Episodes

  • The Devil Wears Pink: The Violence, Villainy, and Vanity of Dolores Umbridge

    The Devil Wears Pink: The Violence, Villainy, and Vanity of Dolores Umbridge
    Jun 11 2025
    On this episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble dives into the soft-voiced, hard-hearted horror that is Dolores Jane Umbridge.

    She may wear kitten brooches and speak in syrupy tones, but beneath the pink cardigan lies one of the most insidious villains in the Wizarding World. We unpack the bureaucratic brutality behind her blood quill, the weaponization of femininity, and why her brand of evil—quiet, sanctioned, and system-approved-hits closer to home than Voldemort’s chaos ever could. Why do we hate her so much? Is it what she does—or the fact that we recognize her? And what does her rise say about the structures that reward cruelty wrapped in civility?
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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Prof Responds- Gilderoy Lockhart: Ravenclaw or Ravenfraud?

    Prof Responds- Gilderoy Lockhart: Ravenclaw or Ravenfraud?
    Jun 4 2025
    In this Prof Responds episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble dives into the dazzling disaster that is Gilderoy Lockhart—our favorite fame-chasing fraud.

    From his misuse of memory charms to his obsession with applause over competence, this episode unpacks your brilliant post-episode chat insights and tackles the deeper themes of image, power, and performance. Is Lockhart just a punchline, or is he something more sinister? What does his pretty privilege reveal about the Wizarding World’s gullibility? And most importantly, is he actually a good Ravenclaw?

    Along the way, we explore the ethics of memory charms (spoiler: it’s dark), compare Lockhart’s influence to real-world influencers and tech bros, and ask what villainy looks like when it’s hiding behind great hair and a charming smile. Lockhart may be incompetent in some ways, but as this episode reveals—he’s dangerously good at playing dumb.
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    46 mins
  • Fame Is a Fickle Fraud: Here Lies Gilderoy Lockhart

    Fame Is a Fickle Fraud: Here Lies Gilderoy Lockhart
    May 28 2025
    What would you do to be remembered?

    This week on Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble dives deep into the shimmering shallows of Gilderoy Lockhart—a man so desperate for legacy, he obliterated others’ lives just to make space for his own myth. From vanity and fraudulence to memory charms and moral delusion, we interrogate what happens when someone builds their identity entirely on lies—and worse, starts believing them.

    Is Lockhart a villain? A bad Ravenclaw? Just a glorified PR stunt with good hair? Join us as we unpack the performance of fame, the ethics of memory, and why silence might be the most dangerous thing of all. Also: Beyoncé, colonialism, and why Lockhart’s story might be the Wizarding World’s most damning metaphor.

    Special thanks to our new Patreon Deep Diver: Grace
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    1 hr and 4 mins
  • Prof Responds- Mom or Mess, Petty or Possessed: McGonagall & Quirrell

    Prof Responds- Mom or Mess, Petty or Possessed: McGonagall & Quirrell
    May 21 2025
    What do maternal tropes, mediocre men, and magical possession all have in common?

    In this "Prof Responses" episode, Professor Julian Wamble returns to unpack the post-episode chats on two very different figures: Minerva McGonagall and Quirinus Quirrell.

    Was McGonagall really written as a maternal figure—or have we reimagined her to reflect a world Rowling couldn’t envision? And what do we do with Quirrell, a Ravenclaw who might’ve been smart enough to find Voldemort but foolish enough to wear him like a backpack?

    From challenging the “mom or mess” dichotomy to breaking down the blurry lines between agency and possession, this episode dives into how fandom, canon, and cultural context shape the way we read these characters. And yes, favoritism, ambition, and the overconfidence of mediocre white men all make an appearance.

    As always, stay critical while keeping it magical!
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    51 mins
  • Ambition and Audacity: The Two Faces of Quirinus Quirrell

    Ambition and Audacity: The Two Faces of Quirinus Quirrell
    May 14 2025
    What if the villain wasn’t overtaken—but offered himself up?

    In this episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble dives into the sweaty, stammering chaos of Professor Quirrell—and the dangerous audacity that lies beneath it. Often remembered as little more than a jittery man in a turban, Quirrell is actually one of the clearest cautionary tales in the Wizarding World: a man who gave Voldemort room on the back of his head in exchange for the illusion of power. From Ravenclaw ego to radical insecurity, we unpack what happens when ambition meets delusion—and why Quirrell might not be possessed, but willing.

    Plus, a warm welcome to our newest Patreon Deep Divers: Addy, Rachel, and Nicole! Your support keeps this world spinning and these conversations growing—thank you for diving deep with us.

    Be on the lookout for the Lockhart survey!

    Til then, be critical and stay magical my friends!
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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • The Silent Suffering of Minerva McGonagall

    The Silent Suffering of Minerva McGonagall
    Apr 30 2025
    “She was watching the Dursleys all day while everyone else celebrated—and somehow, we still expect more from her.”

    In this episode of Critical Magic Theory, we take a long-overdue deep dive into the one and only Minerva McGonagall. Often admired for her strength, fairness, and dry wit, McGonagall is seen by many as the model of a good teacher, a good Gryffindor, and a good person. But what happens when we start asking whether those expectations are fair—or even possible?

    We unpack how patriarchy and pureblood supremacy shaped her life, how the fandom has turned her into a presumed infallable fantasy maternal figure, and ask why we judge her more harshly than we do many of her male counterparts. From bending rules for Harry to staying behind at Hogwarts under Death Eater control, McGonagall’s story is one of survival, restraint, and invisible labor—and maybe that’s a different kind of heroism altogether.

    And a special thank-you to our newest Deep Divers on Patreon: Lynn, Molly, and CunningandCompassion. Your support means the world.
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    1 hr and 15 mins
  • Prof Responds- Remus Lupin & the Struggle to Stay Human

    Prof Responds- Remus Lupin & the Struggle to Stay Human
    Apr 23 2025
    Welcome to Critical Magic Theory, where we deconstruct the Wizarding World of Harry Potter—because loving something doesn’t mean we can’t be critical of it.

    This week’s Prof Response tackles one of our most emotional episodes to date: Remus Lupin. But before diving in, we confront a real-world reality—J.K. Rowling’s continued advocacy for trans-exclusionary laws and the heartbreak of deciding whether we can still use her text for good. Spoiler: we think we can. And we explain why.

    From there, we wrestle with listener reflections on shame, love, and the monsters society creates—both literal and metaphorical. We discuss Fenrir Greyback as a disturbing allegory for institutional bias, analyze Lupin’s internalized fear, and ask hard questions about fatherhood, failure, and trying to be good in a world that tells you you’re not. This is a deep one. But it’s also a reminder of why this podcast—and this kind of critical thinking—matters.
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    39 mins
  • 3.3%=100%: The Remus Lupin Story

    3.3%=100%: The Remus Lupin Story
    Apr 16 2025
    Why didn’t Lupin ever write to Harry? Why did he run from Tonks? And how does someone who survives so much still feel like they deserve so little?

    In this soul-stirring episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble peels back the layers of Remus Lupin—the beloved professor, the loyal Marauder, and the walking embodiment of internalized shame. Drawing from 700+ listener survey responses, Prof. Wamble explores how Lupin’s trauma, marginalization, and deep-rooted self-doubt shape not just his choices, but how we judge them.

    Stick around for a powerful final reflection that reframes Lupin not as a failure, but as a survivor—someone marked not by the moon, but by the shame a broken world handed him.

    Special thanks to our newest Patreon Deep Divers: Gelsey, Kayla, Jeni, Mehrunissa, Sara! Thanks so much for your support and contributions to this community.

    And don’t forget to join the post-episode chat on Patreon—because we’ve got to talk more about this one.

    Be critical. Stay magical.
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    1 hr and 25 mins
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