The Love Song of Jonny Valentine
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Kirby Heyborne
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By:
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Teddy Wayne
About this listen
For fans of A Visit from the Goon Squad and Joyce Carol Oates’ Blonde, here is a scathing and enthralling new novel about America’s monstrous obsession with fame from the winner of a 2011 Whiting Writers’ Award.
Megastar Jonny Valentine, 11-year-old icon of bubblegum pop, knows that the fans don’t love him for who he is. His image, his voice, and even his hairdo have been packaged - by his LA label and by his hard-partying manager-mother - into bite-size pieces for easy digestion, sliding down the gullet of mass culture, the biggest appeal to the widest demographic. But somewhere inside the relentless marketing machine is still a little boy, devoted to his mother and determined to find his absent father among the countless, faceless fans - isn’t there?
A twisted, brilliant, and viciously funny coming-of-age story set inside corporate arenas and luxury hotel suites, Teddy Wayne’s The Love Song of Jonny Valentine explores with devastating clarity the underbelly of fame in 21st-century America’s celebrity culture, told through the eyes of one of the most unforgettable child narrators since Holden Caulfield. This novel is a literary masterpiece from the award-winning and critically acclaimed author of Kapitoil - one of the standout writers of his generation.
Teddy Wayne is the award-winning author of Kapitoil and a journalist who contributes to a variety of national publications.
©2013 Teddy Wayne (P)2013 Blackstone Audio, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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The Silver Linings Playbook
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Quick
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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During his years in a neural-health facility, Pat Peoples has formulated a theory about silver linings. He believes that his life is a movie produced by God, that his mission is to become physically fit and emotionally supportive, and that if he succeeds, his happy ending will be the return of his estranged wife, Nikki. When Pat goes to live with his parents, everything seems changed: no one will talk to him about Nikki, and his new therapist seems to be recommending adultery as a form of therapy.
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WARNING: FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL!
- By Jennifer on 03-06-15
By: Matthew Quick
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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The Fame Game
- By: Lauren Conrad
- Narrated by: Jenna Lamia
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In Hollywood, fame can be found on every corner and behind any door. You just have to know where to look for it. Nineteen-year-old Madison Parker made a name for herself as best frenemy of nice-girl-next-door Jane Roberts on the hot reality show L.A. Candy. Now Madison's ready for her turn in the spotlight and she'll stop at nothing to get it. Sure, she's the star of a new show, but with backstabbing friends and suspicious family members trying to bring her down, Madison has her work cut out for her.
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One of the best narrators I've ever heard!
- By Kindle Customer on 05-09-17
By: Lauren Conrad
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Act Cool
- By: Tobly McSmith
- Narrated by: Shaan Dasani
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Aspiring actor August Greene just landed a coveted spot at the prestigious School of Performing Arts in New York. There’s only one problem: His conservative parents won’t accept that he’s transgender. And to stay with his aunt in the city, August must promise them he won’t transition.
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Would recommend
- By LindsayPrower on 05-04-22
By: Tobly McSmith
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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It's Kind of a Funny Story
- By: Ned Vizzini
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Ambitious New York City teenager Craig Gilner is determined to succeed at life-which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job. But once Craig aces his way into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School, the pressure becomes unbearable. He stops eating and sleeping until, one night, he nearly kills himself.
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Really bad story
- By Nora on 08-20-18
By: Ned Vizzini
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Stay Gold
- By: Tobly McSmith
- Narrated by: Theo Germaine, Phoebe Strole
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Pony plans to fly under the radar this year. Tired of getting too much attention at his old school after coming out as transgender, he’s hoping for a fresh start as a Hillcrest High senior. But it’s hard to live your best life with the threat of exposure lurking around every corner. Georgia is beginning to think there’s more to life than cheerleading. She just wants to keep a low profile until graduation...which is why she promised herself that dating is a nonstarter for the foreseeable future.
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Must Read
- By Khoula on 08-17-20
By: Tobly McSmith
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Size 12 Is Not Fat
- A Heather Wells Mystery
- By: Meg Cabot
- Narrated by: Sandy Rustin
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Heather Wells rocks! Or, at least, she did. That was before she left the pop-idol life behind after she gained a dress size or two - and lost a boyfriend, a recording contract, and her life savings (when Mom took the money and ran off to Argentina). Now that the glamour and glory days of endless mall appearances are in the past, Heather's perfectly happy with her new size 12 shape (the average for the American woman!) and her new job as an assistant dorm director at one of New York's top colleges.
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If you are over 30, pass this by.
- By Laura on 05-20-18
By: Meg Cabot
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The Best in the World
- At What I Have No Idea
- By: Peter Thomas Fornatale, Chris Jericho
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The Best in the World chronicles some of the incredible and often preposterous highlights of Jericho's recent career, including how Mickey Rourke challenged Jericho to a match then backed out; his escape from the 2010 Icelandic volcanoes in a broken-down, European rental-car shuttle; his encounters with Bob Barker, Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Al Sharpton, and Mike Tyson; and his on-again, off-again relationship with WWE chief Vince McMahon.
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Among the Best Wrestling Autobiographies
- By VC on 09-04-16
By: Peter Thomas Fornatale, and others
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
What listeners say about The Love Song of Jonny Valentine
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dyan D.
- 10-24-20
Tiresome
I felt sorry for Johnny because he had no friends and no life, but was annoyed for most of the book with his shallow narcissism. I was bored with his constant inner conversations about the same shallow things.
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- Sand
- 03-19-13
Witty & entertaining commentary on pop culture
What did you love best about The Love Song of Jonny Valentine?
I was reluctant to try this one--the subject didn't thrill me--but a NYT book review convinced me to take a chance and I'm so glad I did. Writing from the point of view of a fictional Justin Bieber-type tween idol, the author is able to gleefully skewer the entertainment industry at every turn (his take on music reviewers had me laughing out loud) while still managing to make you care--very much-- about everyone involved.
What other book might you compare The Love Song of Jonny Valentine to and why?
I also recently listened to A Hologram for the King and The Financial Lives of poets, both of which, like Jonny V, were excellently crafted and well-narrated fictionalized commentaries on contemporary life.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
While Jonny is pretty easy to love, I found the portrayal of his mother to be unexpectedly moving. There's a lot to dislike about her (and her real-life counterparts), but as her flaws and circumstances are revealed, it's hard not to admire her initiative and innate business sense.
Any additional comments?
If you're looking for enjoyable/listenable well-written contemporary fiction, I highly recommend this one.
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3 people found this helpful
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- David
- 03-22-13
Kids and Grown-Ups
Jonny Valentine is an amazing creation, an 11-year-old pop superstar with a combination of naivete, ambition, sincerity and street smarts--at least about the music business and what it takes to be successful. Teddy Wayne has created a deeply sympathetic character, a boy genius (in his field) surrounded by grown-up handlers who themselves have mixed emotions and motivations, using Jonny while also trying to help him grow. There are touching moments where Jonny's loneliness on his American tour comes through, but also laugh-out-loud moments. Some of the most moving scenes involve Jonny's interactions with kids around his own age, a childhood friend, a budding female singer that could be Jonny's first crush.
After a while, Jonny began to remind me of Huck Finn, another lonely kid traveling the country, trying to handle the world on his own and dealing with manipulative and often selfish adults with humor and increasing maturity. But Huck didn't have video games to distract him.
The narrator has just the right tone, conveying Jonny's longings and his youthful innocence. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and its narration.
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3 people found this helpful