With or Without You
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Domenica Ruta
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By:
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Domenica Ruta
About this listen
A haunting, unforgettable mother-daughter story for a new generation - the debut of a blazing new lyrical voice
Domenica Ruta grew up in a working-class, unforgiving Italian town north of Boston where in the seventeenth century women were hanged as witches. Her mother, Kathi, a notorious figure in this hardscrabble place, was a drug addict and sometime dealer whose life swung between welfare and riches, whose highbrow taste was at odds with her base appetites. And yet she managed, despite the chaos she created, to instill in her daughter the idea that art - via a classic film or a classical education - could transcend this life of undying grudges, self-inflicted misfortune, and the crooked moral code that Kathi and her cohorts lived by. With or Without You is the story of Domenica’s unconventional coming of age - a darkly hilarious chronicle of a misfit ’90s childhood and the necessary and painful act of breaking away, and of overcoming her own addictions and demons in the process. In a brilliant stylistic feat, Domenica Ruta has penned a powerful, inspiring, pause-resisting, and finally redemptive story about loving and leaving.
©2013 Domenica Ruta (P)2013 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Kenya Curtis is only eight years old, but she knows that she's different, even if she can't put her finger on how or why. It's not because she's black - most of the other students in the fourth-grade class at her West Philadelphia elementary school are, too. Maybe it's because she calls her father - a housepainter-slash-philosopher - "Baba" or because her parents' friends gather to pour out libations "from the Creator, for the Martyrs" and discuss "the community".
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Loved It!!!
- By ayodele higgs on 05-20-15
By: Asali Solomon
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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Lit
- A Memoir
- By: Mary Karr
- Narrated by: Mary Karr
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Lit follows Mary Karr's descent into the inferno of alcoholism and madness - and her astonishing resurrection. Karr's longing for a solid family seems secure when her marriage to a handsome, Shakespeare-quoting poet produces a son they adore. But she can't outrun her apocalyptic past. She drinks herself into the same numbness that nearly devoured her charismatic but troubled mother, reaching the brink of suicide. A hair-raising stint in "The Mental Marriott" awakens her to the possibility of joy, and leads her to an unlikely faith.
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Finally! One for the "Win" column
- By Kim on 03-22-10
By: Mary Karr
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Breaking Night
- A Memoir of Forgiveness, Survival, and My Journey from Homeless to Harvard
- By: Liz Murray
- Narrated by: Liz Murray
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-12
By: Liz Murray
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The Boy Kings of Texas
- A Memoir
- By: Domingo Martinez
- Narrated by: Emilio Delgado
- Length: 13 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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A lyrical and authentic book that recounts the story of a border-town family in Brownsville, Texas in the 1980s, as each member of the family desperately tries to assimilate and escape life on the border to become "real" Americans, even at the expense of their shared family history. This is really un-mined territory in the memoir genre that gives in-depth insight into a previously unexplored corner of America.
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It was Okay
- By DebKoo on 05-17-13
By: Domingo Martinez
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Saints for All Occasions
- A Novel
- By: J. Courtney Sullivan
- Narrated by: Susan Denaker
- Length: 15 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Nora and Theresa Flynn are 21 and 17 when they leave their small village in Ireland and journey to America. Nora is the responsible sister; she's shy and serious and engaged to a man she isn't sure that she loves. Theresa is gregarious; she is thrilled by their new life in Boston and besotted with the fashionable dresses and dance halls on Dudley Street. But when Theresa ends up pregnant, Nora is forced to come up with a plan - a decision with repercussions they are both far too young to understand.
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The narration ruined it
- By Janis Reynolds on 06-12-17
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I'm Supposed to Protect You from All This
- A Memoir
- By: Nadja Spiegelman
- Narrated by: Nadja Spiegelman
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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For a long time, Nadja Spiegelman believed her mother was a fairy. More than her famous father, Maus creator Art Spiegelman, and even more than most mothers, hers - French-born New Yorker art director Françoise Mouly - exerted a force over reality that was both dazzling and daunting. As Nadja's body changed and "began to whisper to the adults around me in a language I did not understand", their relationship grew tense.
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Aweful
- By Haley Abreu on 07-05-17
By: Nadja Spiegelman
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Smashed
- Story of a Drunken Girlhood
- By: Koren Zailckas
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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From earliest experimentation to habitual excess to full-blown abuse, 24-year-old Koren Zailckas leads us through her experience of a terrifying trend among young girls, exploring how binge drinking becomes routine, how it becomes "the usual". With the stylistic freshness of a poet and the dramatic gifts of a novelist, Zailckas describes her first sip at 14, alcohol poisoning at 16, blacked-out sexual experience at 19, and total disorientation after waking up in an unfamiliar New York City apartment at 22.
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Smashed
- By John Riggs on 07-14-05
By: Koren Zailckas
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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The Other Side
- A Memoir
- By: Lacy M. Johnson
- Narrated by: Lacy M. Johnson
- Length: 4 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Lacy Johnson bangs on the glass doors of a sleepy local police station in the middle of the night. Her feet are bare; her body is bruised and bloody; U-bolts dangle from her wrists. She has escaped but not unscathed. The Other Side is the haunting account of a first passionate and then abusive relationship; the events leading to Johnson's kidnapping, rape, and imprisonment; her dramatic escape; and her hard-fought struggle to recover.
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Wow
- By katherine on 04-21-15
By: Lacy M. Johnson
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Marrow
- By: Tarryn Fisher
- Narrated by: Audra Pagano
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Margo is not like other girls. She lives in a derelict neighborhood called the Bone, in a cursed house, with her cursed mother, who hasn't spoken to her in over two years. She lives her days feeling invisible. It's not until she develops a friendship with her wheelchair-bound neighbor, Judah Grant, that things begin to change. When a neighborhood girl, seven-year-old Neveah Anthony, goes missing, Judah sets out to help Margo uncover what happened to her. What Margo finds changes her, and with a new perspective on life she's determined to find evil and punish it.
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HUH?? I'm so confused LOL
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 09-15-16
By: Tarryn Fisher
What listeners say about With or Without You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Hilary
- 10-12-15
It's About Time
I have owned this audio book for 1.5 years. I have officially re-downloaded this book to my iPod three times, so I figure I should talk about why.
I usually chose biographies. memoirs or autobiographies about people who are known to me. So, it was by chance that I gambled on Domenica Ruta. I'm certain it was the reviews of others that convinced me it was worth the risk.
I love this book. Even though I can only commiserate on a small scale with Domenica, as my family's dysfunction pales in comparison to hers and I never (thankfully) developed a dependency on mood altering substances. I can't even confidently say that Domenica has completely overcome her demons and is on a really healthy path, but she is a survivor, a chameleon and has become a seemingly successful human against all odds. Others would have caved and followed the family dynamic, while she chose to see things for what they were, make better choices and extract herself from the chaos in which she was raised and trained.
Why I think this book is amazing is because it is raw, honest and detailed. Domenica's voice is the only one that could have read this story properly. I don't consider her monotone (as another reviewer suggests) she speaks evenly, but impassioned and her gritty tone is the perfect vehicle. Her memories are vividly recalled, as anyone, especially a child couldn't forget what her eyes have seen.
Again, I love this book.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Courtney
- 03-02-13
A real and riveting story-beautifully written
This book makes up for every dud I have listened to on audible. The author is unflinching, unyielding in her description of the insanity and chaos she grew up in, yet she doesn't ask for the reader's sympathy or pity. The love-hate-fear triad she feels for her drug-addicted mother is what makes the story so compelling. As in real life, this book is all shades of gray. A mother who neglects her child, shares drugs with her child, turns a blind eye to sexual abuse, but at the same time is determined to secure the best education for her. A mother who seems to care only about getting high and being in love, yet turns a small, failing business into a million dollar enterprise. And then loses it all to drugs.
The author does an incredible job at portraying a relationship fraught with ambivalence and fear. She has an overwhelming love for her mother, yet prays for her death so as to release her from the bondage of codependency and pain. The redemption comes when the author's instinct for self-preservation appears and she begins the journey to find her authentic self.
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18 people found this helpful
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- Maureen McDaniel
- 07-23-13
Jaw-dropping, riveting, amazing book
What made the experience of listening to With or Without You the most enjoyable?
The story moves beautifully between time frames. The writing is full of vivid, shocking imagery, with creative and original phrases.
What about Domenica Ruta’s performance did you like?
The author's voice is compelling and she reads her own work so very well.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes, because I could hardly stop listening!
Any additional comments?
I can't wait for more from Domenica Ruta. She is a fascinating and truly gifted writer.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Mikaela
- 03-02-15
I hope this author writes more...soon!
Wow! Unable to put this book down from beginning to end! In some ways, I can relate to the author but in many ways, I just feel compassion for her. I hope to read more of her stories. Great narration, too-easy to listen to her voice inflections matching her emotions.
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- Athena Evans
- 10-28-22
I loved this book
The author uses her words to paint each person and scene from her life in a beautiful, yet painful, poetic way. I felt that I was able to relate to the author many times throughout the book. Small moments were described so perfectly, it brought tears to my eyes, and at the end, she wrapped it up beautifully.
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- Mandy P
- 05-16-13
Unbelievably Good
This audio book was the best I've heard in a long time. What an amazingly sad yet upbeat story. This book hit me on a very personal level, one which I wish I had the gift to share articulately. But, for me, a story this visceral is beyond description.
Reminiscent of Glass Castle, but better.
I started listening and did not stop until it was over.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Ken
- 05-03-17
Powerful, redemptive, darkly beautiful
If you could sum up With or Without You in three words, what would they be?
Heartbreaking and hopeful.
What was one of the most memorable moments of With or Without You?
Domenica's mother intentionally avoids talking with her daughter about a sexual assault in order to protect her own psyche.
Which character – as performed by Domenica Ruta – was your favorite?
Domenica herself. She manages to overcome so much, simply through her own wit and determination.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I did both...Ms. Ruta goes beyond a mere coming of age story set in difficult circumstances. She gives us a clear picture of what goes on in the mind of a gifted child who must surmount very difficult circumstances and she does it with beautiful, introspective prose and a good dose of humor.
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- Gigi
- 12-19-22
Powerful sleeper
This was a powerful well-written story. Her lyrical way with words and phrases made me run and jot them down to repeat myself. I love her writing and I hope she continues.
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- Mel
- 03-05-13
All too common and insidious tale
You know this story; you may be living it -- or your neighbor is, your friends, your family. You no longer have to attend AA, NA, ALANON, to hear this kind of horror story because addicition is no respecter of persons and infects us all in some way, or will. When I was working in my profession, I heard worse stories, and I don't doubt many of you could unfortunately tell a darker version of Ruta's journey. (It breaks my heart.)
This was not exactly what I had expected after reading some summaries. I mistakenly thought Ruta was someone of whom we were socially or publicly aware that had revealed an unexpected past. I haven't found any information about Domenica Ruta other than that she is a Survivor--which absolutely doesn't diminish the relevance of her book. What gives this book credence is the fact that Ruta is bravely telling it; adding another voice to both the issue and Hope, because if you have faced this monster in some form, you know that Hope needs constant reaffirming, and the conquering deserves praise and support. Overall a very readable, well written, and engaging story worth the time. Great achievement Ruta, and best wishes for continued success.
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14 people found this helpful
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- E. Golladay
- 03-15-13
Wow! My Mom Never Looked Better!
Domenica Ruta rose above a troubled, scary childhood, and although she probably carries a lot of baggage, it looks like she turned out ALL RIGHT! She is a fantastic narrator and could have a career doing that if she wanted to, Very clear, strong voice with humor. This was a good story very well told.
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3 people found this helpful