Raised in Captivity
Fictional Nonfiction
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By:
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Chuck Klosterman
About this listen
Microdoses of the straight dope, stories so true they had to be wrapped in fiction for our own protection, from the best-selling author of But What if We're Wrong?
A man flying first class discovers a puma in the lavatory. A new coach of a small-town Oklahoma high school football team installs an offense comprised of only one very special play. A man explains to the police why he told the employee of his local bodega that his colleague looked like the lead singer of Depeche Mode, a statement that may or may not have led in some way to a violent crime.
A college professor discusses with his friend his difficulties with the new generation of students. An obscure power pop band wrestles with its newfound fame when its song "Blizzard of Summer" becomes an anthem for white supremacists. A couple considers getting a medical procedure that will transfer the pain of childbirth from the woman to her husband. A woman interviews a hit man about killing her husband but is shocked by the method he proposes.
A man is recruited to join a secret government research team investigating why coin flips are no longer exactly 50/50. A man sees a whale struck by lightning and knows that everything about his life has to change. A lawyer grapples with the unintended side effects of a veterinarian's rabies vaccination.
Fair warning: Raised in Captivity does not slot into a smooth preexisting groove. If Saul Steinberg and Italo Calvino had adopted a child from a Romanian orphanage and raised him on Gary Larsen and Thomas Bernhard, he would still be nothing like Chuck Klosterman. They might be good company, though.
Funny, wise and weird in equal measure, Raised in Captivity bids fair to be one of the most original and exciting story collections in recent memory, a fever graph of our deepest unvoiced hopes, fears and preoccupations. Ceaselessly inventive, hostile to corniness in all its forms, and mean only to the things that really deserve it, it marks a cosmic leap forward for one of our most consistently interesting writers.
Read by Chuck Klosterman, James Urbaniak, Bill Wise, Eddie Huang, Jon Wurster, H. Jon Benjamin, Jon Dolan, Mike Birbiglia, Kurt Loder, John Hodgman, Sloane Crosley, Chris Gethard, Will Brill, Dennis Boutsikaris, Melissa Maerz, Jeremy Bobb, Scott Shepherd, Brent Musburger, and Vincent Kartheiser.
©2019 Chuck Klosterman (P)2019 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Therapist Victoria Vick is contacted by a cryptic, unlikable man who insists his situation is unique and unfathomable. Vick becomes convinced that he suffers from a complex set of delusions: Y__, as she refers to him, claims to be a scientist who has stolen cloaking technology from an aborted government project in order to render himself nearly invisible. Unsure of his motives or honesty, Vick becomes obsessed with her patient....
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Hillarious & Disturbing In (almost) Equal Measure
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Downtown Owl
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Somewhere in North Dakota, there is a town called Owl that isn't there. Disco is over, but punk never happened. They don't have cable. They don't really have pop culture, unless you count grain prices and alcoholism. People work hard and then they die. They hate the government and impregnate teenage girls. But that's not nearly as awful as it sounds; in fact, sometimes it's perfect.
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A Great Listen
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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Book 1
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Overall
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Performance
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Harry Potter has never even heard of Hogwarts when the letters start dropping on the doormat at number four, Privet Drive. Addressed in green ink on yellowish parchment with a purple seal, they are swiftly confiscated by his grisly aunt and uncle. Then, on Harry's eleventh birthday, a great beetle-eyed giant of a man called Rubeus Hagrid bursts in with some astonishing news: Harry Potter is a wizard, and he has a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. An incredible adventure is about to begin!
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A great reading of the wrong book
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By: J.K. Rowling
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Yearbook
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Overall
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Performance
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Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
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Good until it turned political
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By: Seth Rogen
Critic reviews
“A multitude of clever scenarios.... In these 34 stories, most featuring a hilarious denouement, [Klosterman] takes on racism, diets, cults, white privilege, and life with Trump as president.... No matter the topic, Klosterman’s gimlet eye and trenchant prose bedazzle.” (Publishers Weekly)
“This is the kind of strange, sharply detailed and often slyly funny examination of cultural behavior and norms [Klosterman] does unlike anyone else.... Consider these stories the products of the kind of specific, unexpectedly divergent conversations that can come up between old friends as the hours grow late.” (Los Angeles Times)
“Acidly funny.... Armed with everything from existential crises to a robot dinosaur, there’s really something for everyone in this crisp collection of imaginative snippets. A colorful, somewhat wicked collection of stories that are touching as often as they are laugh-out-loud funny.” (Kirkus Reviews)
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Dr. No
- A Novel
- By: Percival Everett
- Narrated by: Amir Abdullah
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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The protagonist of Percival Everett's puckish new novel is a brilliant professor of mathematics who goes by Wala Kitu. (Wala, he explains, means "nothing" in Tagalog, and Kitu is Swahili for "nothing.") He is an expert on nothing. That is to say, he is an expert, and his area of study is nothing, and he does nothing about it.
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(Ian Fleming + Vonnegut) +/- J-P Sartre = 0
- By Darwin8u on 10-30-24
By: Percival Everett
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Comedy Sex God
- By: Pete Holmes
- Narrated by: Pete Holmes
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Part autobiography, part philosophical inquiry, part sacred quest - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck for the spiritual seeker - a hilarious, profound, and enlightening romp around the fertile mind of standout stand-up comedian, host of the hugely successful podcast You Made It Weird, and star of HBO’s Crashing Pete Holmes.
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Mixed bag
- By Brandon on 06-20-19
By: Pete Holmes
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Members Only
- By: Sameer Pandya
- Narrated by: Sunil Malhotra
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Raj Bhatt is often unsure of where he belongs. Having moved to America from Bombay as a child, he knew few Indian kids. Now middle-aged, he lives mostly happily in California with a job at a university. Still, his white wife seems to fit in better than he does at times, especially at their tennis club, a place he's cautiously come to love. But it's there that, in one week, his life unravels. It begins at a meeting for potential new members: Raj thrills to find an African American couple on the list; he dreams of a more diverse club. But in an effort to connect, he makes a racist joke.
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Stick with it... so worth it!
- By Andrea R Martinez on 09-02-20
By: Sameer Pandya
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Familyhood
- By: Paul Reiser
- Narrated by: Paul Reiser
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In Familyhood, Reiser shares his observations on parenting, marriage, and mid-life with the wit, warmth, and humor that he’s so well-known for. From the first experience of sending his two boys off to summer camp to maneuvering the minefield of bad words learned at school, this hilarious new book captures the spirit of familyhood, the logical next frontier for Reiser’s trademark perspective on the universal truths of life, love, and relationships.
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Witty and warm, a pleasurable read
- By Frank on 06-03-11
By: Paul Reiser
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
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A Town Divided by Christmas
- By: Orson Scott Card, Claire Bloom - director
- Narrated by: Emily Rankin
- Length: 2 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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It began with a quarrel over which newborn should be the baby Jesus in the town's Christmas pageant. Decades later, two scientists arrive to study small-town genetic patterns, only to run up against the invisible walls that split the leading citizens into two congregations that can only be joined by love and forgiveness - and maybe a little deception, because there might be some things people just don't need to know.
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Just what I wanted...
- By Lonnie-The GreatNorthernTroll-Moore on 12-25-18
By: Orson Scott Card, and others
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And When She Was Good
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Heloise considers it a blessing to be a person who seldom attracts attention. In her suburb, she's just a mom, the young widow with the forgettable job, who somehow never misses a soccer game. In the state capital, she's the redheaded lobbyist with a good cause and a mediocre track record. But in discreet hotel rooms throughout the area, she's the woman of your dreams - if you can afford the hourly fee. For more than a decade, Heloise believed she was safe, managing to keep up this rigidly compartmentalized life. But her secret life is under siege. One county over, another so-called suburban madam has been found dead in her car, an apparent suicide.
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And When She Was Bad...
- By Carole T. on 08-18-12
By: Laura Lippman
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Road Dog
- Life and Reflections from the Road as a Stand-up Comic
- By: Dov Davidoff
- Narrated by: Dov Davidoff
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Road Dog is comedian, actor, and writer, Dov Davidoff's unflinching memoir told through reflections of twelve months on the road. Davidoff travels across the country from college campuses to local theaters doing stand-up comedy and telling it like it is. He's been known to wax poetic about everything from encounters with large fake breasts, to people who have too many kids, to magnum condoms the size of CD cases. He is hilarious and relatable and will have you laughing at yourself in no time.
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dark, real, & exceptional
- By Luis F Rodriguez on 11-22-17
By: Dov Davidoff
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Wilde Lake
- A Novel
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney, Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Luisa "Lu" Brant is the newly elected - and first female - state's attorney of Howard County, Maryland, a job in which her widower father famously served. Fiercely intelligent and ambitious, she sees an opportunity to make her name by trying a mentally disturbed drifter accused of beating a woman to death in her home. It's not the kind of case that makes headlines, but peaceful Howard County doesn't see many homicides.
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In a word saccharine and boring
- By Rena on 05-12-16
By: Laura Lippman
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Radio Free Albemuth
- By: Philip K. Dick
- Narrated by: Jeff Cummings, Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In Radio Free Albemuth, his last novel, Philip K. Dick morphed and recombined themes that had informed his fiction from A Scanner Darkly to VALIS and produced a wild, impassioned work that sounds like a visionary alternate history of the United States. Agonizingly suspenseful, darkly hilarious, and filled with enough conspiracy theories to thrill the most hardened paranoid, Radio Free Albemuth is proof of Dick's stature as our century's greatest science fiction writer.
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The Pistol to the Head
- By Darwin8u on 01-02-17
By: Philip K. Dick
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Lost and Found
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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That's the question that has haunted 14-year-old Ezekiel Blast all his life. But he's not a thief, he just has a talent for finding things. Not a superpower - a micropower. Because what good is finding lost bicycles and hair scrunchies, especially when you return them to their owners and everyone thinks you must have stolen them in the first place? If only there were some way to use Ezekiel's micropower for good, to turn a curse into a blessing. His friend Beth thinks there must be, and so does a police detective investigating the disappearance of a little girl.
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Good book from a great Author
- By Jim on 03-30-21
By: Orson Scott Card
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On Borrowed Time
- By: David Rosenfelt
- Narrated by: Chris Ensweiler
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Richard Kilmer is head over heels in love with Jennifer Ryan, who takes him home to meet her parents, where she accepts his marriage proposal. While visiting, they set out on a nostalgic drive up to Kendrick Falls. On their way, a freak storm rolls in, Richard loses control of his car, and it rolls. When the storm clears in a matter of seconds, Jen is gone. Richard can't find her, and neither can the police who respond to the scene.
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Not enough dogs!
- By Rowan Mangan on 09-18-11
By: David Rosenfelt
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Father Fiction
- Chapters for a Fatherless Generation
- By: Donald Miller
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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A memoir with a message, this audiobook shares the angst of a boy growing up without a father and how he found his way.
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Should make it clear this is a religious book
- By Victoria on 05-10-19
By: Donald Miller
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Another bad review for the narrator
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It was long ago, but not as long as it seems: The Berlin Wall fell and the Twin Towers collapsed. In between, one presidential election was allegedly decided by Ross Perot while another was plausibly decided by Ralph Nader. Landlines fell to cell phones, the internet exploded, and pop culture accelerated without the aid of technology that remembered everything. It was the last era with a real mainstream to either identify with or oppose. The ’90s brought about a revolution in the human condition, and a shift in consciousness, that we’re still struggling to understand.
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Therapist Victoria Vick is contacted by a cryptic, unlikable man who insists his situation is unique and unfathomable. Vick becomes convinced that he suffers from a complex set of delusions: Y__, as she refers to him, claims to be a scientist who has stolen cloaking technology from an aborted government project in order to render himself nearly invisible. Unsure of his motives or honesty, Vick becomes obsessed with her patient....
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Hillarious & Disturbing In (almost) Equal Measure
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Eating the Dinosaur
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In Eating the Dinosaur, Klosterman is more entertaining and incisive than ever. Whether he's dissecting the boredom of voyeurism, the reason why music fan's inevitably hate their favorite band's latest album, or why we love watching can't-miss superstars fail spectacularly, Klosterman remains obsessed with the relationship between expectation, reality, and living history. It's amateur anthropology for the present tense, and sometimes it's incredibly funny.
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Brilliant Way To Spend 6.5 Hours
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I Wear the Black Hat
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In I Wear the Black Hat, Klosterman questions the very nature of how modern people understand the concept of villainy. What was so Machiavellian about Machiavelli? Why don't we see Batman the same way we see Bernhard Goetz? Who's more worthy of our vitriol - Bill Clinton or Don Henley? What was O.J. Simpson's second-worst decision? Masterfully blending cultural analysis with self-interrogation and limitless imagination, I Wear the Black Hat delivers perceptive observations on the complexity of the anti-hero.
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My Favorite Writer Falls a Little Short...
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Chuck Klosterman IV
- A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas
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Chuck Klosterman IV consists of three parts:
THINGS THAT ARE TRUE
Profiles and trend stories: Britney Spears, Val Kilmer, McDonalds, '70s rock band nostalgia cruises. With new introductions and asides.
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9.6 out of 10
- By Nils J. Rasmussen on 01-23-13
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Another bad review for the narrator
- By Matty N on 06-13-16
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A Very White Middle-class Take On The Nineties
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Therapist Victoria Vick is contacted by a cryptic, unlikable man who insists his situation is unique and unfathomable. Vick becomes convinced that he suffers from a complex set of delusions: Y__, as she refers to him, claims to be a scientist who has stolen cloaking technology from an aborted government project in order to render himself nearly invisible. Unsure of his motives or honesty, Vick becomes obsessed with her patient....
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Hillarious & Disturbing In (almost) Equal Measure
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Eating the Dinosaur
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In Eating the Dinosaur, Klosterman is more entertaining and incisive than ever. Whether he's dissecting the boredom of voyeurism, the reason why music fan's inevitably hate their favorite band's latest album, or why we love watching can't-miss superstars fail spectacularly, Klosterman remains obsessed with the relationship between expectation, reality, and living history. It's amateur anthropology for the present tense, and sometimes it's incredibly funny.
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Brilliant Way To Spend 6.5 Hours
- By Nils J. Rasmussen on 06-21-13
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9.6 out of 10
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Killing Yourself to Live
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For 6,557 miles, Chuck Klosterman thought about dying. He drove a rental car from New York to Rhode Island to Georgia to Mississippi to Iowa to Minneapolis to Fargo to Seattle, and he chased death and rock 'n' roll all the way. Within the span of 21 days, Chuck had three relationships end, one by choice, one by chance, and one by exhaustion. He snorted cocaine in a graveyard. He walked a half-mile through a bean field.
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Good, But Not What I Expected
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Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs
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From the kid who brought you Fargo Rock City, the first book in history to garner the praise of Stephen King, David Byrne, Donna Gaines, Sebastian Bach, Jonathan Lethem, and Rivers Cuomo, comes Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, the first book in history to examine breakfast cereal, reality television, tribute bands, Internet porn, serial killers, and the Dixie Chicks.
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A Brilliant Manifesto
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Chuck Klosterman X
- The Audio Companion to a Highly Specific and Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century
- By: Chuck Klosterman
- Narrated by: Chuck Klosterman
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author and cultural critic Chuck Klosterman presents a unique Audio Companion for Chuck Klosterman X, in which he contextualizes and reads from the collection of his best articles and essays, providing both a fascinating tour of the past decade and an ideal introduction to the mind of one of the sharpest and most prolific observers of our unusual times.
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Buyer Beware
- By Jim Myers on 05-16-17
By: Chuck Klosterman
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Downtown Owl
- A Novel
- By: Chuck Klosterman
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- Unabridged
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Somewhere in North Dakota, there is a town called Owl that isn't there. Disco is over, but punk never happened. They don't have cable. They don't really have pop culture, unless you count grain prices and alcoholism. People work hard and then they die. They hate the government and impregnate teenage girls. But that's not nearly as awful as it sounds; in fact, sometimes it's perfect.
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A Great Listen
- By Harry on 02-21-09
By: Chuck Klosterman
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There Was Nothing You Could Do
- Bruce Springsteen's “Born in the U.S.A.” and the End of the Heartland
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
On June 4, 1984, Columbia Records issued what would become one of the best-selling and most impactful rock albums of all time. An instant classic, Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the U.S.A. would prove itself to be a landmark not only for the man who made it, but rock music in general, and even the larger American culture over the next 40 years.
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Reads like a college term paper
- By Jeremy on 10-26-24
By: Steven Hyden
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Sellout
- The Major-Label Feeding Frenzy That Swept Punk, Emo, and Hardcore (1994–2007)
- By: Dan Ozzi
- Narrated by: Chris Abell
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- Unabridged
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Seasoned music writer Dan Ozzi chronicles this embattled era in punk. Focusing on eleven prominent bands who made the jump from indie to major, Sellout charts the twists and turns of the last “gold rush” of the music industry, where some groups “sold out” and rose to surprise super stardom, while others buckled under mounting pressures. Sellout is both a gripping history of the music industry’s evolution, and a punk rock lover’s guide to the chaotic darlings of the post-grunge era.
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A pedant’s note
- By Luke on 11-21-21
By: Dan Ozzi
What listeners say about Raised in Captivity
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Nils J. Rasmussen
- 12-27-20
Really REALLY good book
I wasn't too impressed with Klosterman's other fiction, "Downtown Owl" nor "The Visible Man", but this blew me away. My only complaint is that I wish it were longer, which could be taken as praise as well I guess.
I highly recommend you check this one out.
9.5 / 10.0
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2 people found this helpful
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- S
- 07-19-19
love Klosterman!
Short stories that make you reflect on our modern age. I've liked some of his other books more, but this was highly enjoyable. There was a point in the book where either a direction or something can be heard talking instead of the narrator.
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- Randal Hall
- 07-22-19
Pretty Good
I prefer when Chuck reads the entire book. But most of the performances were solid.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Kindle Customer
- 11-01-20
Wandering Mind Fodder
The value of the book is the creation of an environment that allows your mind to wander rather than the substance of the stories themselves. Loved the degree to which I questioned me own beliefs as an outgrowth of the stories being told.
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3 people found this helpful
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- chris golz
- 11-17-20
a Book that you can listen to like a record
After listening to this once through and getting lots of laughs along the way I started listening to this at night to help relax before bed, on the car on road trips, and on the background while doing chores. I also use it in my classroom with my students for inspiration and conversation.
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2 people found this helpful
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- S Gee
- 01-20-20
Hurry up and Read
Not sure how well this book will age but it is one of the most relevant and contemporary collection-short stories. Some of them will sit with you and some you forget as you are hearing them but it leaves readers smirking, wincing, or empathizing the whole time.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Buretto
- 05-28-21
Finding the mundane in the mundane.
If social commentary were bubble gum. Some good ideas, a few stories have potential, but eventually you end up chewing the same stale piece of gum. Absurdity for the sake of absurdity at times, no underlying theme, or heaven forbid, wit. Mostly social observations the listener wishes would go somewhere, rather than regurgitate feeble pop culture references and old worn-out tropes. Who knew listening to Morrissey was synonymous with depression? I wonder why nobody ever came up with that idea before. Not really even worth the time to be a bridge book to something better.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Austin Pierce
- 07-30-19
Two Favorite Stories: Fluke & Of Course It Is
This is an odd one. I gave up on it and came back.
Most stories involve death. Many involve suicide. They are often humorous, but bleak.
At first it felt like these lyrics:
“Cool blue reason empties on the page. Your colleagues are in prison and your enemies enraged. Cool blue reason comes into your world. There's two more dead in Texas and it's probably your girls.” - Cake
Then it felt like Black Mirror.
Then, after reading it all, I’d sum it up this way:
“And something is happening here but you don't know what it is. Do you, Mr. Jones?” - Bob Dylan
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10 people found this helpful
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- Goddess Beautii
- 07-17-19
Makes you think
The stories are ridiculous but they make you think about the true possibilities of life
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2 people found this helpful
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- D. R. Hooper
- 08-12-19
Thought provoking AND utterly stupid
I love Chuck and many of his strange stories but these were all so pointless that I sighed in distress after completing almost every one of them.
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