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The Brand New Catastrophe
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: Mike Scalise
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
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Publisher's summary
Raucous family memoir meets medical adventure in this heartfelt, hilarious book exploring the public and private theaters of illness.
After a tumor bursts in Mike Scalise's brain, leaving him with a hole in the head and malfunctioning hormones, he must navigate a new alien world of illness maintenance. His mother, who has a chronic heart condition and a flair for drama, becomes a complicated model as she competes with him for the status of "best sick person". The Brand New Catastrophe is a moving, funny exploration of how we define ourselves by the stories we choose to tell. And here, in audio, Scalise tells his stories directly to the listener, bringing added depth and unmatched sincerity to this very personal story.
Mike Scalise's work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Agni, Indiewire, The Paris Review Daily, and elsewhere. He has received fellowships and scholarships from Bread Loaf, Yaddo, and the Ucross Foundation and was the Philip Roth Writer in Residence at Bucknell University. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.
The Brand New Catastrophe is the winner of the Center for Fiction's Christopher Doheny Award, which recognizes excellence in writing about serious illness. The prize was created by Audible in honor of Chris Doheny, a long-time employee who lost his battle with cystic fibrosis in 2013.
Cover design by Oliver Munday.
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Editorial reviews
Instead, Chris liked to talk about books. (And music. And good coffee. And soccer. But a lot about books.) In our work together at Audible, Chris championed his favorites - Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, Pastoralia by George Saunders, and Tinkers by Paul Harding...long before it won the Pulitzer. The first book he ever recommended to me, Ann Patchett's Bel Canto, is still one of my favorites, and my children love Jon Klassen's darkly funny I Want My Hat Back, a gift from 'Uncle Chris' that perfectly reflected his wicked sense of humor. Chris's discerning taste and deep love of literature was prevalent in all facets of his life - he even named his pet rabbit Vonnegut. Towards the end, he was almost done writing his own novel, and it was at his request that his vast collection of books was given away at his funeral - the best way for a book lover to leave a piece of himself with his friends.
And when we knew that the end was coming, Audible's publisher, Beth Anderson - the woman who hired both me and Chris and had been our mentor since 2004 - worked with Chris to figure out the best way we could honor him. And so The Christopher Doheny Award was established with The Center for Fiction to recognize excellence in fiction or nonfiction on the topic of serious physical illness. The author has to have personal experience dealing with life-threatening illness, either his or her own or that of a close relative or friend. Because even though Chris didn't let CF define him, he thought it important that more books address the toll that serious illness can take.
I'm honored to serve as one of the judges for the Doheny Award each year - despite the pressure of living up to Chris's high literary standards! - and am proud to share that the latest winner is now available: The Brand New Catastrophe by Mike Scalise. In his frank and funny memoir, Mike wrestles with how we define ourselves by the stories we choose to tell. It just so happens that part of Mike's story is about a brain tumor...that burst in his head. Chris would have loved Mike's take on living a meaningful life without letting illness become the full story; he also would have loved having his namesake prize share front cover billing with one of his favorite authors, Dave Eggers, who had this to say about The Brand New Catastrophe: "A very funny book about the frailties of the flesh, the absurdities of modern medicine, and how to stay sane amid it all. Scalise's voice is fantastically entertaining, unfailingly honest." —Diana
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My Year with Eleanor
- A Memoir
- By: Noelle Hancock
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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After losing her high-octane job as an entertainment blogger, Noelle Hancock was lost. About to turn 29, she'd spent her career writing about celebrities' lives and had forgotten how to live her own. Unemployed and full of self-doubt, she had no idea what she wanted out of life. She feared change - in fact, she feared almost everything. Once confident and ambitious, she had become crippled by anxiety, lacking the courage required even to attend a dinner party - until inspiration struck one day in the form of a quote on a chalkboard in a coffee shop.
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Right on time!
- By Leah on 02-19-18
By: Noelle Hancock
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Bright Lights, Big City
- By: Jay McInerney
- Narrated by: Daniel Passer
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The tragicomedy of a young man in New York City, a writer, never named, who works as a fact-checker for a prestigious magazine. He struggles with the reality of his mother's death, alienation, and the seductive pull of drugs and a vibrant nightlife.
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Curiously, mundanely real
- By Amber on 01-07-12
By: Jay McInerney
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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Beyond the Bear
- How I Learned to Live and Love Again after Being Blinded by a Bear
- By: Dan Bigley, Debra McKinney
- Narrated by: Kevin Young
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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A 25-year-old backcountry wanderer, a man happiest exploring wild places with his dog, Dan Bigley woke up one midsummer morning to a day full of promise. Before it was over, after a stellar day of salmon fishing along Alaska’s Kenai and Russian rivers, a grizzly came tearing around a corner in the trail. Dan barely had time for “bear charging” to register before it had him on the ground, altering his life forever.
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Beautiful! The best ever! Shout out from Haines Ak
- By Stacy on 12-01-19
By: Dan Bigley, and others
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Weekends at Bellevue
- By: Julie Holland MD
- Narrated by: Julie Holland MD
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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His name was Joshua Silver. He was 23 years old, educated, and had an impressive vocabulary. The NYPD had found Joshua Silver naked in Times Square, barking like a dog. It was just another night for Julie Holland, the attending doctor in the world famous Bellevue Hospital's psychiatric emergency room.
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An Uneven Memoir
- By A. M. Dalessandro on 09-24-10
By: Julie Holland MD
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The Conspiracy Club
- By: Jonathan Kellerman
- Narrated by: Rob Kahn
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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When his brief, passionate romance with nurse Jocelyn Banks is cut short by her kidnapping and brutal murder, Dr. Jeremy Carrier is left emotionally devastated, haunted by his lover's grisly demise and warily eyed by police still seeking a prime suspect in the unsolved slaying. To escape the pain, he buries himself in his work as staff psychologist at City Central Hospital, only to be drawn deeper into a waking nightmare when more women turn up murdered in the same gruesome fashion as Jocelyn Banks.
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Disappointin Departure
- By Tom on 12-03-03
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Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
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One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
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Lit
- A Memoir
- By: Mary Karr
- Narrated by: Mary Karr
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Lit follows Mary Karr's descent into the inferno of alcoholism and madness - and her astonishing resurrection. Karr's longing for a solid family seems secure when her marriage to a handsome, Shakespeare-quoting poet produces a son they adore. But she can't outrun her apocalyptic past. She drinks herself into the same numbness that nearly devoured her charismatic but troubled mother, reaching the brink of suicide. A hair-raising stint in "The Mental Marriott" awakens her to the possibility of joy, and leads her to an unlikely faith.
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Finally! One for the "Win" column
- By Kim on 03-22-10
By: Mary Karr
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The Turner House
- By: Angela Flournoy
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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The Turners have lived on Yarrow Street for over 50 years. Their house has seen 13 children grown and gone - and some returned; it has seen the arrival of grandchildren, the fall of Detroit's East Side, and the loss of a father. The house still stands despite abandoned lots, an embattled city, and the inevitable shift outward to the suburbs. But now, as ailing matriarch Viola finds herself forced to leave her home and move in with her eldest son, the family discovers that the house is worth just a 10th of its mortgage.
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The narrator's performance made the difference.
- By KT on 06-11-15
By: Angela Flournoy
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Expecting Adam
- A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment Martha and her husband, John, conceived their second child, all hell broke loose. They were a couple obsessed with success. After years of matching IQs and test scores with less driven peers, they had two Harvard degrees apiece and were gunning for more. But the dream had begun to disintegrate. Then, when their unborn son, Adam, was diagnosed with Down syndrome, doctors, advisers, and friends in the Harvard community warned them not to keep the baby.
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True Life Fairy Tale
- By Desarae on 11-27-13
By: Martha Beck
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Breaking Night
- A Memoir of Forgiveness, Survival, and My Journey from Homeless to Harvard
- By: Liz Murray
- Narrated by: Liz Murray
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-12
By: Liz Murray
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Last Night in the OR
- A Transplant Surgeon's Odyssey
- By: Bud Shaw
- Narrated by: Jonathan Yen
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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The 1980s marked a revolution in the field of organ transplants, and Bud Shaw, MD, who studied under Tom Starzl in Pittsburgh, was on the front lines. Now retired from active practice, Dr. Shaw relays gripping moments of anguish and elation, frustration and reward, despair and hope in his struggle to save patients. He reveals harshly intimate moments of his medical career.
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Expect alot of bad language!
- By Lynn L. on 08-10-16
By: Bud Shaw
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The Opposite of Loneliness
- Essays and Stories
- By: Marina Keegan
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Marina Keegan's star was on the rise when she graduated magna cum laude from Yale in May 2012. She had a play that was to be produced at the New York International Fringe Festival and a job waiting for her at the New Yorker. Tragically, five days after graduation, Marina died in a car crash. Even though she was just 22 when she died, Marina left behind a rich, expansive trove of prose that, like her title essay, captures the hope, uncertainty, and possibility of her generation.
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Probably buy the book too.
- By Soupergirl on 09-14-15
By: Marina Keegan
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Fairyland
- A Memoir of My Father
- By: Alysia Abbott
- Narrated by: Alysia Abbott
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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A beautiful, vibrant memoir about growing up motherless in 1970s and 80s San Francisco with an openly gay father. After his wife dies in a car accident, bisexual writer and activist Steve Abbott moves with his two-year-old daughter to San Francisco. There they discover a city in the midst of revolution, bustling with gay men in search of liberation - few of whom are raising a child. Steve throws himself into San Francisco's vibrant cultural scene.
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Great representation of the time
- By AvidReader22 on 06-07-19
By: Alysia Abbott
What listeners say about The Brand New Catastrophe
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Leah
- 04-29-17
Bless Mike's resilient heart!
Any additional comments?
The world needs more Mikes. He just keeps going forward no matter what. Failure is never an option even if it means standing out more than the bride, and not in a good way, in a group wedding photo.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Cathy M
- 06-23-17
Excellent narration
I enjoyed the book thoroughly, the perceptions, the wit, the progression of the narrative. But in addition to the excellent story/memoir, I was particularly impressed with the effectiveness of the author's own voice. I can't imagine anybody else doing a better job.
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1 person found this helpful
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- N. Thomas
- 02-06-17
Interesting
However, the ending is not good. It just ends. No prophetic saying or anything. Story is told about a period in the life of a man with a brain tumor and his family including a mother who has terrible heart disease yet continues to smoke and guzzle wine.. everyone knows you have to stop at the mention of heart issues.
Sort of depressing. Brain tumor is well described as are his symptoms.
Hope he is better..
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6 people found this helpful
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- Christine Pietzsch
- 06-24-17
really great
personal story. mike scalise does a good job narrating his tail of acromegaly. glad a bought and listened
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- Karin Svenson Snyder
- 05-30-18
Interesting, but for how long?
Having known two brothers with Meglomania and another with a brain tumor I thought this story would expand my sympathetic viewpoint that is closer than the average.
I did indeed learn more about a first person view of the struggle. But I also experienced the struggle to stick with the audiobook. The author may have been better served by using a different narrator as the monotone put me to sleep occasionally.
I struggle with two dibilitating chronic diseases so I get the self absorbtion it takes to cope. But on and on it droned. We learned little, after hours of listening, about a story beyond detail after detail of what people in the author's life looked, spoke, annoyed, appeared to him. If only the scope was broader....
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-11-17
hated this book
Would you try another book from Mike Scalise and/or Mike Scalise?
I don't think so
Has The Brand New Catastrophe turned you off from other books in this genre?
YES
Would you be willing to try another one of Mike Scalise’s performances?
If it was free
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from The Brand New Catastrophe?
I did not finish the book--20 minutes was all I could take
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5 people found this helpful
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- A. S. E.
- 07-03-17
skip it
the author is whiny and his narration is stilted. We couldn't make it past the third chapter.
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- ace
- 02-01-17
A terrible waste of time and money.
I am shocked this book won an award. The story of his journey with a rare disease could have been inspiring or uplifting; however it was just hours of jumbled rambling. His medical history that is interesting could have been told in about thirty minutes. I know audible is advertising this book as an excellent insight to the life of someone with a medical condition. I am honestly reviewing this book, so I will admit that I also have had a pituitary tumor. Having gone through many similar things the author describes, it was a huge let down to have listened...waiting to feel a connection with the author. I am not sure why he decided to narrate the book himself, but it is as bad as the content. His voice is monotone with no inflection and no passion about his own story. My husband asked me several times to please turn it off when he was home because of his extreme dislike of the author's voice. Also if you haven't had a pituitary tumor you will not understand what he is talking about when referring to procedures, medications, and adrenal crisis, which he says he has had but never explains what or why it is important. I know i have been harsh but please save your time, money, or credit for something else.
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47 people found this helpful