In this episode, we embark on a catharsis regarding bosses who change their minds, can’t make a decision or jerk us around.

When bosses change their minds it impacts us as workers. These changes mean we often redo our work or work we have done becomes unnecessary. This impacts the meaningfulness of our work - and what was useful work is often not meaningful work when we just need to redo it. The impact of mind changing can also make us feel disregarded and not valued - and demoralizing.

Implicit - and maybe obvious - in changing a decision is there is change and change is hard and lots of change can really mean chaos.

What are some approaches to managing situations when it seems like direction from those above us is changing? Harvard Business Review suggests a “tee-up” with what changes in process, events and decisions have occurred that led to how your team got to a particular place - through whatever circuitous journey. Another idea is to ask questions about the change, which can help us understand how we got to the place and may provide useful feedback to your boss. Bosses do not have all of the information we have and communicating that can be helpful.

And it may be you just need a cocktail or a hot bath - or both - because change and revisiting work can be exhausting especially when it happens again and again.

Thinking about making a career change? Feeling stuck in your job? Curious how to change directions, after you’ve spent years (or decades!) building your career? You’re not alone. According to an Indeed survey, the average age for people making a drastic career change is 39. The leading cause? Happiness.

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, we discuss signs that indicate it might be time to consider a career pivot, such as persistent unhappiness, lack of motivation, health implications, increased comparisons to peers, and reticence towards career commitments. We also share Crina's story of feeling burnt out and uninspired in her job, prompting her to consider a change.

Of course there are ways to make a successful career pivot, especially when you focus on the "working identity" approach. Instead of following the conventional wisdom of knowing what you want to do next before taking action, we explore why doing comes before knowing in the process of career change. And of course there are pitfalls of relying on self-knowledge, advice from friends and family, and consultations with career professionals when considering a career pivot.

Tune in to learn more about how to navigate a career pivot successfully, what to expect after making a change, and how to build a new working identity that brings more happiness and fulfillment. Thank you for listening!

GOOD READS

A Mid-Life Career Shift Is Not a Crisis — Here’s Why You Should Consider One & How to Pull It Off

How much work is too much work? Can you ever turn it off? We’re exploring the roots of workaholism, its impact on our lives, and—most importantly—what to do about it.

What is Workaholism? The term was coined by psychologist Wayne E. Oates back in 1971, likening chronic overwork to addiction. Just like any other addiction, workaholism can interfere with our health, happiness, and relationships. So, how do we know if we’re truly addicted to work or just really engaged? The answer lies in the motivation behind the grind.

Could this be you?

Sometimes we overwork because of external circumstances such as financial problems, distraction from an unsatisfying marriage, or maybe pressure from our workplace. The differentiating feature of real workaholism from similar behaviors is the excessive involvement of the individual in work when it is not required or expected.

Norwegian researchers the University of Bergen created a work addiction scale which uses the following seven criteria to assess the likelihood that an individual possesses a work addiction:

1. You think of how you can free up more time to work.
2. You spend much more time working than initially intended.
3. You work in order to reduce feelings of guilt, anxiety, helplessness and/or depression.
4. You have been told by others to cut down on work without listening to them.
5. You become stressed if you are prohibited from working.
6. You deprioritize hobbies, leisure activities, and/or exercise because of your work.
7. You work so much that it has negatively influenced your health.

If you answered with “often” or “always” to any of these points, you may be a workaholic. And if we are agreeable, neurotic, intellectual or imaginative, we are more likely

People identified as workaholics often ranked high in terms of these three personality traits:

• Agreeableness – Workaholics are more likely to be altruistic, compliant and modest.
• Neuroticism – Workaholics tend to be nervous, hostile, and impulsive.
• Intellect/imagination -Workaholics are generally inventive and action oriented.

But what to do about it?

• Redefine “urgent”
• Reinvent the to-do list
• Learning to say “no” and delegate
• Fixing the workaholic clock
• Controlling rumination
• Embracing rest and recovery
• Psychological detachment.
• Physical activity.
• Relaxation.
• Mastery experiences (which mitigates the inclinations around workaholism)

Our lives are too precious to be consumed with work. While work is fun and rewarding - it is not all things, so let’s not get caught in workaholism or even workaholic behaviors.

A survey by LLC Inc. of over 1000 people across the US with an average age revealed that 83% of us have coworkers who annoys us, 21% have been so annoyed by a coworker they have considered quitting, and 52% say annoying coworkers prevent them from doing their best work. Yowza - that is something. And what don’t we like about our coworkers? We do not like complainers, laziness, arrogance (our personal favorite), too much talking, negativity, entitlement (okay so maybe this is our favorite), poor communication, oversharing, or gossipping.

So, what do you do when you’re stuck working with someone you dislike? There are some good strategies, but first, get some perspective. How much does it matter and are there ways of looking at it differently?

What to do:

As always, the person we control is ourselves, so when we have feelings of dislike for a coworker, looking inward can be very helpful. Do you let your brain run with every little incident? What do our reactions say about us?

Here is the hard one - be the grown up. The emotionally intelligent grown up. We can stay away from the resentment spiral and remove ourselves from unproductive conversations.

Work very hard to find something you like or admire. People are rarely just one thing and we can usually find something to like or admire.

Being anything less than respectful ends up leaving us with metaphorical egg on our faces. Try compassion and respect - who knows, we may find ourselves surprised by the person we dislike.

If we feel pretty confident with checking in with ourselves, being the grown up, seeing the good and embracing compassion and respect, we will find ourselves in connection, which of course is the big payoff.

And if we cannot get to connect, then we can be strategic about how we expose ourselves, which includes being very intentional about what we need from the interactions we really have to have with the coworkers we do not like.

Not everyone we work with needs to be our friend or even someone we like. While it sure is great when it happens, we can work well when we respect others and ourselves.

Survey Reveals the Most Annoying Coworker Habits - LLC.org

How to Work with Someone You Really Don’t Like

Unpack the magic of saying “yes” more often, the beauty of spontaneous connections, and why your next best decision might just be unplanned. Even at work!

Most of us pride ourselves on our planning – we are prepared, we are ready for anything and we are efficient and effective – BUT, let’s consider the unplanned.

Spontaneity According to Webster’s Dictionary, spontaneity is “without constraint, effort, or premeditation, unplanned or impromptu.” Spontaneous shows our openness, flexibility and our confidence in our ability to handle something new or unexpected.

Why You Need More Spontaneity in Your Life A poll by OnePoll for Cub Cadet, a tractor company, found Americans make an average of 18 spontaneous decisions per day. Those who identify as spontaneous are more likely to be happy, content, and even stress-free. We’re talking about major decisions here too: spontaneous job changes, last-minute vacations, or adopting that adorable rescue dog.

Tiny Acts of Spontaneity at Work Spontaneity isn't just for your personal life; it’s for work. Spontaneity boosts creativity and enhances problem-solving. The 10 minute walk you take may lead to a fresh brain and a great conversation with a colleague who you see when you walk in the door. We exercise our agency in the moment and we are refreshed and ready.

Barriers to Spontaneity Lots of things get in the way of our spontaneity. Fear of the unknown, a need for control, or others’ expectations can make being spontaneous feel uncomfortable. But here’s a challenge: free up a couple of hours this week, leave it unplanned, and see where your mood takes you. Even blocking free time in your calendar, which is kind of a plan, to see where our hearts and mind take us counts because of the spontaneity in the moment. Spontaneity is the ultimate form of agency, folks. It’s about trusting ourselves to handle whatever comes your way.

How to be more spontaneous: 7 tips to live in the moment — Calm Blog.

From the sexualized Kamala t-shirts to the way women are treated in areas such as caregiving, menstruation, and menopause, misogyny is pervasive in our society.

Misogyny is defined as the hatred, contempt, or prejudice against women or girls, which keeps them at a lower social status than men, perpetuating the social roles of patriarchy. Misogyny can manifest in obvious and subtle ways, affecting women in various aspects of their lives.

Feminist scholars like Andrea Dworkin and Kate Manne have shed light on the insidious nature of misogyny in our culture. Dworkin argues that society regards women as contemptible and subjects them to violence and discrimination, while Manne describes misogyny as a shock collar that enforces women's subordination in a patriarchal society.

The demographics most affected by misogyny is also alarming, with BIPOC women experiencing its effects in conjunction with racism. From medical research to athletics and law enforcement, examples of misogyny in plain sight illustrate the lack of value placed on women in our society.

Finally, there’s the importance of fighting misogyny in the workplace, advocating for oneself, and celebrating International Women's Day. There are so many amazing women and influential figures like Drew Afualo, who uses her platform to combat misogyny and empower women.

Join us as we unravel the complex web of misogyny, sexism, and patriarchy, and explore ways to challenge these harmful ideologies in our daily lives.

Good Reads:

Misogyny - Wikipedia

Kate Manne: The Shock Collar That Is Misogyny

Celebrating International Women’s Day! [2024 DEI Resources] | Diversity for Social Impact

How Misogyny Became Part of Our Culture & Workplaces | InHerSight

How to Fight Misogyny in the Workplace | Inc.com

As if FOMO were not enough, now we consider FOBO, or the fear of obsolescence, in this climate of ever changing technology.

SHOW NOTES

Obsolescence is a reduction in our competence as an employee resulting from a lack of knowledge of new work processes, techniques, and technologies that have developed since we completed our education - and that we have somehow missed out on acquiring. As humans we have been becoming obsolete since we stood up on two feet - the hunter gatherers became farmers, the farmers became factory workers and the factory workers have become technology and service industry workers. We know how to do this - on the macro level, as an economy and society.

Trucking is a great example of worker obsolescence. In the early 20th century, truck drivers replaced the cart and horse for deliveries and now the promise of self-driving trucks, making truck drivers obsolete, has done a couple of things in the market - truckers are generally older and the wages have risen according to NPR.

The mysterious threats and impacts of workforce obsolescence : NPR. Older workers with less time in the workforce are willing to keep or go into these jobs, but younger workers with more time to work are far less willing to enter an occupation that may very well go away.

According to a recent Gallup Poll 22% of workers are worried that technological advancements will make their jobs obsolete, a 7% jump since 2021. The increase is being driven "almost entirely" by college-educated workers. The Gallup data shows that men and women currently express equitable trepidation levels when it comes to being replaced by technology. Good to know there is some equity in FOBO!

Fearing obsolescence is not just self-doubt, rather, we fundamentally question our ability to participate in the workforce. When we experience this kind of fear, it can affect our behavior at work and our experience of ease, meaning and joy. In a study of counterproductive work behaviors, researchers found some common counterproductive work behaviors in workers who were experiencing FOBO: attention-seeking behavior; being hypervigilant; and drawing unhealthy comparisons. We can counteract FOBO by focusing our efforts on training - either for the current job or a new one; taking on new opportunities, saying yes and telling yourself the truth about your skills and your current job and its future - and being willing to consider what is next.

MORE GOOD READS

How to Stop Worrying About Becoming Obsolete at Work (hbr.org).

U.S. Workers Face Growing Fears Of Becoming Obsolete— Here’s How You Can Fight Back Against ‘FOBO

’Face Your Fear of Becoming Obsolete

Questions are vital in all interactions as they transform the mundane into the mysterious and reveal what we don’t know. They’re the Swiss Army knife of communication, spurring learning, innovation, trust, and even mitigating business risks.

SHOW NOTES

Asking great questions isn’t just for consultants and lawyers (aka Crina and Kirsten). It’s a universal skill that makes you more likable, empathetic, and approachable. This ability fosters better decisions and collective intelligence, whether you’re a marketing guru or a freelance artist.

Per the norm, we find gender issues embedded in question asking. Men and women use questions differently. Men often ask fewer questions interpersonally but more in professional contexts. Women, however, are less likely to ask questions in high-stakes professional settings but more in personal conversations. A 2018 study found women were less likely to ask questions in academic seminars, often due to feeling less confident or intimidated by the speaker. Interesting, yes?

There are all kinds of questions and it is good to get clear about these when asking questions.

Investigative Questions: What’s known? These questions can dig deep to unearth nonobvious information, like the time the French railroad overlooked platform measurements and bought train cars that were too large for existing platforms, leading to costly train modifications.

Speculative Questions: What If? These broaden perspectives, sparking creativity. What if we create

Productive Questions: Now What? These assess resources and execution plans.

Interpretive Questions: So, What? These synthesize information, turning analysis into actionable insights. For instance, Tesla’s revolutionary appeal was missed by competitors because competitors focused on Tesla’s minor imperfections.

Subjective Questions: What’s Unsaid? These address personal reservations and emotional dynamics. British Airways missed the emotional reaction of its public when it rebranded.

Listening: The Unsung Hero

To ask good questions, you must listen actively. Presence, curiosity, and connection are key. As Daniel Ek of Spotify says, questioning always circles back to purpose: “Why are we doing things? Why does it matter?”

Questions are more than a tool—they're an art form. From igniting innovation to fostering deeper connections, mastering the art of asking questions can unlock endless possibilities. So, why are you still talking? It’s time to ask your next great question and listen.