The Making of A Man (and Why We're so Afraid to Talk About It)
Myths of Race, Sex and Masculinity
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Narrated by:
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Obioma Ugoala
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By:
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Obioma Ugoala
About this listen
“A blisteringly honest take on contemporary Britishness that manages to be both nuanced and shocking. Highly recommended.” Afua Hirsch, author of Brit(ish)
You’re a black man.
Aggressive. Athletic.
Feared. Fetishised.
Policed. Politicised.
It’s limiting. It’s tiring. And it’s not true.
What makes a man in the 21st century? For generations ‘being a man’ has meant behaving in a very particular way. It has meant being strong, sexually assertive and overtly heterosexual. Assumptions around masculinity have been the root cause of countless problems which, to this day, continue to affect the whole of society.
When the question of masculinity intersects with race, these assumptions too often mutate into pernicious prejudice in ways that are particularly damaging for the men themselves. In this groundbreaking and revealing book, actor, activist and writer Obioma Ugoala – a man of mixed Nigerian and Irish heritage – examines the ways in which his life has been affected by people failing to address their own prejudices about what they conceive a Black man to be.
As well as talking about these – often shocking – experiences he take a broader cultural and historical view to challenge notions of race and masculinity that have over centuries become embedded in British society, poisoning the public discourse and blighting people’s lives.
With unflinching honesty and deep humanity, this unique and important book challenges us all to face our personal failings while offering a vision of a more positive future if we dare to do better.
When first published as The Problem with My Normal Penis the book met resistance from some who considered the title unnecessarily provocative. In this updated edition, Ugoala addresses the reception his book received and the light this shed on the very issues of race and masculinity that he was addressing.
‘Whipsmart and refreshingly vulnerable. In this book, Obioma Ugoala brilliantly exposes the systems and the individuals that have long perpetuated dangerous and irresponsible ideals around Blackness and masculinity.’ Candice Carty-Williams, author of Queenie
"A valiant venture of a book that is somehow both tender memoir and unflinching excavation of the sociological blights that affect both self and society. Looking outward, inwards and forward, it lucidly explores complicated truths. Hopeful and honest, uncomfortable and encouraging, it is a book this country needs." Bolu Babalola, author of Love in Colour
“An urgent, personal, compassionate book that never backs away from the difficulty of what we are facing but provides a forgiving mirror and a useable map so we can truly reflect & navigate. Obioma Ugoala’s treatise should be a set text for a world in crisis.” Deborah Frances White
'In his enquiring memoir, he astutely explores where the expectations of his race and masculinity meet, unpicking and challenging his past experiences of prejudice. His personal stories are told in the context of the wider culture, and the book is a compassionate rallying cry to be more conscious.' Evening Standard©2022 Obioma Ugoala (P)2022 Simon & Schuster, UK
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Story
Justin Trudeau has spent his life in the public eye. From the moment he was born, the first son of an iconic prime minister and his young wife, Canadians have witnessed the highs and the lows, sharing in his successes and mourning with him during tragic times. But few beyond Justin's closest circle have heard his side of his unique journey. Now, in Common Ground, Justin Trudeau reveals how the events of his life have influenced him and formed the ideals that drive him today.
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Mesmerizing
- By emilia on 05-04-18
By: Justin Trudeau
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Covering
- The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights
- By: Kenji Yoshino
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone covers. To cover is to downplay a disfavored trait so as to blend into the mainstream. Because all of us possess stigmatized attributes, we all encounter pressure to cover in our daily lives. Given its pervasiveness, we may experience this pressure to be a simple fact of social life. Against conventional understanding, Kenji Yoshino argues that the demand to cover can pose a hidden threat to our civil rights.
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Humane Advocacy in Law and Life
- By Patroclus Menoetius on 07-27-20
By: Kenji Yoshino
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Fully Alive
- Discovering What Matters Most
- By: Timothy Shriver
- Narrated by: David Drummond
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when we are all more rudderless than ever, we look for the very best teachers and mentors to guide us. In Fully Alive, an unusual and gripping memoir, Timothy Shriver shows how his teachers have been the world's most forgotten minority: people with intellectual disabilities. In these pages we meet the individuals who helped him come of age and find a deeper and more meaningful way to see the world.
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Eye opening book
- By Robert J. Herman on 06-05-15
By: Timothy Shriver
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How to Be Black
- By: Baratunde Thurston
- Narrated by: Baratunde Thurston
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from "How to Be the Black Friend" to "How to Be the (Next) Black President" to "How to Celebrate Black History Month". This is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all Black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply "how to be".
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Funny yet insightful!
- By Theodore on 02-15-12
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If the Oceans Were Ink
- An Unlikely Friendship and a Journey to the Heart of the Quran
- By: Carla Power
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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If the Oceans Were Ink is Carla Power's eye-opening story of how she and her longtime friend, Sheikh Mohammad Akram Nadwi, found a way to confront ugly stereotypes and persistent misperceptions that were cleaving their communities. Their friendship - between a secular American and a madrasa-trained sheikh - had always seemed unlikely, but now they were frustrated and bewildered by the battles being fought in their names.
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WAY TOO LONG-but good material
- By teri_novabern on 07-30-16
By: Carla Power
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A Bound Man
- Why We Are Excited About Obama and Why He Can't Win
- By: Shelby Steele
- Narrated by: Richard Allen
- Length: 3 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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From the New York Times best-selling and controversial author Shelby Steele comes an illuminating examination of the complex racial issues that confront presidential candidate Barack Obama in his race for the White House, a quest that will be one of those galvanizing occasions that forces a national dialogue on the current state of race relations in America.
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The Masks We Wear
- By C. Matthew Hawkins on 09-01-20
By: Shelby Steele
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The Republic of Imagination
- America in Three Books
- By: Azar Nafisi
- Narrated by: Mozhan Marnò
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Blending memoir and polemic with close readings of her favorite novels, she describes the unexpected journey that led her to become an American citizen after first dreaming of America as a young girl in Tehran and coming to know the country through its fiction. She urges us to rediscover the America of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and challenges us to be truer to the words and spirit of the Founding Fathers, who understood that their democratic experiment would never thrive or survive unless they could foster a democratic imagination.
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Love
- By Rebecca on 05-29-16
By: Azar Nafisi
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The Opposite of Hate
- A Field Guide to Repairing Our Humanity
- By: Sally Kohn
- Narrated by: Sally Kohn
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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As a progressive commentator on Fox News and now CNN, Sally Kohn has made a career out of bridging intractable political differences, learning how to talk civilly to people whose views she disagrees with passionately. Famously "nice", she even gave a TED Talk about what she termed emotional correctness. But these days, even Kohn has found herself wanting to breathe fire at her enemies. It was time, she decided, to look into the ugliness erupting all around us.
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Profoundly insightful, important, and digestible.
- By Scott on 04-24-18
By: Sally Kohn
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Angry White Men
- American Masculinity at the End of an Era
- By: Michael Kimmel
- Narrated by: Aaron Williamson
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the enduring legacies of the 2012 Presidential campaign was the demise of the white American male voter as a dominant force in the political landscape. On election night, after Obama was announced the winner, a distressed Bill O'Reilly lamented that he didn't live in "a traditional America anymore". He was joined by others who bellowed their grief on the talk radio airwaves, the traditional redoubt of angry white men. Why were they so angry?
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Interesting book; Wrong reader
- By Carolina A. Miranda on 05-02-18
By: Michael Kimmel
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Radical
- My Journey out of Islamist Extremism
- By: Maajid Nawaz
- Narrated by: David Linski
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Maajid Nawaz spent his teenage years listening to American hip-hop and learning about the radical Islamist movement spreading throughout Europe and Asia in the 1980s and '90s. At 16, he was already a ranking member in Hizb ut-Tahrir, a London-based Islamist group. He quickly rose through the ranks to become a top recruiter, a charismatic spokesman for the cause of uniting Islam's political power across the world.
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Insightful and Enlightening. Blown Away by Radical
- By oneofmanymonkeys on 04-29-16
By: Maajid Nawaz
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Excellent Daughters
- The Secret Lives of Young Women Who Are Transforming the Arab World
- By: Katherine Zoepf
- Narrated by: Katherine Zoepf
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than a decade, Katherine Zoepf has lived in or traveled throughout the Arab world, reporting on the lives of women, whose role in the region has never been more in flux. Only a generation ago, female adolescence as we know it in the West did not exist in the Middle East. There were only children and married women. Today, young Arab women outnumber men in universities, and a few are beginning to face down religious and social tradition in order to live independently, to delay marriage, and to pursue professional goals.
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Best book on Middle East written this decade
- By Zuzana B on 07-02-17
By: Katherine Zoepf
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Life Beyond Measure
- Letters to My Great-Granddaughter
- By: Sidney Poitier
- Narrated by: Sidney Poitier
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Abridged
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Sidney Poitier is one of the most revered actors in the history of Hollywood. He has overcome enormous obstacles in extraordinary times and is a role model for many Americans because of his convictions, bravery, and grace. Poitier reflects on his amazing life in Life Beyond Measure, offering inspirational advice and personal stories in the form of extended letters to his great-granddaughter.
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Mix of family history and life advice.
- By Adam Shields on 10-31-19
By: Sidney Poitier
What listeners say about The Making of A Man (and Why We're so Afraid to Talk About It)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- LynnS
- 03-08-23
Enlightening and Thoughtful
The book really gave me, a white woman, a lot to ponder concerning stereotypes, inequality, and the systemic nature of privilege. I’m recommending this to my friends, particularly the audiobook.
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