Sex, Sin, and Zen
A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between
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Narrated by:
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Brad Warner
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By:
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Brad Warner
About this listen
With his one-of-a kind blend of autobiography, pop culture, and plainspoken Buddhism, Brad Warner explores an A-to-Z of sexual topics; from masturbation to dating, gender identity to pornography.
In addition to approaching sexuality from a Buddhist perspective, he looks at Buddhism - emptiness, compassion, karma - from a sexual vantage. Throughout, he stares down the tough questions: Can prostitution be "right livelihood"? Can a good spiritual master also be really, really bad? And ultimately, what's love got to do with any of it?
While no puritan when it comes to non-vanilla sexuality, Warner offers a conscious approach to sexual ethics and intimacy; real-world wisdom for our times.
©2010 Brad Warner (P)2017 Brad WarnerListeners also enjoyed...
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Very Basic, kinda irritating
- By Everyatom on 03-10-18
By: Ruby Warrington
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Love Hurts
- Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken
- By: Lodro Rinzler
- Narrated by: Lodro Rinzler
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Buddhism has a lot to say about suffering - and there are likely few times we suffer more intensely than when we break up with a romantic partner. It feels like you may never recover sometimes. But Lodro Rinzler has wonderfully good news for those suffering heartbreak: The 2,500-year-old teachings of the Buddha are the ultimate antidote for emotional pain. And you don't need to be a Buddhist for them to apply to you.
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I agree...
- By Amazon Customer on 03-20-20
By: Lodro Rinzler
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Backbone
- The Modern Man's Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power
- By: David H. Wagner
- Narrated by: David H. Wagner
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it mean to be a powerful, happy man in today's world? What does it take for a man to know himself, know his mission in life, and live a life of strength, honour and wisdom? In Backbone, the modern man finally has a self-help audiobook worthy of his masculinity. This audiobook won't ask you to get in touch with your feminine side if you want to embrace change. It's a straight-talking, down-to-earth and funny guide to get you working with your masculinity instead of against it.
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Not for me
- By Ben W on 09-01-16
By: David H. Wagner
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Paths to God
- Living the Bhagavad Gita
- By: Ram Dass
- Narrated by: Paul Brion
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Now, in a fascinating series of reflections, anecdotes, stories, and exercises, Ram Dass gives us a unique and accessible road map for experiencing divinity in everyday life. In the engaging, conversational style that has made his teachings so popular for decades, Ram Dass traces our journey of consciousness as it is reflected in one of Hinduism's most sacred texts. The Gita teaches a system of yogas, or "paths for coming to union with God."
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Well, I guess that's this books work taken care of
- By Jeremy Teeter on 11-30-17
By: Ram Dass
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The Dharma of the Princess Bride
- What the Coolest Fairy Tale of Our Time Can Teach Us About Buddhism and Relationships
- By: Ethan Nichtern
- Narrated by: Ethan Nichtern
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Humorous yet spiritually rigorous, drawing from pop culture and from personal experience, The Dharma of "The Princess Bride" teaches us how to understand and navigate our most important personal relationships from a 21st-century Buddhist perspective. Friendship. Romance. Family. These are the three areas Ethan Nichtern delves into, taking as departure points the indelible characters - Westley, Fezzik, Vizzini, Count Rugen, Princess Buttercup, and others from Rob Reiner's perennially popular film.
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A fun and refreshing take on Buddhism
- By Oak Grove on 12-06-17
By: Ethan Nichtern
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The Conversation
- How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
- By: Harper Hill
- Narrated by: Kevin Free
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
- By Nevada on 08-13-10
By: Harper Hill
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How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People)
- Spiritual Advice for Modern Relationships
- By: Lodro Rinzler, Meggan Watterson
- Narrated by: Lodro Rinzler, Meggan Watterson
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People) is a smart, hip guide for spiritual seekers who want to experience more love and stability in all forms of relationships. Told from the unique vantage points of authors Meggan Watterson and Lodro Rinzler, this book explores staying anchored in the foundation of self-love as you navigate the natural (and often stormy) cycle of a relationship. Their dual perspectives as teachers and scholars of Christian mysticism and Buddhism make for a rich and fascinating dialogue that covers everything from sex to breakups.
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Felt shallow and not quite on-topic
- By barefoot rabbit on 09-03-20
By: Lodro Rinzler, and others
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Loveability
- By: Robert Holden Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Robert Holden Ph.D.
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Loveability is a meditation on love. It addresses the most important thing you will ever learn. All the happiness, health, and abundance you experience in life comes from your ability to love and be loved. This ability is innate, not acquired. Robert Holden is the creator of a unique program on love called Loveability, which he teaches worldwide. He has helped thousands of people to transform their experience of love. “Love is the real work of your life,” says Robert. “As you release the blocks to love you flourish even more in your relationships, work, and life.”
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Absolutely INCREDIBLE; Life Changing!!!!
- By Beth M on 08-08-18
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Super You
- Release Your Inner Superhero
- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
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Finding Your Own North Star
- Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Stars and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.
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Narration not for me
- By MARYANN ORDONEZ on 10-02-17
By: Martha Beck
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The Road Home
- A Contemporary Exploration of the Buddhist Path
- By: Ethan Nichtern
- Narrated by: Ethan Nichtern
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you feel at home right now? Or do you sense a hovering anxiety or uncertainty, an underlying unease that makes you feel just a bit uncomfortable, a bit distracted and disconnected from those around you? In The Road Home, Ethan Nichtern, a senior teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist tradition, investigates the journey each of us takes to find where we belong.
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How can you pass this up?
- By Amy Minutillo on 04-08-16
By: Ethan Nichtern
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Good Without God
- What a Billion Nonreligious People Do Believe
- By: Greg Epstein
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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A provocative and positive response to Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and other New Atheists, Good Without God makes a bold claim for what nonbelievers do share and believe. Epstein's Good Without God provides a constructive, challenging response to these manifestos by getting to the heart of Humanism and its positive belief in tolerance, community, morality, and good without having to rely on the guidance of a higher being.
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Speaker sounds too robotic
- By Lisa S. on 08-27-21
By: Greg Epstein
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Great insights in a fun way
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Clear understanding with colorful personality
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An Introduction and and Extension to Earlier Works
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Big fan of Brad Warner
- By Amazon Customer on 06-08-22
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Still excellent but I see a flaw
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What listeners say about Sex, Sin, and Zen
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Eric
- 03-05-19
love the style of the author.
definitely gave me new perspective on some things. Lots of food for thoughts. I admire directness in his style.
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- Marcellus christie
- 03-07-19
Best Audible purchase so far!
Absolutley fantastic. I'd even say revolutionary
The use of humor, history, personal ideas as well as the acknowledgment on the pros and cons of more institutionalized ideas made this book truly profound.
You may not agree with everything, nor does it encourage you to, but theres no way one could listen to this and not grow exponentially ♥
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- Jeff Porter
- 06-14-23
I liky long time
My favorite “Buddhist” writer 🤘, yes he is it’s true oh yes he really is that’s right
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- Boukman Bastia
- 10-22-20
instant Classic
A wonderful book,the author was funny and insightful,got me hooked from the start.It made it even better that he read it himself.
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- JK
- 08-20-24
EXCELLENT
Another excellent book written and narrated by Brad Warner.
It is refreshing to read a “sensible “ book about sex, after all it is an important part of “life” , no pun intended.
His take on sex, the openness is so refreshing.
I grew up in Europe and did not come to the US until I was 21, that was in 1959.
Even that long ago the attitude towards sex and homosexuality was already very open (at least that is how I grew up).
This is a book I highly recommend.
I still have a few books by Brad Warner to listen to and am looking forward to them.
My thanks to all involved, JK.
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- Michael
- 05-25-22
Not for recovering sex addicts.
I am a huge fan of Brad Warner. He was one of the major reasons I got into Zen. I just love his fresh, modern voice. I have always been apprehensive about listening to this book however based on his previous comments about sex. I got the sense that he was largely "sex positive," or at the very least, neutral about most sexual activities.
I was hoping that he was going to do one of his (and Zen in generals) bait and switches; that is to say something like, "It's all good, just consider X, Y, and Z." To a point, he does kind of do this, but it leans too neutral. Around the same time I got into Zen, I became sober from pornography addiction. An addiction that utterly destroyed my life, and was heading towards something I probably would not have been able to come back from.
Warner's main conclusion is that it is in fact, all good. As long as we remain thankful for how lucky we are to even experience sex, and obviously make sure no one is being harmed. Warner is very lucky to not have a sex addiction. I can tell because he able to live a productive life. He mentions that on occasion, he looks at some pictures of naked woman.
He claims that sometimes it's okay to watch porn in order to relieve sexual desire. I hate to jump on this train of reviews that say that Warner did not educate himself before writing this book, but you don't even have to spend too much time on Google to learn that watching porn makes you want to watch more porn. It is similar to gambling; winning makes you want to keep playing.
I am not saying that porn is evil and no one should ever watch it, I actually agree with Warner in that for most people (good studies haven't been published on this) can enjoy some porn every once in a while, and walk away without thinking much about it. But for an unaccounted amount of us who are prone to addiction, watching a bit a of porn can be like smoking some crack to relieve stress.
I am not really sure who Warner wrote this book for. Buddhists? People who are into polyamory? Definitely not gay people. In any of these cases, it is not a good book. In fact, I think it would be "best" for people who are into Zen and are wondering if their desire to watch porn 24/7 or spend all night scrolling through dating apps is ok or not.
I tend to agree with Thich Nhat Hanh (who Warner does mention) about the 3rd precept. You need to consider if anyone is being harmed in the process, this includes future events that can unfold. There are plenty of sexual activities that may not directly hurt anyone, but they do end up having negative consequences. Whether it's the person who is about to get fired from their job for taking extra long lunches to watch porn in their car, or the person who can't stop having affairs even though they are married.
I know Buddhism is pretty vague when it comes to the topic of sex, but I would strongly advise people who may think they have a sexual addiction to steer clear of this book. Listen to books written by researched professionals (Robert Weiss, Patrick Carnes, and George Collins to name a few). If you really want an addiction book that has a Zen perspective, I recommend The Zen of Recovery by Mel Ash.
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- Rob Myers
- 10-11-20
Perhaps a co-author would have helped?
I really like mostof Brad Warner's books. Been reading his stuff since Hardcore Zen, and usually give him 5 stars. (In fact, his latest, Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen, is brilliant!)
This one, though, was frustrating. And not because of the topic, cutesy cover art, or because of anything offensive. In fact, some of the chapters about Buddhist topics were (once again) brilliant!
In this book, Brad swings amongst giving the Buddhist view, saying there's no clear Buddhist view, giving his opinion, making a joke... The topics about sex are dealt with in this very repetitive, get-nowhere format. The vaguarities are fine for someone like me (Brad's age) but I'm not sure it would help someone younger and struggling with a sexual issue. He doesn't want to give out absolutes, of course; and he does give guidance, except that he often ends with "on the other hand..." and nearly dismisses what he just stated.
He simply doesn't seem to have enough experience and perspective on many of these topics. His opinions are from his own experience, or from his Buddhist education, but neither of those gives him much insight into other perspectives.
For example: Polyamory. He's correct that humans naturally pair-bond. What he doesn't say is that humans tend to pair-bond sequentially, and pair-bonds don't always last beyond 20 years (enough time to raise a child). With about a 50% divorce rate in the US, the "mate-for-life" experience is rare. Also, people can be pair-bonded, even truly in love, perhaps for life; and still play around. In the gay world, that's almost a given. In other words, there's emotional pair-bonding, and then there's f---ing. In many aging relationships, it's an open, healthy, and light-hearted agreement amongst adults. As Brad points out many times, sex is not a sin.
I do sorta wish he had more strongly emphasized the flip-side of that--vis-a-vis the 3rd Precept--a bit more, though: Doing harm to self and others through sex is not healthy. Hurting your spouse's feelings is bad. Messing around with someone else's partner, when you know that they haven't agreed to this, is bad.
It wouldn't have been that tough to use some simple examples and restated The Golden Rule. But...his book, not mine.
He could have talked to a woman, or a gay man, familiar with these topics, and likely provided better advice. His is mostly a limited straight white male perspective. He's not unfair to women, gay men, or transgendered folx. He's very fair, but not very insightful.
There are even one or two places where he says there are better books, written by more qualified writers, that you should go read. But he rarely references those books.
So, a great Buddhist writer, writing about a topic he really shouldn't have ventured into, alone. Brad, everything is better with a partner! ;-)
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-01-22
a lot of good ideas,but uninformed on non-monogamy
I liked a lot of what the author had to say on a number of subjects, my idiosyncratic philosophy based on Hegel and Zizek often mirrors Buddhist thought.
that said, nearly every statement he made about polyamory is incorrect. he claims that polyamory is about non-monogamous sex, when poly is generally referred to as multiple romantic interests.
the author then makes claims that humans have been monogamous through our hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, which is untrue. monogamy has only been the norm within the past 2k or so years. one merely has to look at Egypt, Anatolia, brothels, Babylonian practices (which he even acknowledges before his discussion on polyamory) harems, concubines, non+monogamous tribes that shared parental duties. the reality is we evolved non-monogamous, but adapted to monogamy with the introduction of more modern ideas.
his comments on Marxism are also incorrect, seemingly based on popular ideas of Marxist thought, or maybe he read the small pamphlet Marx wrote for the French Communist Party. I'd be curious what his thoughts on Engels' family and state writings would be.
his comments on these things makes me wonder if his ideas on the other subjects are authentic, or further misunderstanding.
that said, the book is good, just don't take his words as facts, and read the source material he discusses.
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