Back to the Barre

By: Christi Lukasiak & Kelly Hyland
  • Summary

  • OG Dance Moms Christi (@christilukasiak) & Kelly (@kellylhyland) take us back to the barre with this weekly podcast, recapping Dance Moms episodes and sharing never-before-heard behind the scenes stories.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    2022
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Episodes
  • The Big Purple Dinosaur
    Oct 28 2024

    "I feel that every Dance Moms episode from this point forwards should just be called like Abby Hates Us or Abby Screws Us Over." says Christi as Abby begins to push her luck by asking the moms to start promoting online to find replacements FOR THEMSELVES on Season 4's "Abby Strikes Back".


    The first open auditions for the ALDC are this week and Abby has not been making it easy for anyone, except for the Ziegler family of course as Abby states Maddy is the only child not up for replacement. Abby requests that the moms start promoting the auditions on twitter, which Holly calls out for being callous since who would want to help ensure their own demise? But even though only Holly said it out loud, it's clear to all the moms that things have gotten quite bad and are only getting worse. Jill consequently gets hung up on the previous week's competition order snafu, arguing Christi intentionally sabotaged the situation for her daughter's benefit. As we noted in the last episode this simply wasn't true and all it serves to do is pit the moms against one another instead of Abby.


    The Orlando auditions get underway with the Zieglers attending to help scout talent, however no other family agreed to do this for the same reason they wouldn't promote it. But Abby begins antagonizing some of the moms who get snippy with her, going as far to start singling out their children for ridicule and blaming their parents. Amongst the crowd are many future ALDC members, but was it really the first time Abby was meeting these girls? Or was there some off-screen shenanigans informing who got a leg up? Tune-in to find out!


    Quotes

    • “I cried every time we had to walk into Studio A. Like Nnnoooooo! Noooo! I don't like it. It's terrible Studio A is where dreams are crushed and souls are smooshed." (30:53-31:03 | Christi)
    • “We're not tweeting to replace our own daughters are we? Cause that's a little awkward. I agree Holly and yes we are." (36:39-36:45 | Kelly)
    • “I mean I get that you need to learn how to use a mic, but not during a bathing suit dance. " (40:49-40:55 | Kelly)
    • “Fallon has this whole TikTok about how this was a set-up. Oh really!? Yes because she said that she met Abby when she was 8 which was like 3 years before. She was always doing Abby's mater classes in Orlando." (58:56-59:11 | Christi & Kelly)


    Links

    Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w


    Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre


    Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510


    Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak


    Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • You Got the Win, Now We're Going to Replace You
    Oct 21 2024

    "I am not a Dance Moms fan. I hate watching it!" mourns Christi, as even when she does nothing at all production manages to spin a scenario to get her in trouble with Abby. As the second half of "Two Can Play This Game" gets underway there is some confusion about the line-up of solo performances at competition. Jill had been under the impression that Kendall would be performing last, but Kendall is actually first up. Christi is also concerned about Chloe's placement and what the cameras don't show is that production explicitly told the moms the wrong performance order. While Christi admits she would personally prefer Chloe to perform last, she takes issue with how the show frames the matter as it will be used against her in the near future.


    But Abby personally is only concerned about showing up Cathy, so much so that when Leslie starts to argue in the audience Abby orders Leslie to shut up. Leslie cannot comprehend why Abby is treating her with disrespect, somehow not realizing this is what the rest of the moms always go through. While the ALDC performs well with the judges Abby keeps up the criticisms, because some things never change no matter how much you do what Abby wants!

    Quotes

    • “That is the one benefit to having a C-section is I don't pee myself. I'm like an 18 year old down there. Oh gross!” (1:18-1:28 | Christ & Kelly)
    • “They're chanting Cathy's name. Cause usually when we come out they'll be shouting Chloe or Maddie, but with Cathy you never know who she's bringing. So you can't really scream for the kids because she always has a different team." (15:20-15:35 | Kelly)
    • “I think you just said something mean. Well I didn't say I wanted a kid to lose! Well you called them the B-Team so you basicaly said they suck and you're better than them. THEY ARE THE B-TEAM! The show is Dance Moms about the ALDC, [Cathy's team] is the the B-Team. Convince me otherwise Kelly!" (24:04-24:21 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “I just want to point out that we can see that you have a coffee cup in the audience, just saying. Of course. Yours you always hid under the seat. I don't know if I hid it. If I had a coffee cup, you had a coffee cup! Yeah cause here is how it would go down: It would be lunch and Kelly would go I'm ready for wine how about you? And I'd be like yep and that was about it." (30:50-31:10 | Christi & Kelly)


    Links

    Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w


    Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre


    Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510


    Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak


    Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    48 mins
  • You Suck, Go!
    Oct 14 2024

    "Abby says to Chloe that she has the dancer's body. She has the look. Your technique shines through, you can nail it no matter what. listen to that positive shit! Hu huh. I'm willing to bet you Kelly that that's what she said to Maddie and they edited it so she says it to Chloe. She would never say that to Chloe," admits Christi reluctantly. Even when the show is seemingly throwing our beloved bitches a bone it's never that easy. Not helping the matter is Abby is using Chloe as a pawn in her little game on the Pyramid for "Two Can Play This Game".


    Even though Kendall led the trio that took first in last week's competition, she is placed lower than Chloe on the Pyramid. The only reasoning seems to be that it'll make Jill upset with Christi and set-up a solo face off between Chloe and Kendall at this week's competition. But these mind games take second place to Abby's primary focus, the return of Cathy and her Candy Apples.


    Cathy is determined to take back the limelight after loosing to Abby at nationals, but Cathy's team has had more time to prep since they don't have to film a TV show. So Abby dedicates extra days for the girls to learn the group dance, and threatens that if they can't beat Candy Apples then she might as well replaces the whole team!


    Quotes

    • “You said you're going to be Miss Piggy [for Halloween], I'm being a dumpster fire. I think that's going to be the most appropriate thing I can be. You can be a dumpster picker like me!” (1:43-1:50 | Christ & Kelly)
    • “It was really cute because the girl who was helping me, you could tell she knew who I was and she was kind of fan-girling. And I was like, 'Ok listen, I don't know how to check this,' and she was like, 'I know I listen to the podcast.'" (9:03-9:16 | Christi)
    • “I just want to point out that this competition was like invented for Dance Moms, now it's freaking huge! Huge! Oh really? They have like 40 to 70 competitions per year or some crap. Oh my I didn't know that. Yeah, so I just want to say you're welcome." (12:14-12:31 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “This is where [Abby] turned to production and screamed: This is stupid because Kendall has dark hair and should be Katy Perry and Chloe is blond and should be Lady Gaga. This is dumb, dumb, dumb! Whose stupid idea was this?!" (20:10-20:26 | Christi)


    Links

    Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w


    Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre


    Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510


    Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak


    Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    49 mins

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YASSSS

I love both of yall and fall asleep listening to yalls voices every night cuz there so comforting. 🫶 I am always and 4eavr a bitchet!!!

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Omggg..I've been WAITING for this!

Looking forward to next week! You two were always my favorites💜🙌🙌 I've literally been patiently awaiting this moment since the end of the series! Good luck to you both, loved the content!

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Love it!

it's so refreshing to listen to the mom's now. I've rewatched the show so many times now. and I see everyone in such a different light and can see everyones point of view! these two women are my favorite after holly!

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Big fan

Although these two might curse a lot they are so entertaining i love you guys

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Yass

loved learning inside information. Abby was kinda mean. I fall asleep listening to this then I have to relisten.

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