It's 25 years since the release of David Fincher's movie Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is, of course, never to discuss Fight Club.

Matt and Graham disagree. More couples should talk about fighting. Arguments happen. The trick is to make sure you fight well.

Cultivating good relationships is like learning a new language: there are certain grammatical "rules" to guide you; practice makes perfect; making mistakes is a key part of getting better. But we often mistakenly assume we just absorb those skills during our early lives.

Today, Matt and Graham explore skills we need to learn along the way to get better at relationships and how to learn to put aside some of the learning we did in our childhood homes ("we never argue in this house", "when things get difficult, doors get slammed" etc.) and lean into the differences our partners bring to the table.

Along the way, the delve deeper into some of the specific skills we could all do with practicing to improve our relationships.

The star-cross'd lovers, Romeo and Juliet, are often held up as paragons of a romantic ideal. But are they really?

Today, Matt and Graham have a look at the mistakes we make in love: the assumption that there should be "the one" who "completes" us; the idea that the intensity of teenage love should continue into adulthood; the concept that we should simply accept relationships becoming stale and boring.

Along the way, they have a look at the behaviours that need to be fixed to lead to more fulfilling relationships and talk about what "imperfect love" looks like.

Some references in this episode:

The wonderful Before Sunset trilogy of movies by Richard Linklater: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112471/

Love's Executioner by Irvin Yalom: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Loves-Executioner-Irvin-D-Yalom/dp/014197544X

Irwin Hirsch on "imperfect love": https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15240650701518532