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Question: My wife and I adopted a newborn baby almost 3 years ago and we could not be happier. Now that he is getting a little older, he is talking and starting to understand things. My question is how can we best normalize his adoption with him? I know it is better for kids to grow up with everyone being open with him and his adoption so it feels like now is a good time to start. But I am not sure how to that with an almost 3-year-old. For context, we do not have any contact with the birth family. We send updates and pictures to the agency, but they have not expressed interest in having contact with us. This always seemed like an avenue to start that conversation (you have a birth family and an adoptive family). Without that, I’m not sure how to start talking to him about adoption. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Resources:

• Talking about Adoption, Part 1: Talking with 0-5 Year Olds (Article)
• Talking with Kids about Adoption (Resource page)
• Talking with Kids about Birth Parents (Suggested Books for Young Kids)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Many prospective adoptive families feel anxious about the home study. Our guest, Sheila Kowit, is an adoption social worker with Adoptions From the Heart. She prepares home studies for both domestic infant and international adoptions. She explains what the process is like, what you can expect, and what you will learn in the home study process.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is an adoption home study?
  • Is it possible to get one home study that can be used with all types of adoptions: domestic infant, foster care, and international adoption?
• What is the purpose of the adoption home study?
• At what point in the adoption process is the home study usually done in domestic infant adoption?
  • In international adoption?
• How long does it take to complete an adoption home study in domestic infant adoption?
  • In international adoption
• How much does an adoption home study cost for domestic infant adoption?
  • For international adoption
• What information can the prospective adoptive parents expect to compile for a domestic infant adoption home study? How does this differ for international adoption?
  • Medical history
  • Statements of income and assets
  • Autobiographical statements
  • References
• What, if any, are the physical health concerns:
  • For international adoption, consult our Adoption Comparison Charts
  • Do you have to have a current physical?
  • What to do about getting a medical physical if you don’t have a regular primary doctor. Can you go to Urgent Care clinics or Minute Clinics for an adoption physical?
• Can you do domestic infant adoption if you or your partner/spouse has a mental health diagnosis? What about international adoption?
  • For international adoption, consult our Adoption Comparison Charts
• Criminal background concerns for domestic infant adoption? For international adoption?
  • DUIs, misdemeanors, expunged records?
  • It is important to be honest and share it all with your social worker.
• What gets included in the financial portion of the home study for domestic infant adoption? For international adoption?
  • Income, liabilities, and assets assessment
  • Documentation necessary
  • Check country listings at our Adoption Comparison Charts or USCIS Intercountry Adoption Information
• Writing your personal history for a domestic infant? And for international?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I had a swift match and placement in December. When we were presented with the case, all that was reported for drug use was smoking 12 cigarettes a day. After about a month of trying to get medical records from the hospital for my pediatrician, I discovered my baby’s meconium tested positive for meth. This lab test resulted on Monday, and we were released from the hospital the Friday before, so no one told us about this result. The agency got me the medical records and didn’t mention them when sending them to me. I was also told the birth mom had prenatal care when the medical records say spotty prenatal care. I was shocked when I came across the lab results. We met both of my son’s birth parents a couple of times while in the hospital and had good visits. My husband is usually very good at identifying people on drugs, but he didn’t suspect anything was amiss. We met our son’s siblings, and they all seemed well cared for. My son also did not appear to go through withdrawals. He was never in the NICU and was released from the hospital 2 days after birth. He was of a healthy weight and had excellent Apgar scores. I know I would have passed on this case if I knew meth was involved and so in a way this is a blessing because I love my son and am so glad we were selected to parent him, but I feel some trust has broken between us and his birth parents. I text them weekly with photos and small updates, but I can’t help but feel a little resentful (to both the birth parents and the agency). How do you suggest I deal with this situation?

Resources:

• Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure (Resource page)
• Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)
• Creating a Family Online Support Group

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building