This episode was sparked by a comment from a TikTok comment which said, “I stopped saying yes all the time and masking so much - and now I have no friends.” Ooft. I felt that. And my honest response? Were they ever really your friends? Or did they just benefit from you always keeping the peace?

Today, we’re diving into what happens when you stop people pleasing - especially after becoming a Mum - and realise that the “connections” you had might’ve been built on a version of you that was just trying to survive. Because Motherhood? It cracks you wide open. You meet a new version of yourself - protective, powerful, real - and suddenly, all the shit you used to tolerate? You can’t anymore.

I’m unpacking what people pleasing actually is (spoiler: it’s not kindness, it’s a mask), where the conditioning starts, and why so many women feel completely alone when they finally stop performing for acceptance. We’ll explore the grief, the loneliness, the “WTF is happening to my friendships?” moments - and more importantly, what’s waiting for you on the other side.

This isn’t about staying small to keep the peace. This is about reclaiming your voice, your needs, your space - and building connection from a place of truth, not performance.

And if you’re in the thick of this shift and feeling the ache of lost friendships or disconnection, I’ve got something for you: My Free Connection Guide. It’s the starting point to rebuild connection - not just with others, but with yourself.

Send me a message - I'd love to chat!

Want to keep the conversation going?

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/canwefkntalk_pod

Or follow my business page: https://www.instagram.com/_ashscrivener/

In this episode of Can We Fkn Talk?, I welcome back the incredible Lurinda for part two of her story - a no-filter, deeply vulnerable journey through separation, solo parenting, personal growth, and ultimately rekindling her relationship.

We unpack the raw truth of what it really looks like to choose yourself in the messiest seasons - navigating solo Motherhood, facing the possibility of never having your own biological children, confronting past traumas, and slowly rebuilding a new kind of love after heartbreak.

Lurinda shares how shadow work became a pivotal part of her healing and how understanding her own nervous system and identity helped her re-enter her relationship from a grounded and self-aware place.

We also touch on:

• The hard decision to stay when core values start to mis-align.
• Doing the work for yourself, not your partner.
• The messy beauty of rebuilding trust after breakdown.
• Navigating Motherhood, ADHD, PMDD, and intimacy with compassion.
• What healthy co-parenting can really look like - even through a pandemic.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost yourself in love or wondered if there’s a way back after it all falls apart - this episode is for you.

Connect with Lurinda:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/perspectivebylurinda/

Retreat: https://www.instagram.com/surrenderretreats/

Send me a message - I'd love to chat!

Want to keep the conversation going?

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/canwefkntalk_pod

Or follow my business page: https://www.instagram.com/_ashscrivener/

In this episode of Can We Fkn Talk?, I sit down with the incredible Lurinda Vollmer, who shares her deeply personal journey into Motherhood - starting as a step-Mum at just 21. We talk about what it’s like to suddenly be parenting kids who aren’t yours biologically, the emotional rollercoaster of navigating trauma and young adulthood at the same time, and how loving two little girls shaped the way she later parented her son.

Lurinda opens up about the heartbreaking moment she was told she might not be able to have children, the complex decision she faced when her partner said he was done having kids, and the shock of finding out she was pregnant when she least expected it. We talk about the grief that comes with fertility uncertainty, the mental load of parenting, and the reality of functional freeze - and how she rebuilt herself from the ground up.

This is a raw, honest, and empowering episode for any parent who’s ever felt like they were figuring it out as they go - and for every woman who’s had to choose herself, even when it felt impossibly hard.

Connect with Lurinda:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/perspectivebylurinda/

Send me a message - I'd love to chat!

Want to keep the conversation going?

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/canwefkntalk_pod

Or follow my business page: https://www.instagram.com/_ashscrivener/