In this emotionally rich and spiritually grounded episode of FamilyLife Today, Dave and Ann Wilson dive into one of the most personal, transformative aspects of their marriage—how powerful, life-giving words can uplift and transform a spouse, especially within the context of Christian marriage.

The episode centers on themes from Ann Wilson’s book, specifically focusing on how women can speak life into their husbands even when all they want to do is criticize or “coach” them. Dave vulnerably shares the impact of Ann's affirmations over their 45 years of marriage—how both praise and constructive criticism shaped him into a better man, father, husband, and spiritual leader.

One pivotal story revisited multiple times is when Ann expressed disappointment in the difference between Dave’s passionate presence at church and his disengaged presence at home. While Dave’s initial reaction was defensive, he later realized through prayer that God was speaking through Ann, awakening him to the need for spiritual leadership at home.

They unpack the idea of the wife as a “helper suitable” (from Genesis 2:18), diving deep into the original Hebrew words “ezer” and “k’negdo.” These terms, often misunderstood as denoting subservience, are redefined as symbols of strength, equality, and divine partnership. Ann shares insights from theologians and Jewish scholars, painting a picture of a wife not as a passive supporter but a warrior who stands toe to toe with her husband, helping him become all that God created him to be.

The Wilsons emphasize the importance of affirming the good in each other rather than tearing each other down, especially when trying to correct faults. Critique alone rarely motivates change; but love-filled truth, built on a foundation of encouragement, does. They compare it to making deposits in an emotional bank account: affirmations are deposits, and critiques are withdrawals. Without a balance of positivity, correction only causes further distance.

The episode ends with a reflection on the spiritual reality of marriage. They stress that spouses must first be filled by God, or they will look to each other to meet needs only Christ can fill—resulting in disappointment and relational strain. Instead, if both partners are spiritually nourished, their love and support become an overflow rather than a demand.

This candid conversation offers practical insight, biblical wisdom, and personal vulnerability that challenges and encourages both husbands and wives to build marriages that reflect God’s design and grace.

Show Notes and Resources

• Purchase "How to Speak Life to Your Husband" on our website.
• Every donation to FamilyLife in May will be matched. Donate today on our website.

• Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
• See resources from our past podcasts.
• Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife's app!
• Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
• Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

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In this candid and emotionally powerful episode of FamilyLife Today, co-hosts Ann and Dave Wilson sit down to talk about their deeply personal journey of transformation within their marriage — a journey that led to the writing of their new book, How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to Do is Yell at Him.

What begins as a lighthearted moment with Dave calling Ann his favorite guest quickly turns into a raw exploration of how words — especially those said (or not said) in marriage — can either give life or slowly crush someone's spirit. Ann shares the heartbreaking realization that her constant critiques, though intended as help, came across as boos to Dave — a far cry from the encouragement he needed.

The episode dives into a pivotal moment when Dave, during an impromptu speaking engagement at a women’s group, publicly revealed that after their marriage, he no longer felt cheered on by Ann but instead heard “boo, boo, boo” when walking in the door. This blindsided Ann and led to a very tense ride home, followed by a powerful personal reckoning with God. Ann’s honest prayer and God’s gentle but firm response (“Yes”) started a spiritual and emotional transformation that impacted their marriage and parenting deeply.

They discuss how expectations, unmet hopes, and internal scripts shape how women view their husbands — and how the enemy (Satan) can fuel those disappointments with subtle whispers that deepen discontent. Brain science also comes into play, as Ann notes that 85% of our thoughts are negative and 95% are repetitive, illustrating how easily women can spiral into patterns of criticism.

Throughout the episode, the Wilsons reflect on Scripture (especially Proverbs 18:21 and Matthew 7:3-5), the role of pride, and how important it is to take thoughts captive. They talk about how Ann began intentionally looking for and vocalizing the good in Dave. It started with thanking him for simple things — like working hard — and grew into genuine, spirit-building encouragement that transformed not just their marriage but their legacy.

They emphasize that this message is not for abusive relationships, but for average, well-meaning marriages where miscommunication and unmet expectations erode intimacy. By inviting God into her mindset, Ann became a woman who spoke life, not just to her husband but to everyone around her. Dave affirms how this change brought vibrancy back into their home — and calls on women to reflect on their own “way of being” toward their husbands.

The episode ends with a passionate call to action: support the FamilyLife Today ministry so more marriages can be transformed through God's truth and grace.

Show Notes and Resources

• Purchase "How to Speak Life to Your Husband" on our website.
• Every donation to FamilyLife in May will be matched. Donate today on our website.

• Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
• See resources from our past podcasts.
• Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife's app!
• Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
• Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

In this episode of Family Life Blended, Ron Deal and Gayla Grace explore the myths surrounding stepfamilies and the myths that often cause harm to blended family dynamics. The conversation is framed around common misconceptions, historical folklore, and personal experiences with step-parenting. They begin by discussing how negative stereotypes have been perpetuated, particularly the myth that all stepmothers are wicked and all stepfathers abusive. This stereotype has roots in fairy tales, notably the Brother's Grimm stories, where stepmothers were often depicted as evil characters. The hosts note that while there is a small grain of truth to some of these stories (as abusive step-parents exist), they don’t represent the reality for most stepparents, who are often loving, hardworking, and deeply committed to their stepchildren. They stress that stepping into a parental role in a blended family requires time and patience, and stepparents should avoid rushing or forcing relationships to develop.

Another myth discussed is the idea that stepparents are instantly accepted and integrated into the family. While some young children may quickly bond with a stepparent, the process of blending families typically takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. The hosts explain that trying to assume an immediate parental role, especially in cases where stepchildren have strong loyalties to their biological parents, can be detrimental. They caution against the idea of erasing or replacing the biological parent in the child’s life.

Ron and Gala also delve into the myth that calling stepchildren "my children" will create a mutual, instant bond. While it’s important to express care and make the child feel included, they emphasize the need for communication and co-creation between stepparent and child about their relationship. They also tackle the belief that stepparents should love their stepchildren the same as their biological children. The reality is that the connection may not be as strong initially, but that doesn’t mean it can’t grow over time. The key is to be equitable in how stepparents treat both biological and stepchildren, with fairness being the priority.

Through these discussions, the episode provides valuable insights and practical advice for families navigating the complexities of blended family life. The hosts encourage listeners to embrace the process of building relationships gradually, be patient, and avoid the harmful myths that can cause unrealistic expectations.

Show Notes and Resources

• Purchase "The Mindful Marriage" on our website .
• Sign up for the Summit on Stepfamily Leadership Conference
• Learn more about the "Blended and Blessed" conference.
• Get resources for your blended family online.
• Every donation to FamilyLife in May will be matched. Donate today on our website.

• Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
• See resources from our past podcasts.
• Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife's app!
• Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
• Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy