Episodes

  • The Crystal Star Ch 5-8

    The Crystal Star Ch 5-8
    Apr 17 2025
    Please enjoy this latest effort, late and paltry though it is - our hosts unfortunately live in the United States, which is going through some [redacted] times and also a gnarly flu season. In a galaxy far far away, most of our heroes are having a time of it as well. Han is really regretting his choice to vacation with a Jedi, especially after they run into his ex-girl friend, who introduces them to an all-powerful living sofa. Leia and Chewie try to find the kidnapped children with the power of the Dark Side (?) and expired eye shadow. Jacen and Jaina are reunited through the power of Force hi jinks.
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • The Crystal Star Ch. 1 - 4

    The Crystal Star Ch. 1 - 4
    Mar 26 2025
    Our latest entry starts with a bang. Literally. Chewbacca gets blown up and the three Organa-Solo kids are kidnapped. Everyone around Leia gaslights her into thinking maybe it's an unserious kidnapping (because apparently that's a thing!) — except master detective R2 Freakin' D2 who is on the case and fully prepared to do a murder if necessary to solve it. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo would probably have some feelings about the kidnapping, but they're on vacation near a black hole that blocks all cell service so they have no idea. Jaina Solo is pretty pissed about having to survive on crappy soup and being forcibly separated from her brothers. She makes a friend only to have that kid immediately sold into slavery by a Force-sensitive Empire-revival cultist — but hey, there's a cool dragon!

    Also, 3PO is purple.
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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Who knows how the Force really works?

    Who knows how the Force really works?
    Mar 19 2025
    As the New York Times best-selling saga of the Callista trilogy draws to a close, Kelly and Emily are joined by a surprise guest who weighs in on who gets to decide what's in a Star Wars novel, why Han Solo is totally cool being a Wife Guy, and the power of body swaps.
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    55 mins
  • Planet of Twilight Ch. 17-22

    Planet of Twilight Ch. 17-22
    Mar 5 2025
    It's a Lunar New Year Miracle (we finished more than 3 chapters of a Hambly!). Leia and Callista have some dorm room conversations on the nature of power and its uses. Luke returns to his first love (hotwiring speeders and driving across the desert like a lunatic). Leia returns to her first love (small artillery fire). Threepio and Artoo continue bouncing around the galactic postal system. We find out that the Spook crystals ARE talking and Luke becomes their Lorax. Han Solo finally gets to hug his wife. Callista continues on her own path. GMOs are revealed as the ultimate evil. And one of Star Wars’ most baffling ‘ships appears like a Death Star on the horizon. 11.5/12 parsecs.

    If you want to vote on what comes next, join us over on the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/DelusionsofGrandeurPod
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    1 hr and 25 mins
  • Planet of Twlight Ch. 13-16

    Planet of Twlight Ch. 13-16
    Feb 26 2025
    Leia decides it's time get up off the couch. Seti Ashgad gets a horrifying makeover. Dyzym's whole deal is revealed and it's NOT COOL. Luke gets a late night Force call and heads into the desert. Threepio gets a wig and gets creative but refuses to get impolite. Han and Lando continue to breathe somewhere in the galaxy. Callista shows up, mostly to roast Luke. And we find out that no matter where you are in the galaxy everything evolves back to CRABS eventually.
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    53 mins
  • Planet of Twilight Ch. 9 - 12

    Planet of Twilight Ch. 9 - 12
    Feb 19 2025
    Sure, a lot of plot-related things happen in these chapters and all of our main characters seem to have new careers — Luke's a mechanic, Leia's an expert locksmith, and Han is a space EMT. But let's be real. THE MOST important thing to focus on is: what should Threepio and R2 call their family band?!

    Goldenrod and the Twerp?
    NSFW(ookies)?
    Festering Jizzboxes?

    Please send us any and all ideas: swdelusionspod at gmail dot com. There is no wrong answer.
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    58 mins
  • Planet of Twilight Ch. 5-8

    Planet of Twilight Ch. 5-8
    Feb 12 2025
    Things are picking up, pilgrims. Han and Chewie's poolside vacation at a former concubine's condo is derailed when Leia doesn't show up as planned. Leia is once again forced to deal with two-bit aristocrats while high. Luke embraces his inner desert rat, leading him straight to his favorite kind of teacher: an obviously insane elderly Jedi. Artoo and Threepio are stolen by a two-bit Alderaanian version of Han Solo. Artoo refuses to let the loss of his voice or his wheelies stop him from committing aggravated assault.
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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Planet of Twilight Ch. 1-4

    Planet of Twilight Ch. 1-4
    Feb 5 2025
    We're back in the beautiful dappled light of a Barbara Hambly joint after many chapters in the wilderness! Leia and a couple of New Republic ships (along with her brother) have come to the world of Nom Nom Cheerio, a planet full of crystals, the Force, and possibly even Callista to meet with a politician desperate for the New Republic's help. He and some other colonists settled on Nom Nom Cheerio knowing full well older inhabitants were very, very not interested in joining the Republic or having any contact with the galaxy at all, and they think Leia should fix it. Now everyone on board the ships are dying. Leia finds herself stoned on a couch in Joshua Tree. Luke crashed his car while stalking his ex but is having fun doing desert rat stuff with some new desert friends. And Threepio is throwing a funeral at 2.5x speed.
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    1 hr and 10 mins
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