
The Jews
5,000 Years and Counting
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $17.19
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Peter Berkrot
-
By:
-
Rob Kutner
About this listen
A hilarious book for those with even the most basic level of Jewish knowledge, and perfect for those who want to know more.
The Jews: 5,000 Years and Counting is packed with Jew-facts, Jew-figures, and the original, never-before-seen documents from those who lived through Jewish history. Hear the transcript of the Biblical Patriarchs' and Matriarchs' Group Therapy Session! Sneak a peek at Moses's Secret Diary, or check out the awkward "I'm dumping you" text chain from Spain to the Jews in 1492! Collect and trade Rabbi Action Cards!
Covering every major moment in Jewish history from the literal "Beginning" to Tuesday's rerun of Seinfeld, this book will make you laugh. It might inadvertently make you learn. If you're Jewish, it will unquestionably give you something to kvetch about.
Critic reviews
"A delightful companion to the Torah, the Talmud, and every history book ever written about the Jewish people . . . a perfect book for anyone who has ever wondered how the heck the Jews got here and where the heck are we going and is it okay to laugh about it all? I'll follow Kutner to the answer." —Mayim Bialik, Actor, Author, Neuroscientist
Related to this topic
-
The Answer Is No
- A Short Story
- By: Fredrik Backman, Elizabeth DeNoma - translator
- Narrated by: Stacy Gonzalez
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lucas knows the perfect night entails just three things: video games, wine, and pad thai. Peanuts are a must! Other people? Not so much. Why complicate things when he’s happy alone? Then one day the apartment board, a vexing trio of authority, rings his doorbell. And Lucas’s solitude takes a startling hike. They demand to see his frying pan. Someone left one next to the recycling room overnight, and instead of removing the errant object, as Lucas suggests, they insist on finding the guilty party. But their plan backfires. Colossally.
-
-
Narrator doesn’t get Backman’s satire or rhythm
- By joey1603 on 12-01-24
By: Fredrik Backman, and others
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Stranded
- By: Chris Bruno, David Howard Lee, Shukri R. Abdi
- Narrated by: Taraji P. Henson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Blake Griffin, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
-
-
Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
-
Mel & Sue: Should Know By Now
- By: Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins
- Narrated by: Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We all have things in our life that we should know by now, but don’t. Absences in our knowledge and skillset that are frankly shameful in an adult. Things that would be too embarrassing to ask anyone to explain – except our very best friend. Listen in as Mel and Sue tackle their ignorance head on, asking each other to explain something that they still don’t know - but absolutely, as adults, should - from how to parallel park to fully understanding bread (why has it got all those holes in it? What, honestly, is yeast?).
-
-
Love is in the laughter
- By AC-M on 04-05-25
By: Mel Giedroyc, and others
-
The History of Sketch Comedy
- A Journey Through the Art and Craft of Humor
- By: Keegan-Michael Key, Elle Key
- Narrated by: Keegan-Michael Key
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Authors Keegan-Michael Key and Elle Key build on the popularity of their 2022 Webby Award-winning podcast and delve deeper into the world of sketch, helped along with new essays created expressly for the book by comedy greats.
By: Keegan-Michael Key, and others
-
The Answer Is No
- A Short Story
- By: Fredrik Backman, Elizabeth DeNoma - translator
- Narrated by: Stacy Gonzalez
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lucas knows the perfect night entails just three things: video games, wine, and pad thai. Peanuts are a must! Other people? Not so much. Why complicate things when he’s happy alone? Then one day the apartment board, a vexing trio of authority, rings his doorbell. And Lucas’s solitude takes a startling hike. They demand to see his frying pan. Someone left one next to the recycling room overnight, and instead of removing the errant object, as Lucas suggests, they insist on finding the guilty party. But their plan backfires. Colossally.
-
-
Narrator doesn’t get Backman’s satire or rhythm
- By joey1603 on 12-01-24
By: Fredrik Backman, and others
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Stranded
- By: Chris Bruno, David Howard Lee, Shukri R. Abdi
- Narrated by: Taraji P. Henson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Blake Griffin, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
-
-
Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
-
Mel & Sue: Should Know By Now
- By: Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins
- Narrated by: Mel Giedroyc, Sue Perkins
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We all have things in our life that we should know by now, but don’t. Absences in our knowledge and skillset that are frankly shameful in an adult. Things that would be too embarrassing to ask anyone to explain – except our very best friend. Listen in as Mel and Sue tackle their ignorance head on, asking each other to explain something that they still don’t know - but absolutely, as adults, should - from how to parallel park to fully understanding bread (why has it got all those holes in it? What, honestly, is yeast?).
-
-
Love is in the laughter
- By AC-M on 04-05-25
By: Mel Giedroyc, and others
-
The History of Sketch Comedy
- A Journey Through the Art and Craft of Humor
- By: Keegan-Michael Key, Elle Key
- Narrated by: Keegan-Michael Key
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Authors Keegan-Michael Key and Elle Key build on the popularity of their 2022 Webby Award-winning podcast and delve deeper into the world of sketch, helped along with new essays created expressly for the book by comedy greats.
By: Keegan-Michael Key, and others
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
The Franklin Stove
- An Unintended American Revolution
- By: Joyce E. Chaplin
- Narrated by: Cynthia Farrell
- Length: 14 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The biggest revolution in Benjamin Franklin’s lifetime was made to fit in a fireplace. Assembled from iron plates like a piece of flatpack furniture, the Franklin stove became one of the era's most iconic consumer products, spreading from Pennsylvania to England, Italy, and beyond. It was more than just a material object, however—it was also a hypothesis. Franklin was proposing that, armed with science, he could invent his way out of a climate crisis: a period of global cooling known as the Little Ice Age, when unusually bitter winters sometimes brought life to a standstill.
By: Joyce E. Chaplin
-
House of Lilies
- The Dynasty That Made Medieval France
- By: Justine Firnhaber-Baker
- Narrated by: Justine Firnhaber-Baker
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Historian Justine Firnhaber-Baker tells the epic story of the Capetian dynasty of medieval France, showing how their ideas about power, religion, and identity continue to shape European society and politics today. Reigning from 987 to 1328, the Capetians became the most powerful monarchy of the Middle Ages. Consolidating a fragmented realm that eventually stretched from the Rhône to the Pyrenees, they were the first royal house to adopt the fleur-de-lys, displaying this lily emblem to signify their divine favor and legitimate their rule.
-
On Air
- The Triumph and Tumult of NPR
- By: Steve Oney
- Narrated by: Stephen Graybill, Steve Oney
- Length: 21 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Founded in 1970, NPR is America’s most powerful broadcast news network. Despite being overshadowed by the larger and more glamorous PBS, public radio has long been home to shows such as All Things Considered, Morning Edition, and This American Life that captivate millions of listeners in homes, cars, and workplaces across the nation. NPR and its hosts are a cultural force and a trusted voice, and they have created a mode of journalism and storytelling that helps Americans understand the world in which we live.
By: Steve Oney
-
Holy Men of the Electromagnetic Age
- A Forgotten History of the Occult
- By: Raphael Cormack
- Narrated by: Dennis Kleinman
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The interwar period was a golden age for the occult. Spiritualists, clairvoyants, fakirs, Theosophists, mind readers, and Jinn summoners all set out to assure the masses that just as newly discovered invisible forces of electricity and magnetism determined the world of science, unseen powers commanded an unknown realm of human potential. Drawing on untapped sources in Arabic in addition to European ones, Raphael Cormack follows two of the most unusual and charismatic figures of this age.
By: Raphael Cormack
-
Homestand
- Small Town Baseball and the Fight for the Soul of America
- By: Will Bardenwerper
- Narrated by: Dan Bittner
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Batavia, New York—between Rochester and Buffalo—hosted its first professional baseball game in 1897. Despite decades of deindustrialization and evaporating middle-class jobs, the Batavia Muckdogs endured. When Major League Baseball cravenly shut them down in 2020—along with forty-one other minor league teams—the town fought back, reviving the Muckdogs as a summer league team comprised of college players.
-
Rot
- An Imperial History of the Irish Famine
- By: Padraic X. Scanlan
- Narrated by: Stephen Hogan
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1845, European potato fields from Spain to Scandinavia were attacked by a novel pathogen. But it was only in Ireland, then part of the United Kingdom, that the blight’s devastation reached apocalyptic levels, leaving more than a million people dead and forcing millions more to emigrate. In Rot, historian Padraic X. Scanlan offers the definitive account of the Great Famine, showing how Ireland’s place in the United Kingdom and the British Empire made it uniquely vulnerable to starvation.
-
-
Some new insights
- By Lynn on 03-15-25
-
The Franklin Stove
- An Unintended American Revolution
- By: Joyce E. Chaplin
- Narrated by: Cynthia Farrell
- Length: 14 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The biggest revolution in Benjamin Franklin’s lifetime was made to fit in a fireplace. Assembled from iron plates like a piece of flatpack furniture, the Franklin stove became one of the era's most iconic consumer products, spreading from Pennsylvania to England, Italy, and beyond. It was more than just a material object, however—it was also a hypothesis. Franklin was proposing that, armed with science, he could invent his way out of a climate crisis: a period of global cooling known as the Little Ice Age, when unusually bitter winters sometimes brought life to a standstill.
By: Joyce E. Chaplin
-
House of Lilies
- The Dynasty That Made Medieval France
- By: Justine Firnhaber-Baker
- Narrated by: Justine Firnhaber-Baker
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Historian Justine Firnhaber-Baker tells the epic story of the Capetian dynasty of medieval France, showing how their ideas about power, religion, and identity continue to shape European society and politics today. Reigning from 987 to 1328, the Capetians became the most powerful monarchy of the Middle Ages. Consolidating a fragmented realm that eventually stretched from the Rhône to the Pyrenees, they were the first royal house to adopt the fleur-de-lys, displaying this lily emblem to signify their divine favor and legitimate their rule.
-
On Air
- The Triumph and Tumult of NPR
- By: Steve Oney
- Narrated by: Stephen Graybill, Steve Oney
- Length: 21 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Founded in 1970, NPR is America’s most powerful broadcast news network. Despite being overshadowed by the larger and more glamorous PBS, public radio has long been home to shows such as All Things Considered, Morning Edition, and This American Life that captivate millions of listeners in homes, cars, and workplaces across the nation. NPR and its hosts are a cultural force and a trusted voice, and they have created a mode of journalism and storytelling that helps Americans understand the world in which we live.
By: Steve Oney
-
Holy Men of the Electromagnetic Age
- A Forgotten History of the Occult
- By: Raphael Cormack
- Narrated by: Dennis Kleinman
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The interwar period was a golden age for the occult. Spiritualists, clairvoyants, fakirs, Theosophists, mind readers, and Jinn summoners all set out to assure the masses that just as newly discovered invisible forces of electricity and magnetism determined the world of science, unseen powers commanded an unknown realm of human potential. Drawing on untapped sources in Arabic in addition to European ones, Raphael Cormack follows two of the most unusual and charismatic figures of this age.
By: Raphael Cormack
-
Homestand
- Small Town Baseball and the Fight for the Soul of America
- By: Will Bardenwerper
- Narrated by: Dan Bittner
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Batavia, New York—between Rochester and Buffalo—hosted its first professional baseball game in 1897. Despite decades of deindustrialization and evaporating middle-class jobs, the Batavia Muckdogs endured. When Major League Baseball cravenly shut them down in 2020—along with forty-one other minor league teams—the town fought back, reviving the Muckdogs as a summer league team comprised of college players.
-
Rot
- An Imperial History of the Irish Famine
- By: Padraic X. Scanlan
- Narrated by: Stephen Hogan
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1845, European potato fields from Spain to Scandinavia were attacked by a novel pathogen. But it was only in Ireland, then part of the United Kingdom, that the blight’s devastation reached apocalyptic levels, leaving more than a million people dead and forcing millions more to emigrate. In Rot, historian Padraic X. Scanlan offers the definitive account of the Great Famine, showing how Ireland’s place in the United Kingdom and the British Empire made it uniquely vulnerable to starvation.
-
-
Some new insights
- By Lynn on 03-15-25
-
Baltic
- The Future of Europe
- By: Oliver Moody
- Narrated by: Kaffe Keating
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Baltic's time has come. It is not only critical to Europe's security and increasingly a centre of political and military power in its own right; it is a reservoir of ideas and experiences that could shape the continent's future. This books explores the history, their culture, their peculiarities and national dilemmas of all nine Baltic countries. At its core is a search for fresh answers to Europe's problems, at a point where the continent's previously dominant powers appear tired and divided.
By: Oliver Moody
-
The Next One Is for You
- A True Story of Guns, Country, and the IRA's Secret American Army
- By: Ali Watkins
- Narrated by: Jennifer Woodward
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Northern Ireland, 1975. Violence has erupted on the streets of Belfast. After years as a guerilla army, the IRA is clashing with Loyalist gangs and heavily armed British soldiers. But the Troubles have spilled beyond the island: An ocean away, in the heart of Philadelphia’s Irish enclave, a teenage girl finds a letter in her mailbox. Inside is a bullet, and the message is clear: The next one is for you or your family. As reporter Ali Watkins reveals, the conflict in Northern Ireland might have gone very differently had it not been for a small ragtag band of gunrunners in the United States.
By: Ali Watkins
-
Rebel Queen
- The Cold War, Misogyny, and the Making of a Grandmaster
- By: Susan Polgar, Yasser Seirawan - foreword
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A real life Queen’s Gambit, this captivating memoir tells the story of one of the most renowned women in chess history, Susan Polgar, taking on a sexist establishment, standing up to an authoritarian empire and rewriting the rules of what women could achieve against the oppressive backdrop of Cold War Eastern Europe.
By: Susan Polgar, and others
-
Trespassers at the Golden Gate
- A True Account of Love, Murder, and Madness in Gilded-Age San Francisco
- By: Gary Krist
- Narrated by: Rob Shapiro
- Length: 11 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shortly before dusk on November 3, 1870, just as the ferryboat El Capitan was pulling away from its slip into San Francisco Bay, a woman clad in black emerged from the shadows and strode across the crowded deck. Reaching under her veil, she drew a small pistol and aimed it directly at a well-dressed man sitting quietly with his wife and children. The woman fired a single bullet into his chest. “I did it and I don’t deny it,” she said when arrested shortly thereafter. “He ruined me and my daughter.”
-
-
Fascinating story
- By evboy on 03-17-25
By: Gary Krist
-
Notorious
- Portraits of Stars from Hollywood, Culture, Fashion, and Tech
- By: Maureen Dowd
- Narrated by: Maureen Dowd
- Length: 16 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shining a white-hot spotlight on America’s famous, from Hollywood legends to Broadway stars to media moguls, Notorious is a captivating assortment of columnist Maureen Dowd’s most compelling style features and profiles. Using her signature wit and incisive commentary as a scalpel, Dowd dissects influential cultural elite.
-
-
I thought I loved Maureen Dowd!
- By Ellen Randall on 03-29-25
By: Maureen Dowd
-
The Mist
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Will Patton
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the wake of a destructive Maine summer thunderstorm, an impenetrable mist descends from the direction of a local military facility and infiltrates the small town of Bridgton. David Drayton and his son, Billy, are dragged into a living nightmare as unnatural and violent forces concealed by the mist begin to emerge, wreaking havoc in their wake.
-
-
Great story, but DON’T BUY IT!
- By Malibu on 08-31-19
By: Stephen King
What listeners say about The Jews
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Mike
- 03-19-25
Informative and Entertaining
This is your funny grandpa who won't ever bore you while recounting 5,000 years of Jewish history and culture, of which humor plays an integral part.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!