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Beat Motel Zine

Beat Motel Zine

By: Andrew Culture
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About this listen

Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music's funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit! Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we'll prove it to you. Warning, episodes contain creative profanities in the vein of The Thick of It.Andrew Culture Music
Episodes
  • Bands we'd get in a fight over, with Martin Whiskin
    Jul 7 2025

    If you’ve never been ready to square up in a Spoons car park over your favourite band, are you even a real music fan? In this unreasonably passionate episode, Andrew is joined by the charmingly volatile Martin Whiskin as they dive fists-first into the bands they’d get into an actual fight over. Expect tales of local legends, rag-tag riffs, posh ska punks, and very specific ball-based analogies.

    Featuring bands that should’ve made it, bands that did, and bands no one's heard of (but somehow still inspired violence), the duo unpack the emotional landmines hidden in guitar feedback. Andrew laments the trauma of his first kiss being ruined by Guns N’ Roses, and Martin outs himself as the Medway scene’s unofficial enforcer.

    Subhumans, Ruben, Waldo’s Gift, Russian Circles, Inner Terrestrials, Lupen Crook and the Murderbirds, The Hold Steady... they’re all here, along with a few others you'll pretend you always knew about.

    Come for the music chat, stay for the emotional damage.



    ### Riffs of the week


    #### Martin Whiskin's Riff

    - And So I Watch You From Afar - North Coast Megafauna

    #### Andrew's Riff

    - Waldo's Gift - Candifloss (LIVE)


    ### Martin Whiskin's track choices

    1. Lupen Crook and The Murderbirds - Lest We Connect

    2. Ruben - No One Wins The War

    3. The Hold Steady - Your Little Hoodrat Friend

    4. Hundred Reasons - I'll Find you


    ### Andrew's track choices

    1. Subhumans - Apathy

    2. Inner Terrestrials - Enter the dragon

    3. Russian Circles - Fathom

    4. Against Me - Those Anarcho Punks Are Mysterious


    Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com


    Frank Turner interview

    https://beatmotel.com/interviews/frank-turner-interview-beat-motel/

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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Bands We Wish We Were In (For Beer, Glory & Ridiculous Haircuts)
    Jun 30 2025

    Ever looked at a band and thought, "Yeah, I'd ruin that with my presence"? Well, so have we. This week on Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by the mighty Oli as they dive headfirst into the chaotic world of bands they wish they'd been in.

    From the sleek, suited swagger of Interpol to the beer-soaked riff factories of Gentleman's Pistols, we ramble through a weird and wonderful landscape of musical desires. Expect tales of porn ties, Led Zeppelin’s airborne fireplaces, and discovering why having a drum machine made from bits of a broken toaster is the height of musical cool.

    We also reflect on the importance of looking like a band, the magic of weird basslines, and why being in a band is just clinging to your mates while pretending it's not all a colossal waste of time. Plus, we settle the age-old debate: Would you rather play Glastonbury or the Steamboat in Ipswich?

    Buckle up. It’s a trip.



    ### Riffs of the week


    #### Oli's Riff

    - Faraquet - Cut Self Not

    #### Andrew's Riff

    - Patristic - Catechesis


    ### Oli's track choices

    1. Young Marble Giants - Eating Noddemix

    2. Interpol - Heinrich Manevour

    3. Led Zepellin - No Quarter

    4. Beach Boys - Little Pad


    ### Andrew's track choices

    1. Axes - Junior

    2. Gentlemans Pistols-Comfortably Crazy

    3. Prolapse - Headless in a beat motel

    4. Blur - Won't do it


    Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

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    1 hr and 3 mins
  • Kin Heavy Tunes
    Jun 23 2025

    In this ear-bleeding episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by Dan Callis for a deep dive into the heavy, the noisy, and the downright daft corners of modern metal and punk. If you're here for thoughtful analysis, jog on. This is a celebration of volume, riffs, and the bands that make you question your own taste.

    Starting off with tech issues and a healthy dollop of despair at podcasting platforms, our lads quickly launch into a barrage of riffs. Callis brings the chaos with the likes of Big Ass Truck (yes, that’s a real band and no, they’re not subtle), while Andrew goes full nostalgic riff nerd with Pelican.

    They dish out praise (and some sass) for local legends Dude Smell, debate whether Babymetal is genius or Eurovision in disguise, and unleash rage at the fascist-flirting metalheads of yore. There's a surprise orchestral metal pick from Callis (are we feeling okay?), a hilarious tale involving Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe getting locked out, and general beef with Google, Spotify, and algorithmic inshitification.

    Tracks from Teeth, Stray from the Path, The Haunted, and Ironstone also make an appearance in what is possibly the least coherent but most entertaining playlist you’ll encounter this month.

    If you like your podcasts raw, sarcastic, and filled with two blokes yelling about blast beats and gig etiquette, you’re in for a treat.



    ### Riffs of the week


    #### Callis's Riff

    - Bring me the horizon - Wonderwall

    #### Andrew's Riff

    - Dudesmell - Fatal Attraction


    ### Calliss track choices

    1. Big Ass Truck - Big Ass Truck

    2. Teeth - Blue and cold

    3. Ironstone - Forgive me anew

    4. Stray from the path - Fuck them all to hell


    ### Andrew's track choices

    1. Pelican - Gulch

    2. Sylosis/Heriot - The Path

    3. The Haunted - Warhead

    4. Purified in blood - Primal pulse thunder


    Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

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    46 mins
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