Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat
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Narrated by:
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Derek J Young
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By:
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CHARLES BROOM
About this listen
•The characters and places in this book are purely non-coincidental. If anyone should take offence in the forthcoming tale please contact me and I will gladly leave the country.
•This book is dedicated to all those who take the time to read it, thank you.
•SQUELCH A STORY BY CHARLIE BROOM.WELCOME TO TIC-TAC-TOE
The land of Tic-Tac-Toe is to the left of your vision it is always there yet if you blink you will miss it. Fortunately I have had a bump on the head, a prerequisite for multiple journeys to this mixed up gibberish of a place. Our hero Squelch is of good and nearly good stock, the unlikely outcome of a union between a well known stolen racehorse and that woman with all the snakes on her head. Squelch is unorthodox in actual fact he has no religion, he has five legs, two arms, banana skin, removable orange eyes and pink / sky blue candyfloss hair, which people are always helping themselves to. Pretty average looking when all is said and done.
For work he keeps himself busy as a self- employed hurdler. Often winning although either very drunk or very silly people back him. Yes I have won a few pound on him, enabling me to spend my life writing. In his spare time Squelch likes to play the amateur detective, finding lost socks, marbles, chasing the culprits who knocked down ginger, solving the murder in the dark, and calling out the blind mans bluff.
Today is like any other the blue sun rises, grumpily as usual, she is not a morning person and shines her beautiful rainbow filed hues over the land. If she decided not to get up then everywhere would be dreary and grey, not much fun at all, so it has been decided that when she is altogether too cross, usually at the end of the day, the people would put a nice cool blanket on her and let her rest. After all hanging around all day is no good for anyone, so there is no surprise that she has a moody temperament. Squelch trots out of his bed, then over to his patio sugar-glass doors.
©2024 CHARLES BROOM (P)2024 CHARLES BROOMListeners also enjoyed...
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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The Perfect Find
- By: Tia Williams
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
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A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
What listeners say about Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Knowledge1000
- 09-30-24
A Quirky and Fun Adventure
The narrator really brought Squelch and the land of Tic-Tac-Toe to life with all the quirky characters and silly situations. Squelch is such an oddball, with his five legs and candyfloss hair, and the story had me laughing throughout. It’s the perfect listen if you want something light and humorous. The whole thing feels like a playful escape into a bizarre and entertaining world. I had a great time with it!
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- Allison A.
- 10-24-24
A Trip To Tic-Tac-Toe
This audiobook is really fun, with a narrator who makes the characters come alive. The pacing keeps things interesting, balancing humor and heart nicely. Overall, it’s a great listen that keeps you wanting more.
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- JHughes
- 09-23-24
A Whodunit Mystery Adventure
Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat" is a quirky, imaginative mystery that delivers a delightful blend of humor, intrigue, and memorable characters. Set in a world where the bizarre is the norm, Squelch—a reluctant detective with a knack for getting into trouble—takes on his most unusual case yet: finding a missing scapegoat. Yes, an actual scapegoat.
The plot is filled with twists and turns as Squelch navigates a tangled web of suspects, from the eccentric townspeople to unlikely animals with secret motives. What makes this story particularly enjoyable is the author’s ability to balance lighthearted comedy with clever mystery elements, making the book feel both whimsical and engaging.
Squelch himself is a refreshingly imperfect protagonist. His dry wit and sarcastic observations bring a unique voice to the narrative, and his interactions with the equally odd supporting cast—each with their own secrets—add to the charm. The dialogue is sharp and entertaining, keeping readers hooked as they unravel the clues along with the detective.
This book is perfect for readers who enjoy offbeat mysteries with a touch of absurdity. It’s fun, fast-paced, and full of unexpected surprises. "Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat" proves that even the strangest of mysteries can make for a thoroughly entertaining read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jules
- 09-26-24
Adventures of Squelch
Squelch and the Case of the Missing Scapegoat is bizarre and enchanting at the same time. The main protagonist, Squelch, is a quirky character and his antics as a self-employed hurdler and amateur detective kept me chuckling throughout. The narrative is filled with imaginative details that make every scene vivid and engaging. The humor is light-hearted yet clever, making it perfect for listeners of all ages.
Overall, this audiobook is a fantastic escape into a wonderfully wacky universe,
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1 person found this helpful
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- J.Bite
- 09-28-24
Unique and entertaining
This audiobook is a wonderfully bizarre and imaginative tale that transports readers to the whimsical land of Tic-Tac-Toe, where nothing makes sense yet everything feels oddly right. The quirky hero, Squelch, is delightfully unorthodox, making every page a joy to read as he embarks on his strange yet humorous adventures. The writing is both playful and witty, filled with whimsical descriptions and colourful characters, like the grumpy blue sun, that bring this magical world to life.
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- James
- 09-27-24
Unique Story
Charles Broom's The Land of Tic-Tac-Toe is a delightful and imaginative journey into a world that is both familiar and utterly bizarre. With its quirky characters, absurd plotlines, and unexpected twists, this novel offers a refreshing escape from the mundane.
The protagonist, Squelch, is a truly unique individual. His appearance, with removable eyes and candyfloss hair, is as unconventional as his personality. Despite his unusual traits, Squelch is a relatable and endearing character who is easy to root for. His adventures, from his detective work to his hurdling career, are both hilarious and heartwarming.
Broom's writing style is witty and engaging. He has a knack for creating vivid imagery and crafting humorous dialogue. The world of Tic-Tac-Toe is both fantastical and grounded in a certain kind of logic, making it a truly immersive experience.
If you're looking for a fun and lighthearted read, The Land of Tic-Tac-Toe is definitely worth checking out. It's a perfect escape for anyone who appreciates a good dose of humor and imagination.
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