You don’t just marry your partner’s strengths—you marry their triggers too.

If you’ve found yourself walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off… or shutting down because you feel like you’re too much… you’re not alone.

But let’s be clear: tip-toeing isn’t emotional maturity—it’s disconnection in disguise.

In this episode, we unpack how to create real emotional safety in your marriage—so you can stop spiraling and start feeling heard, seen, and safe again.

🎧 What You’ll learn:

• How to bring things up without triggering defensiveness
• What to do if your're the one who reacts quickly
• The subtle shift that turns arguments into deeper understanding
• How your perception—not just the event—shapes your emotional response
• A real-life story from our marriage about navigating triggers in real-time

Whether you’re the one walking on eggshells or the one who reacts fast, this episode will give you tools to stop avoiding hard conversations—and start transforming them into connection.

🛠️ Resources Mentioned in the Episode

1) If triggers are hijacking your conversations, these three guides will help you de-escalate, repair, and reconnect fast—especially in those “walking on eggshells” moments.

→ De-Escalating Conflicts Guide: https://thecouplesexperience.com/conflictguide

2) If you’re working through a hard season in your marriage — the Rebuilding Us 30-Day Challenge was made for you.

For 30 days, you’ll rebuild trust, improve communication, and reconnect emotionally through simple, guided steps each day. Start healing and moving forward together:

→ Rebuilding Us: www.MeetTheFreemans.com/Rebuilding

3) Meet Us In Person — October 5th Couples Workshop

Want to go beyond podcasts and guides? Come experience a full-day, in-person marriage workshop with us in Chandler, AZ. You’ll do private, guided exercises, learn powerful tools, and walk out feeling closer than you’ve felt in a long time. Spots are limited and always sell out.

→ Reserve your seats now for the Couples Workshop: https://www.thecouplesworkshop.com

4) You can also view all of our other resources here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

Episode Time Stamps:

00:00 – Are you tiptoeing around your partner’s emotions?

01:10 – The problem with trying to “keep the peace” in marriage

02:24 – How we accidentally train each other to hide the truth

04:00 – When you’re scared of your partner’s reactions (or they’re scared of yours)

05:13 – What emotional eggshells actually sound like in real conversations

06:28 – The silent damage of unspoken resentment

07:42 – Why you both need to feel emotionally safe to be honest

09:03 – It’s not about walking on eggshells—it’s about building emotional maturity

10:21 – A secure marriage isn’t trigger-free—it’s repair-friendly

11:45 – How to shift your tone, so feedback doesn’t land as an attack

13:12 – Real example: giving feedback without provoking defensiveness

15:01 – “I want to be able to bring things up without it becoming a blow-up”

16:30 – The difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppression

18:18 – Why tiptoeing keeps your marriage stuck

19:20 – You both play a role in the dynamic—here’s how to change it

21:04 – Your tone might be more triggering than your words

22:47 – Tools for building a secure marriage where honesty is welcome

Just because something is common in marriage doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

We’ve heard countless couples ask:
“Is this just a hard season… or is something actually wrong?”
“Are we still okay, even though this feels hard?”

In this episode, we unpack those questions using anonymous submissions from real couples. You’ll hear what challenges are normal in long-term relationships—and what behavior or dynamics cross the line into unhealthy territory.

We cover emotional disconnection, mismatched intimacy, recurring conflict, parenting stress, and more. Plus, we share clear next steps for how to handle each one.

Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or just want clarity, this conversation will leave you feeling validated, informed, and ready to make meaningful change.

🎧 What You’ll Learn:

• What’s normal vs what’s not okay in conflict, intimacy, and parenting
• What’s normal vs what’s not okay in conflict, intimacy, and parenting
• Real examples from couples like you (and how we’d respond)
• One mindset shift that helps you stop tolerating what’s not working

🛠️ Resources Mentioned in the Episode

THIS SUMMER ONLY 3 MARRIAGE CHANGING GUIDES FOR THE PRICE OF TWO 🎉

→ Making Up & Moving Forward Guide
→ De-Escalating Conflicts Guide
→ Family Meeting Guide

Get the bundle here: https://thecouplesexperience.com/3guidesbundle

Surprise Bonus for Committed Couples
If this episode was a wake-up call or gut check, you're not alone. Many couples drift because they normalize disconnection, resentment, or the roommate phase… until it’s too late.

That’s why we created the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge to help you reignite emotional and physical intimacy in just a few intentional minutes a day.

This limited edition is only available a few times per year. And right now? We’ve got a surprise for you waiting here: https://thecouplesexperience.com/surprise

Episode Time Stamps:

01:00 – Is this a normal marriage challenge… or not okay?

01:38 – One key mindset shift: “If it hurts your partner and you won’t change, it’s an issue”

03:03 – Are you playing the same game—or using totally different marriage rulebooks?

05:29 – Conflict: What’s normal vs. what’s actually damaging

07:13 – Are you really repairing—or just resetting the same fight cycle?

08:43 – Is it okay to not talk for days after an argument?

11:27 – Want to shorten your conflict recovery time? Here’s how

13:05 – The truth about intimacy: What’s normal… and what hurts the relationship

16:00 – Intimacy shouldn’t only satisfy one person

18:48 – What to do if desire is low (emotionally, physically, or hormonally)

20:44 – The role of emotional and physical check-ins

22:57 – Are you in a “roommate rut”? You need this challenge

24:35 – The emotional load & mental load: What’s normal, what’s not okay

28:15 – “If you’re not playing by the same rules, no wonder it feels off”

32:11 – Parenting struggles: How common are they and what’s truly not okay

36:55 – You don’t just need consistency… you need adaptability

38:44 – Stop parenting by default—here’s what to do instead

42:30 – What happens when personal struggles or boundaries go unaddressed

44:15 – The boundary breakdown: “If you're not playing by the same rules, you're losing”

47:55 – Final takeaways + How to get resources for your marriage

Why is it so hard to change the way we show up in marriage, even when we know what we want to do differently? In this special episode, we sit down with John Assaraf, a renowned global leader in success and performance coaching, decades-long behavioral neuroscience researcher, and CEO of MyNeuroGym.com. He’s authored 4 bestselling books (including 2 New York Times bestsellers) and has been featured in 11 films.

Together, we explore the science behind why we get stuck in patterns like defensiveness, withdrawal, or reactivity and how to finally break free. Whether you’re trying to communicate better, stay calm in conflict, or just feel more connected, this episode reveals what’s really happening in your brain during those moments, and what it takes to rewire it.

John shares breakthrough insights from his book Innercise, along with practical tools to reshape your beliefs, upgrade your mindset, and master the habits that shape your relationship. Which is required if you want to get new results in your life and marriage. If you are ready to become the partner your relationship and your future needs, this episode is a must-listen.

👉 Grab John Assaraf’s book Innercise on Amazon

🎯 Get the Freemans’ relationship tools at MeetTheFreemans.com/links