Send us a text

In this conversation, Neshia (Nee sha) Alaovae (Alah vi) shares her profound experiences and insights on death, grief, and the importance of cultural rituals. Raised by her grandparents in Samoa, Neshia's early encounters with death shaped her understanding and approach to end-of-life care. She emphasizes the significance of rituals in navigating grief and the need for community support. Neshia discusses her journey into death work, highlighting her current role as an end-of-life consultant, where she helps individuals, particularly young adults, confront and plan for their mortality. In this conversation, we explore the themes of midlife reflections, the importance of end-of-life planning, and the role of a death doula. We discuss how intimate connections can be fostered through conversations about death and dying the cultural rituals surrounding grief, and the challenges faced in death work. The conversation also touches on the fears surrounding the end of life and the celebration of life through death work, emphasizing the importance of community support and personal connections.

Neshia Alaovae (she/her) is a Black and Samoan, disabled mama, poet, and death worker. She cares deeply about connecting cultural wisdom, ancestral resilience, and BIPOC joy to create new, empowered possibilities for how we live and die. Her first experience of what many refer to as death doula work was in 2012 as a “Compassionate Companion” at a residential hospice in Washington, DC, that serves homeless or housing-insecure people dying of AIDS or cancer. Neshia continues to think of herself as a death companion.

Neshia has worked as a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion trainer for faith organizations, non-profits, and institutions such as the Washington Department of Health. She is a licensed mental health counselor who spent over a decade serving people navigating trauma, grief, and cultural identity. Currently, she runs "A Thoughtful Death," a deathcare practice offering end-of-life consultation and support for people wanting a more intentional experience with dying. Neshia loves reading, eating long meals with loved ones, and trying to keep her two toddlers from eating too much dirt (a little is just right).

A Thoughtful Death Website

Support the show

You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and BlueSky. You are also invited to subscribe to support us financially. Anyone who supports us at any level will have access to Premium content, special online meet-ups, and one on one time with Annalouiza or Wakil.

And we would love your feedback and want to hear your stories. You can email us at endoflifeconvo@gmail.com.