary.
- By History on 10-24-11
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Operation Mincemeat
- How a Dead Man and a Bizarre Plan Fooled the Nazis and Assured an Allied Victory
- By: Ben Macintyre
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Ben Macintyre’s Agent Zigzag was hailed as “rollicking, spellbinding” (New York Times), “wildly improbable but entirely true” (Entertainment Weekly), and, quite simply, “the best book ever written” (Boston Globe). In his new book, Operation Mincemeat, he tells an extraordinary story that will delight his legions of fans. In 1943, from a windowless basement office in London, two brilliant intelligence officers conceived a plan that was both simple and complicated - Operation Mincemeat.
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Better than the movie
- By Jack M on 06-23-10
By: Ben Macintyre
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When Churchill Slaughtered Sheep and Stalin Robbed a Bank
- History's Unknown Chapters
- By: Giles Milton
- Narrated by: Giles Milton
- Length: 5 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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In When Churchill Slaughtered Sheep and Stalin Robbed a Bank, the second installment in his outrageously entertaining series, History's Unknown Chapters, Giles Milton shows his customary historical flair as he delves into the little-known stories from history, like when Stalin was actually assassinated with poison by one of his inner circle; the Russian scientist, dubbed the "Red Frankenstein", who attempted to produce a human-ape hybrid through ethically dubious means; and much more.
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Great Trivia Source
- By Jean on 11-14-16
By: Giles Milton
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1983
- Reagan, Andropov, and a World on the Brink
- By: Taylor Downing
- Narrated by: Ben Onwukwe
- Length: 12 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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A riveting, real-life thriller about 1983 - the year tensions between the United States and the Soviet Union nearly brought the world to the point of nuclear Armageddon. The year 1983 was an extremely dangerous one - more dangerous than 1962, the year of the Cuban Missile Crisis. In the United States, President Reagan vastly increased defense spending, described the Soviet Union as an "evil empire," and launched the "Star Wars" Strategic Defense Initiative to shield the country from incoming missiles.
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Great story, poor narration choices.
- By John Gray on 02-11-19
By: Taylor Downing
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Agent Garbo
- The Brilliant, Eccentric Secret Agent Who Tricked Hitler & Saved D-Day
- By: Stephan Talty
- Narrated by: Clinton Wade
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Before he remade himself as the master spy known as Garbo, Juan Pujol was nothing more than a Barcelona poultry farmer. But as Garbo, he turned in a masterpiece of deception that changed the course of World War II. Posing as the Nazis’ only reliable spy inside England, he created an imaginary million-man army, invented armadas out of thin air, and brought a vast network of fictional subagents to life. The scheme culminated on June 6, 1944, when Garbo convinced the Germans that the Allied forces approaching Normandy were just a feint - the real invasion would come at Calais.
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Good story, writing overly dramatic
- By Matthew on 08-13-13
By: Stephan Talty
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Light and Shadow
- Memoirs of a Spy's Son
- By: Mark Colvin
- Narrated by: Mark Colvin
- Length: 13 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Mark Colvin is a broadcasting legend. He is the voice of ABC Radio’s leading current affairs program PM; he was a founding broadcaster for the groundbreaking youth station Double J; he initiated The World Today program; and he’s one of the most popular and influential journalists in the twittersphere. Mark has been covering local and global events for more than four decades. He has reported on wars, royal weddings and everything in between. In the midst of all this he discovered that his father was an MI6 spy.
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Probably of most interest to Australian readers
- By Robyn on 04-12-17
By: Mark Colvin
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Red Moon Rising
- Sputnik and the Hidden Rivals That Ignited the Space Age
- By: Matthew Brzezinski
- Narrated by: Charles Stransky
- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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On October 4, 1957, a time of Cold War paranoia, the Soviet Union secretly launched the Earth's first artificial moon. No bigger than a basketball, the tiny satellite was powered by a car battery. Yet, for all its simplicity, Sputnik stunned the world.
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awesome
- By Thomas on 06-25-09
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King of Spies
- The Dark Reign of America's Spymaster in Korea
- By: Blaine Harden
- Narrated by: Mark Bramhall
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1946, Master Sergeant Donald Nichols was repairing jeeps on the sleepy island of Guam when he caught the eye of recruiters from the army's Counter Intelligence Corps. After just three months' training, he was sent to Korea, then a backwater beneath the radar of MacArthur's Pacific Command. Though he lacked the pedigree of most US spies - Nichols was a seventh-grade dropout - he quickly metamorphosed from army mechanic to black ops phenomenon.
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Unplayable recording
- By Lin Tin-tin on 10-18-24
By: Blaine Harden
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The Glory and the Dream
- A Narrative History of America, 1932 - 1972
- By: William Manchester
- Narrated by: Jeff Riggenbach
- Length: 57 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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This great time capsule of a book captures the abundant popular history of the United States from 1932 to 1972. It encompasses politics, military history, economics, the lively arts, science, fashion, fads, social change, sexual mores, communications, graffiti...everything and anything indigenous that can be captured in print.
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Fabulous book, good narration, bad recording
- By Paula on 07-10-08
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Operation Snow
- How a Soviet Mole in FDR’s White House Triggered Pearl Harbor
- By: John Koster
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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On December 7, 1941, the nation of Japan attacked Pearl Harbor and prompted the United States’ entry into the bloodiest war in human history. Americans have long debated the cause of the bombing; many have argued that the attack was a brilliant Japanese military coup or a failure of US intelligence agencies or even a conspiracy of the Roosevelt administration. But despite the attention historians have paid to the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the truth about that fateful day has remained a mystery - until now.
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PUT IT IN THE FILE BLAMING FDR FOR PEARL HARBOR
- By Ron on 11-21-20
By: John Koster
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Grey Wolf
- The Escape of Adolf Hitler
- By: Simon Dunstan, Gerrard Williams
- Narrated by: Don Hagen
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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When Truman asked Stalin in 1945 whether Hitler was dead, Stalin replied bluntly, "No." As late as 1952, Eisenhower declared: "We have been unable to unearth one bit of tangible evidence of Hitler's death." What really happened? Simon Dunstan and Gerrard Williams have compiled extensive evidence - some recently declassified - that Hitler actually fled Berlin and took refuge in a remote Nazi enclave in Argentina.
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Intriguing and Utterly Engrossing!
- By morton on 10-27-11
By: Simon Dunstan, and others
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The Man Without a Face
- The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin
- By: Masha Gessen
- Narrated by: Masha Gessen
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Man Without a Face is the chilling account of how a low-level, small-minded KGB operative ascended to the Russian presidency and, in an astonishingly short time, destroyed years of progress and made his country once more a threat to its own people and to the world.
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A Preview of Authoritarianism in the USA
- By Jimmy O on 06-08-19
By: Masha Gessen
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Cartoons mentioned in Publisher's Summary omitted
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The Real Life of a Roman Gladiator
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Spice
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Spices drove the early modern world economy, and for Europeans they represented riches on an unprecedented scale. Cloves and nutmeg could reach Europe only via a complex web of trade routes, and for decades Spanish and Portuguese explorers competed to find their elusive source. But when the Portuguese finally reached the spice islands of the Moluccas in 1511, they set in motion a fierce competition for control.
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Spice or Megellan?
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The Oregon Trail
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Francis Parkman's journal - written more than 150 years ago, in 1846 - provides an eye-witness account of one of the grandest adventures in American history. At age 23, the Harvard-educated Bostonian traveled the Rocky Mountains, living among the Dakota Sioux. In his journal, he captured the color, spirit, and perspective of his era, as well as the exuberant confidence that was the mark of his time. Frank Muller's dramatic reading brings this captivating record to life.
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Among the finest works of American literature
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What listeners say about Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ryan Tate
- 05-25-21
Starts better than it ends
The book starts with some really interesting what if and near misses of history. It’s pretty amazing how many things almost happened or almost didn’t happen. However, as the book goes on it gets less interesting. In the second half it devolves more into minor anecdotes that just don’t seem to hold a lot of wait.
Also if you’re not from the UK you might be a little lost in some of the sports stories and business ideas
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3 people found this helpful
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- DM
- 02-23-21
Haha, very entertaining
Who says history is boring? What a fun and entertaining look at events in history. A very good "who knew" book. Fun from start to end! enjoy!
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- Nathaniel
- 01-31-23
Very interesting
If you love, random bits of wacky information, this is definitely the book for you!
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- Scott Beer
- 11-08-23
Excellent
Astounding look. I loved it. All 3 times that I listened to. I recommend it strongly.
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- Quality Conscious Doug
- 02-05-24
Well written, and well read by the reader.
Revealed many surprising twists and turns that shaped our History yet are not widely known. Very informative and entertaining.
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- Crochet -0 Cats -1
- 05-16-24
Great book! So many weird facts!
Who knew Napoleon had hemorrhoids and someone’s job was to apply leeches to them! So many odd facts!
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- Morticia Mave
- 02-21-21
A list would have saved me time, annoyance and a dose of unnecessary homophobia.
Perhaps other reviews can address the later 2/3 of this hurried and poorly connected manner in which these facts are revealed. There is little structure to theme and the author adds in armchair commentary that is perhaps intended to add humor but falls flat.
After some reading, I eventually decided to quit as I felt the author added unnecessary commentary and wordage to suggest certain orientations or consensual actions as objectively reprehensible rather than something seen as frowned upon at the time.
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- Garlic Fries
- 02-11-24
Not a fan of the narration technique on this one
The book has a weird, disorganized structure to begin with, but better narration would have helped. In particular I wish he would have paused or at least taken a breath between the brief “stories.” There were a lot of interesting, fun facts, but they could have been easier to listen to and follow.
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- John Pistone
- 04-01-21
fantastic
ill be listening to this again. fantastic source of information that can make you the star at any party
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- Paul Z
- 02-22-21
This book will make you irritating
This is one of those books that fills your head with so many interesting facts and stories that you will drive your friends crazy repeating them all.. The book contains hundreds of tales about little unknown instances that helped shape history for better and for worse. There are many unsung heroes in this book from the German soldier who saved Paris to the British spies who tricked FDR into going to war with a counterfeit map.
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