Episodes

  • Where Are We Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)

    Where Are We Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
    Nov 4 2024

    It's our podcast anniversary! We're celebrating this year by taking a look back (well, listen back!) at old episodes and seeing how our lives have changed.

    We want to hear from YOU! How has your life changed since you started listening to the podcast? Send us a DM on Instagram, either using text if you want us to read your update, or a voice note if you want us to include your voice in the episode!

    :::

    This episode is sponsored in memory of Frank! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.

    Frank's family wanted to give a shout-out to the Roberts Program, which investigates sudden unexpected death in pediatrics. (We love the Roberts Program!)

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    41 mins
  • Live with the Sad Dads Club (Insta Live Replay)

    Live with the Sad Dads Club (Insta Live Replay)
    Oct 28 2024

    About a year ago, Judith and Alina joined Rob and Chris of the Sad Dads Club for a super fun and casual Instagram live!

    We talked about the legacy of our respective loss work (ALAIL and SDC), how our grief has changed over the years, finding a grief support tribe, and so much more.

    If you'd rather watch this Instagram live, you can do so HERE!

    We'll be back with a regular episode next week!

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - The Sad Dads Club (website, Instagram)

    - ALAIL | The Sad Dads Club

    - ALAIL | Father's Day Wishes from the Sad Dads Club

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    52 mins
  • Abortion Access for All (A Rant Before the US Election)

    Abortion Access for All (A Rant Before the US Election)
    Oct 21 2024
    This week's episode was originally going to be about many things, but once we got started, we realized that there is one topic that we needed to talk about: abortion. We discuss the implications of restrictive abortion laws, the personal nature of abortion decisions, and the importance of voting to influence reproductive rights. We cannot emphasize enough the need for equitable access to this very important type of healthcare. Two notes: 1. If discussing abortion access is triggering to you because of the nature of your loss (i.e. TFMR), we welcome you to skip this one. It is all we talk about. 2. If you support limiting or eliminating access to abortion and would like to discuss this with us, we are open to that, but please use our Instagram DMs instead of a public comment. We do not want the folks in #1 to have any more exposure to these viewpoints than they already do. ::: Previous episodes of As Long As I'm Living about abortion or TFMR: - Abortion is Healthcare - TFMR is Baby Loss, with Hadley's Mom Jill - When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa - Maliyah's Story, as told by her mom, Emily - When Your Pregnancy is Killing You, an interview about TFMR with Emily, Maliyah's Mom Abortion Information and Resources: - Guttmacher Institute - CDC Abortion Findings and Reports - AbortionFinder.org - Center for Reproductive Rights US Voting Resources: - Vote.gov - Vote.org ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you! ::: As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    37 mins
  • Life Update: Something To Lose

    Life Update: Something To Lose
    Oct 14 2024

    Are we... happy?

    Welcome to our most recent life update, where we talk about how completely, permanently fucked up we are... and also how much joy we have in our lives in a way we haven't since Aiden and Quinn died. Both/and.

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - ALAIL | Opening a Time Capsule (and the Instagram post where you can see Judith and Aiden at the coffee shop)

    - ALAIL | The One Where Judith Made a New Friend, an interview with Judith's friend Mel

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    38 mins
  • The Circle of Loss, an interview about paying grief support forward with Marnina, Michal's Mom

    The Circle of Loss, an interview about paying grief support forward with Marnina, Michal's Mom
    Oct 7 2024
    Meet Marnina! Judith and Marnina have known each other for 15 years... but they didn't really know each other until they each lost a baby. Judith lost Aiden first, and when Marnina lost her daughter Michal the next year, Judith became a lifeline for her. This was incredibly meaningful for Judith, who had needed so much care and support from others over the previous year and finally got a chance to pay it forward. Now, Marnina is a few years out, and she channels the way Judith cared for her as she pays it forward to the newly bereaved in her community. The circle of loss is a devastating, beautiful thing. ::: This episode is sponsored in memory of Harper, on her second birthday. You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living ⁠here⁠. Harper's mom Erin wanted to shout out a few organizations that have been meaningful to her since Harper's loss: - @KindermournCLT: KinderMourn is an absolute lifesaver for families who have lost children. They have an annual Duck Race every year that celebrates all babies gone too soon. - @Madelynsfund: Madelyn's Fund supports NICU families in NC and SC. They paid our funeral costs when Harper died. - @SaylorsStory sends beautiful, meaningful comfort bags to Moms. - @MotherofWilde - creates the most beautiful prints. We have one hanging in our front foyer of our sweet girl. - @evolvehealthclt_supportgroup is a monthly group in Charlotte open to moms who have been through any type of loss. Dr. Sydney Fenton is a huge advocate here for the loss community and the group has brought some amazing moms together. You can connect with Harper's Mom (and receive a free copy of the resource guide she's put together for loss parents for Harper's first birthday) here: Harpershopefuls@gmail.com ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you! ::: As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    51 mins
  • Already a Mom

    Already a Mom
    Sep 30 2024

    In case you missed it, Alina is pregnant! And it's hard.

    She went on a vacation a few weeks ago and faced her first "pregnancy after loss" gauntlet of questions that were well-meaning but ultimately extremely triggering. Listen to find out how she dealt with it, and to hear what advice Judith has for her and others in similar situations.

    :::

    This episode is sponsored in memory of baby Arthur! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living here.

    Arthur's favorite book: The Moon is Always Round

    Lyndi asked us to shout-out her favorite loss organization, Return to Zero Hope!

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    34 mins
  • Bumpy Start, an Alive Baby NICU Story

    Bumpy Start, an Alive Baby NICU Story
    Sep 23 2024

    Judith gave birth to her baby boy a few weeks ago, and while the birth was smooth... the subsequent hours and days were not. It was extremely traumatic for both Judith and Alina, who were acutely reminded that babies can and do die.

    Thankfully, Judith's son got great care and is alive and well, and they are adjusting to life at home as a family of 5ish (2 adults, 1 dead child, 2 living children, and 1 dog).

    This episode was recorded on the day after Judith's birth, while she was in the hospital, and it was all very fresh. We hope you enjoy this episode, but it is pretty raw, and for those with NICU trauma may be triggering. As always, please take good care of yourself and only listen if it feels safe for you.

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    38 mins
  • Quinn is 4... and a big brother!

    Quinn is 4... and a big brother!
    Sep 16 2024

    Yes, this is a pregnancy announcement ♥️

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - ALAIL | Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie

    - ALAIL | First Time Moms for the Second Time, More About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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    32 mins