Dear Mama,

What if I told you Black mamas aren’t superheroes, that the cape is choking us, and our backs are brittle? What if I told you motherhood ain’t killing us, though, but the narratives we buy into hook, line, and sinker are? What if you had the option not to be the primary custodial parent? Would you decline out of obligation to the belief that a good Black mama would never choose to leave their children in the care of others, even the other parent? How does a Black mother respond when what’s best for her or her destiny clashes with cultural norms?

In this Mother’s Day episode, I shared my journey with Dem Black Mamas Podcast about the complexities and challenges of non-custodial parenting and Black motherhood. When Erica and her husband decided to divorce, they also agreed to shared custody. Each parent would have primary custody for 3 years of their son Maxwell who was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy 10 years ago.

We dive into:

• Confronting societal norms and cultural stigmas
• Navigating health and care decisions for children with special needs as a noncustodial parent
• Historical trauma and Black motherhood
• Renegotiating Black motherhood

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🗣️Engage: This is a conversation. Speak back to us! Share your thoughts about the episode using the hashtag #DemBlackMamas, DM us or email us at magic@demblackmamas.com.

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