In this episode Kelly pauses from the normal topics of preschool aged children and moves ahead in the timeline to college aged kids. Kelly helps parents understand how to best maintain a healthy relationship with these older children that now have independence, critical thinking and are the stages of choosing their own life.

“We don't actually want to undo all that independence and critical thinking and authenticity… we work so hard to get them to that stage.” - Kelly Shoup

Oh, boy: College. Parents spend years working to raise their child to be independent adults… and then it happens. College freshmen can be particularly attached to their new-found freedom, and today Kelly is helping you handle those moments when the newest adult in your family starts trying to make his independence known over that first Christmas break.

First, Kelly is reassuring you - the level of independence that your freshman is exhibiting is exactly right for his age and stage of life. He’s been living outside of the home for about four months, he’s been doing it well, and he’s trying to maintain his autonomy. Kelly has a few tips for dealing with this unique time in your child’s life:

• Release some control. He’s very protective of his new-found independence this year, and he will defend it.

• Congratulate him! He’s been adulting on his own, and he deserves to be recognized for his efforts and successes.

• Try this question: “How can I love you better?”

• Be willing to compromise on your expectations.

• He might not give you all the info you want - that’s okay.

• Offer support - he’s an adult, but he may still need your help.

Incorporate these tips into this first break with your adult child, and you’ll be laying the groundwork for a fruitful relationship with him for the rest of his adult life.

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