
Still on Fire
Field Notes from a Queer Mystic
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Jan Phillips
-
By:
-
Jan Phillips
About this listen
Jan Phillips was a devoted Catholic who wanted nothing more than to be a nun and who joyously entered the convent at 18. Two years later, she was dismissed for “a disposition unsuited to religious life, with excessive and exclusive friendships”. She was lesbian. She had always known it.
“It was being homosexual that made me want to kill myself [at 12]. As far as I knew, there was nothing worse than being queer. They were perverts, sinners, hated by God, hated by just about everyone. Lezzies, bull dykes, fags, queers, lesbos—all damned, and there I was, one of them."
Still on Fire is a memoir of religious wounding and spiritual healing, of judgment and forgiveness, and of social activism in a world that is in our hands. Phillips traveled the globe on a one-woman peace pilgrimage, raised the consciousness of women, faced her privilege on a trip to India, and is working to dismantle structural racism. Her Livingkindness Foundation supports schoolchildren in Nigeria.
“Any spirituality that does not bring about more justice, more social awareness, more right action in the world is a lame and impotent excuse for faith.... My action for justice is my spirituality."
She tells the story of her life with humor and compassion, sharing her poetry, songs, and photos along the way.
Jan Phillips facilitates workshops throughout the US and Canada using her music, videos, and poetry to keep the heart and brain connected.
She has been a writer and photographer since the mid-1970s, and her work has been published in The New York Times, People, Christian Science Monitor, Ms. Magazine, Parade Magazine, Utne Reader, The Sun Magazine, and National Catholic Reporter.
Phillips is the author of 10 other books, including No Ordinary Time (Livingkindness Foundation, 2011) and There Are Burning Bushes Everywhere (Livingkindness Foundation, 2016).
©2021 Jan Phillips (P)2022 Jan PhillipsListeners also enjoyed...
-
Do I Stay Christian?
- A Guide for the Doubters, the Disappointed, and the Disillusioned
- By: Brian D. McLaren
- Narrated by: Brian D. McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Do I Stay Christian? addresses in public the powerful question that surprising numbers of people—including pastors, priests, and other religious leaders—are asking in private. Picking up where Faith After Doubt leaves off, Do I Stay Christian? is not McLaren's attempt to persuade Christians to dig in their heels or run for the exit. Instead, he combines his own experience with that of thousands of people who have confided in him over the years to help readers make a responsible, honest, ethical decision about their religious identity.
-
-
Stunning
- By pslwallace on 06-30-23
By: Brian D. McLaren
-
Everything Belongs
- The Gift of Contemplative Prayer
- By: Richard Rohr
- Narrated by: Rick Adamson
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This popular and best-selling book from a renowned Franciscan challenges people to move beyond the comfort of a settled life toward an understanding of themselves that is rooted in their connection to God. Only when they rest in God can they find the certainty and the freedom to become all that they can be.
-
-
I love Richard Rohr, but
- By Kothel on 02-02-21
By: Richard Rohr
-
Stay True
- A Memoir
- By: Hua Hsu
- Narrated by: Hua Hsu
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the eyes of eighteen-year-old Hua Hsu, the problem with Ken—with his passion for Dave Matthews, Abercrombie & Fitch, and his fraternity—is that he is exactly like everyone else. Ken, whose Japanese American family has been in the United States for generations, is mainstream; for Hua, the son of Taiwanese immigrants, who makes ’zines and haunts Bay Area record shops, Ken represents all that he defines himself in opposition to. The only thing Hua and Ken have in common is that, however they engage with it, American culture doesn’t seem to have a place for either of them.
-
-
At the end, this book is about friendships
- By rosalinda lam on 10-31-22
By: Hua Hsu
-
Lessons from the Edge
- A Memoir
- By: Marie Yovanovitch
- Narrated by: Marie Yovanovitch
- Length: 17 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By the time she became US Ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch had seen her share of corruption, instability, and tragedy in developing countries. But it came as a shock when, in early 2019, she was recalled from her post after a smear campaign by President Trump’s personal attorney and his associates—men operating outside of normal governmental channels, and apparently motivated by personal gain. Her courageous participation in the subsequent impeachment inquiry earned Yovanovitch the nation’s respect, and her dignified response to the president’s attacks won our hearts.
-
-
Heroic patriot's amazing story
- By Victoria Eriksson on 03-19-22
-
Living an Examined Life
- By: James Hollis PhD
- Narrated by: Kevin M. Connolly
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How do you define “growing up?” Does it mean you achieve certain cultural benchmarks - a steady income, paying taxes, marriage, and children? Or does it mean leaving behind the expectations of others and growing into the person you were meant to be? Here acclaimed author James Hollis guides you through 21 areas for self-inquiry and growth - such as how to exorcise the ghosts of your past, when to choose meaning over happiness, how to construct a mature spirituality, and how to seize permission to be who you really are.
-
-
Extraordinary compilation of Dr. Hollis' works
- By Joseph on 02-17-18
By: James Hollis PhD
-
Jesus' Alternative Plan
- The Sermon on the Mount
- By: Richard Rohr OFM
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Richard Rohr Rohr goes through the teachings of the Sermon on the Mount, explaining the historical and cultural context of each verse and offering guidance for what it means for Christians today.
-
-
Richard's commentary on Matthew's gospel
- By Anonymous User on 03-30-23
By: Richard Rohr OFM
-
Do I Stay Christian?
- A Guide for the Doubters, the Disappointed, and the Disillusioned
- By: Brian D. McLaren
- Narrated by: Brian D. McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Do I Stay Christian? addresses in public the powerful question that surprising numbers of people—including pastors, priests, and other religious leaders—are asking in private. Picking up where Faith After Doubt leaves off, Do I Stay Christian? is not McLaren's attempt to persuade Christians to dig in their heels or run for the exit. Instead, he combines his own experience with that of thousands of people who have confided in him over the years to help readers make a responsible, honest, ethical decision about their religious identity.
-
-
Stunning
- By pslwallace on 06-30-23
By: Brian D. McLaren
-
Everything Belongs
- The Gift of Contemplative Prayer
- By: Richard Rohr
- Narrated by: Rick Adamson
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This popular and best-selling book from a renowned Franciscan challenges people to move beyond the comfort of a settled life toward an understanding of themselves that is rooted in their connection to God. Only when they rest in God can they find the certainty and the freedom to become all that they can be.
-
-
I love Richard Rohr, but
- By Kothel on 02-02-21
By: Richard Rohr
-
Stay True
- A Memoir
- By: Hua Hsu
- Narrated by: Hua Hsu
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the eyes of eighteen-year-old Hua Hsu, the problem with Ken—with his passion for Dave Matthews, Abercrombie & Fitch, and his fraternity—is that he is exactly like everyone else. Ken, whose Japanese American family has been in the United States for generations, is mainstream; for Hua, the son of Taiwanese immigrants, who makes ’zines and haunts Bay Area record shops, Ken represents all that he defines himself in opposition to. The only thing Hua and Ken have in common is that, however they engage with it, American culture doesn’t seem to have a place for either of them.
-
-
At the end, this book is about friendships
- By rosalinda lam on 10-31-22
By: Hua Hsu
-
Lessons from the Edge
- A Memoir
- By: Marie Yovanovitch
- Narrated by: Marie Yovanovitch
- Length: 17 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By the time she became US Ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch had seen her share of corruption, instability, and tragedy in developing countries. But it came as a shock when, in early 2019, she was recalled from her post after a smear campaign by President Trump’s personal attorney and his associates—men operating outside of normal governmental channels, and apparently motivated by personal gain. Her courageous participation in the subsequent impeachment inquiry earned Yovanovitch the nation’s respect, and her dignified response to the president’s attacks won our hearts.
-
-
Heroic patriot's amazing story
- By Victoria Eriksson on 03-19-22
-
Living an Examined Life
- By: James Hollis PhD
- Narrated by: Kevin M. Connolly
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How do you define “growing up?” Does it mean you achieve certain cultural benchmarks - a steady income, paying taxes, marriage, and children? Or does it mean leaving behind the expectations of others and growing into the person you were meant to be? Here acclaimed author James Hollis guides you through 21 areas for self-inquiry and growth - such as how to exorcise the ghosts of your past, when to choose meaning over happiness, how to construct a mature spirituality, and how to seize permission to be who you really are.
-
-
Extraordinary compilation of Dr. Hollis' works
- By Joseph on 02-17-18
By: James Hollis PhD
-
Jesus' Alternative Plan
- The Sermon on the Mount
- By: Richard Rohr OFM
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Richard Rohr Rohr goes through the teachings of the Sermon on the Mount, explaining the historical and cultural context of each verse and offering guidance for what it means for Christians today.
-
-
Richard's commentary on Matthew's gospel
- By Anonymous User on 03-30-23
By: Richard Rohr OFM
-
The Madonna Secret
- By: Sophie Strand
- Narrated by: Sophie Strand
- Length: 22 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Leukas, a Christian convert, ventures into the wilds of Gaul to receive the hidden teachings from Mary Magdalene before she dies, he discovers that hidden within the Gospels he thinks he knows is an epic love story—between an educated Jewish woman overwhelmed by her mysterious spiritual powers and a sensual magician devoted to the wisdom of the earth. The secrets she will reveal are both more shocking and more tragic than anything listeners have encountered before.
-
-
Enjoyable re-narrativisation!
- By Jennifer Kenny on 12-08-23
By: Sophie Strand
-
Things Hidden
- Scripture as Spirituality
- By: Richard Rohr O.F.M.
- Narrated by: John Quigley O.F.M.
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Bible is meant to be about transformation, not merely information. In Things Hidden, Richard Rohr invites you to experience Scripture as spirituality - as a living text that can breathe new life into your relationship with God and change your way of seeing the world.
-
-
excellent and inspirational in the insights
- By Nana on 11-03-22
-
The Monastic Heart
- 50 Simple Practices for a Contemplative and Fulfilling Life
- By: Joan Chittister
- Narrated by: Joan Chittister
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The activist, nun, and esteemed spiritual voice who has twice appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday sounds the call to create a monastery within ourselves - to cultivate wisdom and resilience so that we may join God in the work of renewal, restoration, and justice right where we are.
-
-
I will listen to this over and over in coming yrs.
- By Kimberly on 06-14-22
By: Joan Chittister
-
Living Buddha, Living Christ
- By: Thich Nhat Hanh
- Narrated by: Ben Kingsley
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
World-renowned thinker and scholar Thich Nhat Hanh, considered by many to be a "Living Buddah," explores the spiritual crossroads where the traditions of Christianity and Buddhism meet. Living Buddha, Living Christ reawakens our understanding of both religions and the connections between them.
-
-
Beautiful
- By Jennifer Weatherbee on 04-18-15
By: Thich Nhat Hanh
-
How We Live Is How We Die
- By: Pema Chödrön
- Narrated by: Olivia Darnley
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As much as we might try to resist, endings happen in every moment—the end of a breath, the end of a day, the end of a relationship, and ultimately the end of life. And accompanying each ending is a beginning, though it may be unclear what the beginning holds. In How We Live Is How We Die, Pema Chödrön shares her wisdom for working with this flow of life—learning to live with ease, joy, and compassion through uncertainty, embracing new beginnings, and ultimately preparing for death with curiosity and openness rather than fear.
-
-
Dealing with disappointment!
- By Sabine Blanchard on 10-19-22
By: Pema Chödrön
-
The Flowering Wand
- Rewilding the Sacred Masculine
- By: Sophie Strand
- Narrated by: Sophie Strand
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Long before the sword-wielding heroes of legend readily cut down forests, slaughtered the old deities, and vanquished their enemies, there were playful gods, animal-headed kings, mischievous lovers, trickster harpists, and vegetal magicians with flowering wands. As eco-feminist scholar Sophie Strand discovered, these wilder, more magical modes of the masculine have always been hidden in plain sight.
-
-
Not ‘This’ not ‘That’
- By Patti Shaffner on 04-10-23
By: Sophie Strand
-
The Wisdom Pattern
- Order, Disorder, Reorder
- By: Richard Rohr O.F.M.
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A universal pattern can be found in all societies and in fact in all of creation. We see it in the seasons of the year; the stories of Scripture; the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus; the rise and fall of civilizations; and even in our own lives. In this new version of one of his earlier books, Father Richard Rohr illuminates the way understanding and embracing this pattern can give us hope in difficult times and the courage to push through messiness and even great chaos to find a new way of being in the world.
-
-
For those who question what they have believed…
- By Jim H. on 06-15-21
-
What I Know for Sure
- By: Oprah Winfrey
- Narrated by: Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After film critic Gene Siskel asked her, "What do you know for sure?" Oprah Winfrey began writing the "What I Know for Sure" column in O, The Oprah Magazine. Saying that the question offered her a way to take "stock of her life", Oprah has penned one column a month over the last 14 years.
-
-
This one takes the cake
- By Destinee on 11-28-14
By: Oprah Winfrey
-
Daily Prayer with the Corrymeela Community
- By: Pádraig Ó Tuama
- Narrated by: Pádraig Ó Tuama
- Length: 1 hr and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Corrymeela is Northern Ireland’s oldest peace and reconciliation organization. At its heart is a simple pattern of daily worship that is structured around meditation on the Gospels. This prayer book captures the essence of the Corrymeela prayer experience for everyone who wishes to incorporate its spirituality into their regular prayer practice.
-
-
A mentor and spiritual director
- By Trudy Rankin on 09-29-24
By: Pádraig Ó Tuama
-
The Creative Cure
- How Finding and Freeing Your Inner Artist Can Heal Your Life
- By: Jacob Nordby
- Narrated by: Jacob Nordby
- Length: 4 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Creative Cure is a call for a revolution, fostering change where all change must begin: within. This internal change will allow you to express your own creative gifts, cultivate happiness, and experience the unique feeling of fulfillment that only a creative practice can offer. Packed with powerful, transformative exercises, this book is the medicine you need to find and reinvigorate your creative soul.
-
-
An unexpected surprise
- By Beky on 08-24-21
By: Jacob Nordby
-
Faith After Doubt
- Why Your Beliefs Stopped Working and What to Do About It
- By: Brian D. McLaren
- Narrated by: Brian D. McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sixty-five million adults in the US have dropped out of active church attendance, and about 2.7 million more are leaving every year. Faith After Doubt is for the millions of people around the world who feel that their faith is falling apart. Using his own story and the stories of a diverse group of struggling believers, Brian D. McLaren, a former pastor and now an author, speaker, and activist, shows how old assumptions are being challenged in nearly every area of human life, not just theology and spirituality.
-
-
Ok book
- By James on 05-13-21
By: Brian D. McLaren
-
Call It Grace
- Finding Meaning in a Fractured World
- By: Serene Jones
- Narrated by: Serene Jones
- Length: 13 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Serene Jones' epic work of raw truth, fierce love, and spiritual teaching is as muscular as the fractured soul of this century demands. From her abiding Oklahoma roots to her historic leadership of a legendary New York seminary, her story illuminates the deep fault lines of this age - and points beyond them.
-
-
wonderful book for all who struggle with God.
- By Grace Gravelle on 07-22-20
By: Serene Jones
Critic reviews
"Still on Fire is another visionary book from thought leader Jan Phillips, an evolutionary work that connects spiritual consciousness with global action. A prophetic work of prose, prayer, and poetry." (Deepak Chopra, MD)
What listeners say about Still on Fire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- K
- 07-12-22
Powerful story
A soulful journey of growth and important perspective for our times. Enjoyed hearing the author read her story as well. Thank you for sharing this Jan!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Noel K.
- 08-15-23
Interested in evolving?
Confused about who you are and/or why you are alive? Read this.
In telling her story of becoming the person she is, Jan Phillips ignites the reader’s own story with the challenge of a prophet in hopes that you too choose to live “on fire.”
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jeanne Hanson
- 12-28-22
Like water in the desert
This is a story of spiritual transformation and divine affirmation told by a mystic and poet with beauty, pain, and exquisite compassion. As someone who, like Jan, has been wounded by the church, her chapter titled "Nothing to Forgive" was grace and balm. Jan's luscious description of her morning practice has inspired me to take up my own practice again! And I tell you this because it is true: listen to this book, even if you also read it, because you'll be treated to her beautiful original songs! I'm opened, uplifted, enlightened, and activated by this well-written memoir.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!