• Episode 38 - 'The colly-wobbled, jelly-bellied quaking of it all.’

  • Jun 13 2024
  • Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
  • Podcast

Episode 38 - 'The colly-wobbled, jelly-bellied quaking of it all.’

  • Summary

  • The poem quoted in the first half of the podcast is by Rainer Maria Rilke it is in Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God - the opening lines are 'You are not surprised at the force of the storm'.

    Here is list of Adrian's Lessons Learned with the quotes from his poems.

    Lessons Learnt from my Breakdown

    • Breathing

    Advice to Myself in Anxiety

    ‘Breathe slowly into this, Don’t run; stay,

    You are moored more firmly than you know.

    There is a constancy in you not your own.’

    • Talking

    Anxiety Diary

    ‘My Jungian therapist said, right at the start,

    that this breakdown was the best thing

    that had ever happened to me.

    I thought it was she that was insane,

    and I wanted to stop right there and then.

    I think now, she may have been right.’

    • Walking

    Rivelin Valley Vespers

    ‘By walking this same path, with a slow and monastic doggedness, I behold tonight’s road by low sunlight, all made meaningful and prelude by the merle blue devotion in my collie’s gaze.’

    • Writing

    Writing as Therapy

    ‘Now here I am,

    sitting in a round of delivery,

    speaking lines gleaned from

    a dark and no-mooned night,

    when only my pen knew its way.’

    • Seeing

    Afterword to a Traipsing

    ‘Laura Page has walked me around the streets

    camera slung, capturing Sheffield with f-stops

    and the right shutter-speeds for a city caught

    in the headlights of forces it is yet to grasp.’

    • Sharing

    Writing as Therapy

    ‘In the morning session

    I had spared no detail of my breakdown,

    all the colly-wobbled, jelly-bellied

    quaking of it all.’

    • Volunteering

    We are Bodies

    ‘We have turned sixty

    Volunteering, cooking the cafe

    Good soup, vegan and lentil

    Aching knees, aching nerves

    Bruised by the bruising lives we are

    Bludgeoned into, but brightened

    By the fellowship of fellow sufferers’

    • Trusting

    A Night Sea Journey

    ‘This is what the mythologists

    call a night sea journey.

    I am on a gurney bark sailing

    through the dark into

    an uncertain dawn.’

    • Loving

    Birdsong on Long Line

    ‘A sleek throat sounds against the early dusk

    a last verse to these long lines of walking,

    and my heart welcomes this reckless chorus,

    hopefulness beyond my walk’s ending.’

    Thanks to Andy Selman for his wonderful accompaniment to the Birdsong poem - the whole Album Made I Sheffield can be heard on Spotify here

    Made In Sheffield - Scott & Selman

    You can buy Adrian's books here www.adriangrscott.com

    If you want to Adrian and Andy perform with the band Dusk Over Rivelin on August 15th in Sheffield click here for tickets.

    https://www.wegottickets.com/event/623931

    Come along it will be a great evening.

    And finally Adrian would like to thank all who have listened and made the 9000 downloads and counting. Bless you all.

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