No One Leaves the Castle Audiobook By Christopher Healy cover art

No One Leaves the Castle

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No One Leaves the Castle

By: Christopher Healy
Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
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About this listen

The Brothers Grimm meets Knives Out in this unexpected, hilarious, and wholly original fantasy-murder-mystery.

The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve.

None of that is true. Yet.

In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But the Lilac has set her goals on becoming the best bounty hunter in the Thirteen Kingdoms—and when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta are eager to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.

But when their investigation brings them to a dinner party at Castle Angbar, and they meet the Angbar family and their servants and guests—an unsavory group of nobles, mages, and assorted creatures, each more shady than the last—the Lilac begins to wonder if the reward is worth the trouble.

And that’s before the dead body is discovered.

Now, everyone is magically sealed inside the castle—and there is a murderer among them. If the Lilac wants to make it out with her reputation intact, it’s going to be up to her to figure out who the killer is. But everyone in the castle—even the Lilac herself—has secrets to hide, and as the walls literally start to close in around them, the Lilac worries that her first job as a bounty hunter may be her last…

©2023 Christopher Healy (P)2023 HarperCollins Publishers
Fairy Tales, Folk Tales & Myths Fantasy Fantasy & Magic Fiction Mysteries Funny Witty
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What listeners say about No One Leaves the Castle

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Amazing

This was an excellent mystery story with a fantasy twist the characters were great and the story had the right amount of humor and drama.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Cheeky and fun

This was a delightful tale of stolen kitchenware, delicious cream puffs, and a nefarious ferret.
Oh, and also a tale of a 14 year old bounty hunter, her bard, and a castle full of suspects.

It was free of cussing, sex, politics, and religion. There’s treatment of classism, blackmail, and
murder most foul … at kid-friendly levels, like the game Clue, where the focus is not on the deed
but on the whodunnit.

I avoid this narrator for adult listens, but she’s perfect for the frisky, overly emoted characters.
I also would have liked a bit more magic or magical creatures, especially with the majority of the story confined to the castle. These are minor criticisms, however. Overall, this is a great book for my kids.

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3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Unexpected, funny, enjoyable story

I really enjoyed this story. It was funny, unexpected, and excellent at calling out foolish politics. Our heroine decides she wants to be a bounty hunter and ends up trapped in a castle with a murderer on the loose. Once that happens she decides to become a detective. Goofy mayhem ensues while the heroine tries to figure out the many loose threads of what's going on while trying to figure out who the culprit is.

I loved the story, got completely into it, and plan to look up the author's other books.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Empowering story!

Humor, twists and turns, writing. Very fun tale for all! Read it with your kids.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and clean mystery for the whole family

Oh my goodness- I’m the mother of two boys and stumbled on this as a recommendation after listening to another book. And MAN am I glad!! I found myself laughing out loud and trying to figure out WHODUNNIT the whole time. I love the twists and goofy shenanigans.
The narrator is amazing- we’ve listened to her for The Book Scavenger series. She didn’t disappoint for this one either! If you have elementary to middle school kids, please listen to this together. There is a little violence- I mean, someone does die. But you know your kids. I did this as a preview (we’ve gotten burned on a few that seemed appropriate and definitely weren’t) and I HIGHLY recommend this! I wish there were more with this group of characters!!

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1 person found this helpful

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Excellent

Christopher Healey does it again...very fun and entertain8ng story. I enjoyed it very much...

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Great story and hilarious characters!

I loved the humor and witicism! I hope there are more stories of the lilac!

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    1 out of 5 stars
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This person is "leaving the castle!"

Horribly written and horribly narrated. It is most unfortunate that I purchased this book on sale instead of using a credit, because it appears that I am stuck with it. I suppose I should just be thankful I'm only out $6.99. I've been a member of Audible for 12 years and I think this policy is blatantly unfair. Perhaps I will file a complaint with my state attorney general. In any event, don't waste your money or your credits on this book. I'm not sure why the reviews say it is excellent.

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