DOPEamine

By: Christian A. Rivera
Listen for free

  • Summary

  • "DOPEamine" is a journey into the world of self-coaching, where we explore how to harness the power of our head, heart, and gut wisdoms to achieve greater happiness and fulfillment. Each episode dives into practical self-coaching techniques, insights from personality frameworks, and the wisdom of systems like the Enneagram and Gene Keys. Join us as we uncover the tools and practices that can help us navigate life's challenges and tap into our true potential for a balanced, joyful life.

    dopeamine.substack.com
    Christian A. Rivera
    Show more Show less
activate_WEBCRO358_DT_T2
Episodes
  • Healing the Gender Divide: Liberating from Helplessness and Narcissism for Future Generations

    Healing the Gender Divide: Liberating from Helplessness and Narcissism for Future Generations
    Sep 5 2024
    Show Notes:* Exploring how narcissism and victimhood dynamics impact gender relations and future generations* Understanding the psychological roots of narcissism and helplessness* Healing narcissism to foster healthier relationships between men and women* The generational impact of unresolved trauma and narcissism* How self-love can break the cycle and support the development of conscious, healthy children* Bridging the gender and political divide with compassion and understanding* Reach out to me for coaching support to explore how these dynamics may be affecting you and your relationshipsIn this episode, we delve deep into a topic that affects not only our personal relationships but also the future of our children and society as a whole: healing narcissism and helplessness. Narcissism, often fueled by deep-rooted trauma and shame, isn't just an individual issue—it’s a psychological pattern that, if left unresolved, gets passed on from generation to generation. In particular, we look at how these patterns create and perpetuate the gender divide, which has become increasingly pronounced and reflective of the political divide as well.Narcissism, Helplessness, and the Gender DivideOne of the most compelling aspects of this conversation is how the dynamics of narcissism and victimhood tend to play out in gendered ways. Men are often labeled as narcissists—seen as controlling, emotionally unavailable, or manipulative—while women may fall into the victim role, struggling to set boundaries and feeling powerless in relationships. Yet, both sides of this dynamic stem from deep psychological wounds, which need healing not just for the individuals involved but for society as a whole.Narcissism isn't just a personality flaw; it’s a defense mechanism born from childhood trauma, often in homes where a parent was abusive or emotionally unavailable. The narcissist, unable to express their emotional needs openly, learns to manipulate others to get what they need, while those on the receiving end (often women in these gendered dynamics) may fall into patterns of helplessness, believing they have no control over their circumstances. This creates a codependent cycle that not only harms relationships but also influences how future generations understand love, boundaries, and emotional expression.Breaking the Cycle for Future GenerationsWhat makes this conversation so critical is the generational impact of unresolved narcissistic patterns. When parents model unhealthy relationships, whether through narcissistic control or victim helplessness, children absorb these behaviors, often carrying them into their own adult lives. It becomes a psychological genetic disease, passed down from one generation to the next. Healing these patterns is not just about improving our own lives—it’s about ensuring the emotional health of our children and future generations.When we break free from narcissistic patterns, we not only heal ourselves, but we also create healthier environments for the next generation. Children raised in homes where boundaries are respected, emotions are expressed healthily, and love is unconditional grow into adults who are emotionally secure and capable of forming healthy, balanced relationships. This is the ripple effect of healing narcissism: it’s not just about us, it’s about the legacy we leave behind.Bridging the Gender and Political DivideThe gender divide in relationships often mirrors the larger political divide we see in society. In many cases, these divisions are exacerbated by the same underlying psychological patterns: one group feels marginalized or powerless, while the other seeks control or dominance. By healing narcissism and the helplessness that often accompanies it, we can begin to bridge these gaps—not just between men and women, but across political lines as well.As someone whose Gene Keys vocation and culture spheres are both Line 4, my focus is on bridging these divides within communities. I believe that healing our relationships—especially the complex dynamics between men and women—can create a ripple effect that spreads into our broader communities, fostering compassion, understanding, and unity. By approaching narcissism with love and compassion, we not only heal ourselves but also help to create a more balanced, conscious society.The Path Forward: Self-Love and CompassionAt the heart of healing narcissism is the discovery of true self-love. Narcissists, often disconnected from their true selves, project a forced version of self-love that is protective and fragile. Meanwhile, their victims may undervalue themselves, absorbing the narcissist’s manipulative behaviors and feeling unworthy of love. The true path to healing is through self-love that is rooted in compassion, not just for oneself but for others.Setting compassionate boundaries—rather than using anger, fear, or blame—allows both sides of this dynamic to heal. When we stop engaging in the drama triangle...
    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 3 mins
  • You're Not Special (And Why That’s Good for Mental Health)

    You're Not Special (And Why That’s Good for Mental Health)
    Sep 1 2024
    In today’s fast-paced world, feelings of loneliness and isolation are more common than ever. But what if your loneliness is rooted in the very idea that you’re “special”? In this article, we dive into the connection between narcissism, victimhood, and complex trauma, uncovering how shame spirals keep you trapped in cycles of self-sabotage. If you’ve ever felt alone, stuck, or consumed by shame, this might just be the key to understanding why.The Narcissism-Victimhood Paradox: Why You’re Not SpecialAt first glance, narcissism and victimhood seem like opposites. However, both are tied to a deep sense of self-focus that stems from trauma. When someone has experienced significant shame or rejection, they may develop a superiority complex or a persistent sense of victimhood. This isn’t about ego—it’s a defense mechanism born out of trauma. As we fixate on our pain, we reinforce the idea that we’re “special,” that our suffering is unique. But this kind of self-focus leads to feelings of isolation.Shame Spirals and Self-Sabotage: How Trauma Fuels LonelinessShame is at the core of the narcissism-victimhood paradox. When unresolved trauma and shame go unchecked, they fuel a cycle of self-sabotage and loneliness. According to trauma expert Tim Fletcher, individuals caught in shame spirals often push others away—consciously or subconsciously—as a way to protect themselves from further hurt. But this self-protective behavior only deepens the isolation. The more we withdraw, the lonelier we feel.The Need for Deep Rest and the Desire to EscapeOne of the hidden effects of trauma and shame is a deep longing for rest. This isn’t just about physical rest—it’s about emotional and psychological rest, the kind that comes from feeling safe, supported, and cared for. Spiritual teacher Amoda Maa introduced the concept of deep rest as the ultimate release of mental chatter. I’ve connected this idea to how suicidal ideation often stems from this need for rest. We become trapped in a cycle of hyper-vigilance, self-criticism, and shame. The solution lies in finding ways to experience true rest by allowing others to care for us and releasing the belief that we must always carry the weight alone.Loneliness, Narcissism, and the Drama TriangleLoneliness often stems from the roles we play in what psychologists call the "drama triangle." The victim, the rescuer, and the persecutor are all roles that keep us trapped in codependent relationships and self-sabotage. The victim role, in particular, often feeds into the narcissism-victimhood paradox, where we overvalue or undervalue ourselves, pushing others away and deepening our isolation.Breaking Free: Rebalancing Your NeedsFletcher’s concept of the "12 Needs" provides a helpful framework for understanding the roots of addiction, loneliness, and shame. Often, when one need—such as relational support—is unmet, we overcompensate by fulfilling another need excessively, such as seeking out addictive behaviors. For example, if you lack close relationships, you might turn to addictive pleasures like excessive screen time or overworking, all in an attempt to fill the void.The key to overcoming this is recognizing and rebalancing these needs. By addressing what’s truly missing—whether it's connection, purpose, or support—you can begin to escape the narcissism-victimhood trap and find your way out of loneliness.The Power of Letting Go: You’re Unique, But You’re Not SpecialOne of the most powerful realizations in this journey is understanding that, while you are unique, you’re not "special." This concept may seem harsh at first, but it’s incredibly freeing. Letting go of the need to be "special" allows you to step out of the shame and self-focus that keeps you isolated. Recognizing that others share similar struggles can create the connection you need to heal.Practical Steps for Overcoming Shame and Loneliness* Embrace Your Uniqueness: You don’t have to be special to be worthy of love and connection. Accepting that you are part of the shared human experience can ease feelings of isolation.* Find Rest Through Connection: True rest comes from feeling safe and cared for. Allow others to help you, and don’t be afraid to ask for support.* Rebalance Your Needs: Address areas of your life where needs are unmet. Seek connection, creativity, and purpose to counterbalance addictive tendencies.* Break the Shame Cycle: Shame spirals keep you stuck. Focus on self-compassion and avoid self-sabotage by letting go of unrealistic expectations.* Move Beyond the Diagnostic Spiral: Constantly diagnosing your symptoms (whether mental or physical) can trap you in a cycle of anxiety. Seek professional guidance and stop relying on endless self-analysis.Final Thoughts: The Path to HealingBreaking free from loneliness and the narcissism-victimhood paradox isn’t easy, but it is possible. By letting go of the need to be special and rebalancing your needs, you can ...
    Show more Show less
    52 mins
  • Avatars & Archetypes: Evolving Jung's Concepts on Persona and Anima/Animus to Find Your Whole Self

    Avatars & Archetypes: Evolving Jung's Concepts on Persona and Anima/Animus to Find Your Whole Self
    Aug 8 2024
    Something I love about wrestling is that it creates this ability to look at a character, a person, and especially as a younger person, see yourself in that character. There are different personalities, expressions, stories, presentations, body types, colors that represent the person, pyro, theme music, and styles of wrestling - grapplers, brawlers, high flyers, agile people, ground and pound, etc. There are so many different types of characters that someone can go to a show and resonate with.When I took my kids to a wrestling show, my stepson in particular was really excited to basically try on every single character that came out. He saw them doing some sort of symbol or gesture or hand movement and he just tried them on, kept "putting on outfits to see what fit him." I recognized in myself the ability to do that when I was a kid - with video game characters, people on TV shows and movies. There's this exploration of "what do I resonate with?" This comes through sports too, seeing someone performing at a high level and aspiring to be like them.This exploration of avatars and archetypes is something we often go through as kids, to see what's possible for us and try on these different characters to see who we want to become. In a lot of ways, this is represented through the earlier gods and goddess archetypes - Egyptian, Greek, Mayan - that manifest today in things like wrestling, the Olympics, and even politics. They represent these energies that people aspire to, for better or worse. It may not be the person in its entirety, but just their look, the way they speak, stand or present themselves.This leads to the Jungian concept of persona - we're often trying to choose and look at avatars to develop a persona. Becoming an avatar is essentially like connecting ourselves to the person, idea, or character that we're resonating with. Whether or not that matches up to our actual physicality or capabilities, that's work to be done later to reconcile what we connect ourselves to relate to who we expected ourselves to be.In a lot of ways during this time, we're developing who we expect ourselves to be - whether we want to become a "big strong boy" or a "nurturing feminine woman." But in this day and age, it's so much more nuanced and complex than anything ever documented before, especially in terms of masculinity and femininity. Being a man doesn't necessarily mean going out and chopping wood and building a log cabin - it may mean being a software engineer with more traditionally feminine qualities in terms of personal relationships.The challenge comes when that persona gets used for everything - it becomes a hammer and all the world's a nail. If you want to become a wrestler and take that attitude to everything in your life, you might have trouble with your relationships or going to the DMV. The flexibility of persona comes later through doing "shadow work" - exploring the parts of ourselves we've repressed or hidden away.Jung saw the self as having different layers - the ego, the persona, the shadow, the anima/animus (the animating force), and the collective unconscious. The persona is the interface between ourselves and the outer world, the ego is the interface between the self and the persona, and the shadow is everything that gets filtered out. The anima/animus is the animating force, the soul or spirit that makes us alive.Having an animated force, a soul, protects us from the complicated, timeless, boundless inner world that can feel treacherous if we fully submit to it. Traditionally, the anima/animus has been seen as the opposite of the persona - men want to be men, women want to be women. But today, it's much more nuanced and complex.The challenge when we're younger is that we must do all this filtering and develop a rigid persona. But as we grow, we need to expand that self and allow the ego and shadow to be partners rather than just protective forces. We need to be willing to tap into parts of ourselves we've repressed or hidden away, to discover our true, animating soul.This is my work now - pulling forward aspects of myself that I've long repressed, like my emotionality and spiritual side. I want to bring a look and a persona representing more of the fullness of what I truly am, not just who I feel I'm supposed to be. It's about agency, choice, and letting the self be in control, not the rigid ego.Approaching this kind of inner work with curiosity and not judgment is key. It's about discovery, not forcing ourselves to be something completely different overnight. By approaching ourselves with grace and hope, we can find our true, animating soul and live more authentically.I hope this exploration of avatars, archetypes, and the layers of the self resonates with you. Let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. And if you'd like to support this ongoing work, consider becoming a premium member. Get full access to DOPEamine at dopeamine.substack.com/subscribe
    Show more Show less
    34 mins
Psychology Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Success
Show more Show less

What listeners say about DOPEamine

Average customer ratings

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Audible.com reviews

Amazon reviews
No Reviews are Available