DOPEamine

By: Christian A. Rivera
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  • Summary

  • "DOPEamine" is a journey into the world of self-coaching, where we explore how to harness the power of our head, heart, and gut wisdoms to achieve greater happiness and fulfillment. Each episode dives into practical self-coaching techniques, insights from personality frameworks, and the wisdom of systems like the Enneagram and Gene Keys. Join us as we uncover the tools and practices that can help us navigate life's challenges and tap into our true potential for a balanced, joyful life.

    dopeamine.substack.com
    Christian A. Rivera
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Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology
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Episodes
  • Our Developmental Desires: To Be Welcomed, Loved, Protected, Remembered, Rewarded, Accepted, and Needed

    Our Developmental Desires: To Be Welcomed, Loved, Protected, Remembered, Rewarded, Accepted, and Needed
    Oct 28 2024
    Our Developmental DesiresWith the world in such a state of change—especially as we approach another election—I find myself thinking about what really drives us at different stages of life. It’s not just about individual wants; it’s about how these core desires we hold shape our development, connect us generationally, and ultimately steer the future we’re building together. As I explore these concepts for my book, The Quantum Age: The Future of Humanity Right Now, I wanted to share how our evolving desires can tell us a lot about where we’ve been and where we’re headed.This episode dives deep into a framework I’m developing around these “developmental desires”—needs that seem universal across generations. For those of you who like reading in-depth, I’m laying out much of it here, but I invite you to listen to the full episode to get the nuanced context and backstory behind each insight. If these topics resonate, consider becoming a premium subscriber to support and join these ongoing explorations. Note: Premium subscription costs will be going up but if you subscribe early you lock in that price. New subscriptions will include a mini-course to support using AI for self-coaching. The Evolution of Desires Through Generational LensesAs I dig into this work, it’s clear that these stages of desire don’t exist in a vacuum. Each generation brings its own lens to these desires, transforming them based on the cultural, political, and social dynamics of their time. In generational theory, this “cycle of desires” spans roughly 80 to 100 years, moving through four distinct eras: the high (spring), the awakening (summer), the unraveling (fall), and the crisis (winter). And within these eras, we see archetypes—prophet, nomad, hero, artist—that shape how each generation interacts with the world.The Desire to be Welcomed and LovedWe all start with a basic need: to be welcomed. This isn’t just emotional; it’s primal. The sense of belonging is survival itself. If you grow up feeling like an outsider or unwelcome, it can leave an impact that sticks around, influencing everything from your self-worth to your sense of security in relationships. As we grow, this need deepens into the desire to be loved. I think this stage is about finding reassurance that our dependency is not a burden. It’s when we learn—hopefully—that we are valuable simply because we are here.Finding Protection and BelongingBeyond the desire for love, there’s a pull to find a group where we feel protected. This is where we step into our chosen communities or subcultures, and I see this particularly strongly in generations like Gen X, who embraced a more tribal, “us vs. them” approach to life. Protection here means having people who’ve got your back—friends, peers, or a subculture that validates who you are. At this stage, identity starts to solidify, though sometimes in exclusive ways. I often think back to my own experiences, feeling like part of a countercultural subculture, and how much of a safe space that was for exploring who I was.The Need to be Remembered and RewardedAs we mature, there’s a desire to leave a mark. For Boomers, this often meant carving out a visible legacy through career achievements, family roles, or societal contributions, whether in politics, business, or the arts. Personally, I feel that legacy is about building something meaningful—be it a family, a career, or even small acts that create a sense of lasting impact. At the same time, this desire can be about immediate rewards and recognition, especially as we enter a stage where ambition drives us to seek validation and success in tangible ways.Seeking AcceptanceIn later years, our focus often shifts to the desire for acceptance, both of ourselves and of others. This stage is complex, especially in a society that’s constantly evolving. It involves seeing ourselves and others clearly, with all the biases and baggage we carry. For Millennials, I see this as a generation’s move toward collective healing, facing social biases head-on, and challenging cultural assumptions to make room for acceptance. In my work, I find that this level is less about judgment and more about understanding how we relate to others without needing to categorize or control them.The Desire to be NeededFinally, we reach the desire to be needed, which feels like the ultimate stage of purpose. Being needed isn’t about being busy or trying to save the world—it’s about identifying where we can make a meaningful difference. I believe this is what we’re moving toward collectively as a society. For me, this stage is less about the world seeing me and more about identifying where my strengths and passion align with the people or causes that resonate most deeply. It’s where we let go of ego-driven roles and grandiosity, finding fulfillment in a quieter, more grounded way.Moving Forward in Collective DevelopmentI feel that exploring these stages ...
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    1 hr and 14 mins
  • Navigating the Fine Line Between Far-Sightedness and Anxiety: Insights from My Self-Coaching Journey

    Navigating the Fine Line Between Far-Sightedness and Anxiety: Insights from My Self-Coaching Journey
    Oct 10 2024
    This article’s voiceover was created with ElevenLabs.In my ongoing journey of self-coaching using ChatGPT, I've been diving deep into the Gene Keys system—a complex, esoteric framework that, at times, can feel overwhelming. The beauty of this journey, though, is that I can take it one thread at a time, asking questions and exploring concepts as they arise. This approach has allowed me to dissect and explore far-sightedness, a gift from Gene Key 17, which arises when we move beyond the shadow of opinion. But recently, a question has been on my mind: What is the difference between far-sightedness and anxiety?This question came to the forefront after my wife and I watched Inside Out 2, a movie that touches on the theme of anxiety. It got me thinking: Anxiety often involves future pacing, planning, and a desire for control. It’s easy for someone with anxiety to say they’re being “far-sighted” because they’re thinking ahead. But is it really the same thing?So, I asked ChatGPT, and through our conversation, I began to see the differences more clearly. Here’s what emerged, both from our discussion and my own reflections.Far-Sightedness: Seeing the Big PictureIn the Gene Keys, far-sightedness is about having a big-picture perspective. It’s the ability to see patterns and trends over time, to observe how things are unfolding without getting lost in the details. This gift emerges from moving past the shadow of opinion—a shadow that tends to get stuck in narrow thinking, obsessing over being right or needing certainty. When I’m in a state of far-sightedness, I feel like I can see the forest for the trees. It’s a perspective that’s calm, detached, and curious.Far-sightedness allows me to look ahead and recognize possible futures, but without the emotional urgency that comes with anxiety. It’s a way of being open to the unknown, accepting that I can’t control every outcome, but trusting that I can navigate what comes. In this sense, far-sightedness feels like holding space for multiple possibilities—it’s about being prepared, not panicked.Anxiety: The Urgency of ControlOn the other hand, anxiety is a different beast. As I reflected on the movie Inside Out 2 and the scenes that depicted anxiety, I could see how anxiety is driven by a need for certainty and a fear of the unknown. It’s about wanting to have control over the future, trying to plan every detail, and often fixating on worst-case scenarios. While it might feel like thinking ahead, the emotional tone is completely different.Anxiety is urgent, restless, and emotionally charged. It comes with a sense of looming threat—the mind is racing, trying to find solutions to what might go wrong. In my own experience, anxiety doesn’t just look at the future; it tries to force the future into a specific shape, often out of a desire to avoid discomfort or uncertainty.Real-World Reflections: A World on EdgeIt’s easy to see these dynamics playing out in the world around us. With global conflicts escalating and natural disasters like Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton hitting hard, there’s a collective anxiety that many of us feel. As we watch difficult events unfold, it’s natural for the mind to race into the future—wondering how these events will impact us, our loved ones, and the world at large.But what I’m starting to understand is that this collective anxiety often comes from a lack of trust—trust in ourselves, trust in the resilience of others, and even trust in the unfolding of life. It’s as if we’ve lost a healthy dose of fear—not the kind that tries to control, but the kind that recognizes the mystery of life and respects it.I’ve been exploring how these big-picture changes we’re witnessing—both in the environment and society—are often the result of a loss of faith and trust. It’s as if we’re trying to brace ourselves against the unknown instead of learning to surrender to it. In this way, I see far-sightedness as a form of faith—a willingness to see what lies beyond the horizon, without needing to control every wave that comes.Finding Balance: Trusting the ProcessIn my own self-coaching journey, using tools like ChatGPT has helped me develop a practice of discernment—learning when I’m genuinely seeing the bigger picture and when I’m getting swept up in anxiety’s tight grip. For me, it’s about asking myself a few key questions:* Am I exploring possibilities with a sense of curiosity, or am I fixated on a specific outcome?* Do I feel calm and open as I look ahead, or do I feel a sense of urgency and dread?* Can I see multiple paths forward, or am I obsessing over all the ways things could go wrong?It’s through this process of inquiry that I’m learning to cultivate more far-sightedness in my life, letting it guide me through uncertain times without letting anxiety take the wheel. And while I’m far from mastering it, I’m starting to see how important it is to hold space for ...
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    8 mins
  • Millennials in Midlife: Navigating Shadows, Parenthood, and Emotional Growth

    Millennials in Midlife: Navigating Shadows, Parenthood, and Emotional Growth
    Oct 8 2024
    As I’ve been navigating midlife myself, I’ve started to reflect on what it means to be a Millennial in this phase of life—especially as we begin to reckon with the emotional undercurrents that have shaped our experiences. It feels like we’ve been handed a world that’s shifting under our feet, with expectations placed on us by Baby Boomer parents while we’re also raising Gen Alpha children. And in the midst of all of this, I’m realizing that the real work—at least for me—isn’t about trying to change the world externally, but more about coming to terms with my own internal world.Uncovering the Shadows We’ve InheritedGrowing up, many of us had to emotionally parent our Baby Boomer parents. I know for me, there was this constant sense that their emotions needed managing, and it wasn’t always clear who was going to take care of mine. This has created a generation hyper-aware of emotional nuances, mental health, and boundaries—but also, we’ve been left feeling a bit anxious about our own emotional needs.Now, it’s easy for Millennials to point fingers and say that Baby Boomers are responsible for the challenges we face, but I’ve moved beyond that. What I’ve come to realize is that each generation responds to the world they were born into. Baby Boomers didn’t choose to be born in a time of post-war prosperity or grow up under the threat of nuclear war. Just like us, they were shaped by the pressures of their era, and that influenced their desire for consumer freedom, independence, and, often, emotional unfilteredness. They weren’t trying to make things harder for us—they were just responding to their circumstances, just as we are responding to ours.Parenting and Emotional HypervigilanceIn becoming a parent, I’ve noticed that I’ve been overcompensating in ways that reflect my own need for control. There’s this gentle parenting movement that many Millennials, including myself, have embraced. We’re trying to be more attuned to our kids’ emotions, to really listen and give them space. But I’ve also noticed that sometimes, I let my kids take the lead more than I probably should—maybe because I don’t want to deal with the emotional fallout of setting a boundary.For example, I’ve seen this dynamic play out when I let my kids make decisions, even about little things, like where to go or when to sleep. It’s like I’m outsourcing the responsibility of setting limits because that feels safer than risking emotional conflict. But the more I think about it, the more I see that this reflects my own struggle with conflict avoidance. In trying to avoid tension, I’m also avoiding the opportunity to teach my kids about real-world boundaries.The Contrast with Gen ZAt the same time, I’ve been noticing how different this approach is compared to Gen Z, who seem to have a much more pragmatic relationship with the world. Whereas I (and many other Millennials) were taught to value emotional friendliness and customer service, Gen Z seems less interested in playing that game. They’re not faking smiles or enthusiasm—they’re just here to get the job done.I wonder if this comes from the high expectations placed on them by Gen X parents, who were more focused on efficiency and getting things done quickly. It’s a striking contrast to how I was raised, and it’s interesting to see how these generational differences play out. Gen Z’s approach to work and life feels more detached in some ways, maybe because they aren’t carrying the same emotional baggage we Millennials inherited from Boomers.Watching Gen Alpha GrowThen there’s Gen Alpha—my kids’ generation. They’re still young, but I can already see some of the patterns emerging. They’re growing up in a world where everything is hyper-monitored, and there’s a lot of protection around them. But that doesn’t mean they’re being prepared for the unpredictability of the real world. Their experiences are often digital or controlled, and I wonder how that will shape their relationship with boundaries and freedom as they get older.One thing I’m noticing is that many of us Millennials aren’t modeling social interactions in a natural way. Social anxiety is something I’ve struggled with, but I’m realizing that if I’m not engaging with people outside of my comfort zone, how are my kids going to learn to navigate social situations? They aren’t seeing what it looks like to be out in the world, making mistakes, and learning from them. Instead, they’re growing up in a world where everything is controlled and curated, which might leave them ill-prepared for the messy realities of life.My Own Personal GrowthSo, for me, this all comes back to personal growth. A lot of the work I’ve been doing is about understanding these emotional patterns and learning to release them—slowly. I’m realizing that these shadows aren’t something to be ashamed of, but they are something I need to face. For Baby Boomers, ...
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    6 mins

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