I really should have seen it coming—because, let’s be honest, planets are massive—but somehow, I didn’t. One moment, I was happily sliding about like someone playing twister after they had lubed themselves up with copious amounts of industrial-strength baby oil, and the next, I was face-first in a field of cow crap, legs in the air, dignity long gone.

Welcome to The Viking Way, a long-distance walk stretching from Barton in Lincolnshire to Oakham in Rutland (which, fun fact, is England’s smallest county). “I’ll walk it,” I thought. “It’ll be fun,” I thought. And sure, it was… in between the rain, the floods, the freezing temperatures, and enough mud to open my own spa.

But I’m a sucker for punishment, so I pressed on, uncovering a rich and ridiculous history along the way. Setting off from the Humber—which, by the way, isn’t even a river, I ventured deep into Lincolnshire, where I encountered heroes, villains, kings, queens, witches, knights, and at least one local who made me question all my life choices. Castles and fairy-tale characters spilled their secrets, proving that this little slice of England packs far more history than you’d ever expect.

And speaking of unexpected—do you know what links a murderous dwarf, Elton John, King Harold of England, and a Viking hitman? No? Then lace up your boots and come with me on my most absurdly entertaining voyage of discovery yet.

Paul was born and raised in Hull, Yorkshire—a place so magnificent it took him years of globe-trotting to realize he should’ve just stayed put. After visiting some of the world’s most exotic locations, he finally had an epiphany: nowhere beats the weird and wonderful charm of England. Now, he spends as much time as possible trudging around the country, uncovering its bizarre and fascinating history, and encountering a delightful mix of interesting, eccentric, and occasionally downright questionable people.

Paul has completed many long distance footpaths throughout the UK, and his previous adventures include Hadrian's Wall Path: A Walk Through History, Rambling On: Lost on the Cleveland Way, Coast to Coast: Finding Wainwright's England, and many more besides. It should be noted that he does spend most of his time lost.