What happens when those who protect our communities struggle to safeguard their own marriages? Aaron Groves, retired Jasper County deputy and director of Impact Iowa's Heroes, returns to the Shared Voices podcast to tackle the unique challenges facing first responder marriages and offer practical paths to restoration.

"Most people go into a first responder marriage assuming it's going to be like any other normal marriage, and that couldn't be further from the truth," Groves shares from personal experience. The conversation dives deep into how the professional requirement to suppress emotions during crisis situations creates unintended consequences at home. "You really can't select which emotions you shut down and which ones you turn back on," he explains, revealing how this impacts not just processing trauma, but experiencing joy and love with family.

The heart of many marital struggles lies in communication breakdowns and unresolved conflict. Groves details how understanding different conflict styles—his wife processes verbally while he tends toward avoidance—transformed their relationship. "Until you close that loop of conflict, you won't be able to connect with each other emotionally, physically, or spiritually," he notes, offering insight into how couples can break destructive patterns and build healthier communication.

Perhaps most powerful is the discussion around vulnerability. Many first responders, particularly men, view asking for help as a weakness rather than a strength. Daniel challenges this mindset: "The uncomfortableness of not doing stuff like this is a heck of a lot worse... let that uncomfortableness be to something that leads to life and not to divorce." Through Impact Iowa's Heroes marriage events, couples find not just tools but community with others who understand their unique lifestyle challenges.

Whether your marriage is in crisis or you simply want to strengthen your connection, this conversation offers hope and practical steps forward. Register for upcoming Impact Iowa's Heroes marriage events at impactiowasheroes.org and discover how intentional investment in your relationship can transform "just roommates" into genuine partners for life.

Register for the one-day marriage event on Saturday, June 28th, with special guests Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn. Register at https://subsplash.com/theway-ia/lb/ev/+kv7vz4h

Register for the powerful 2025 Marriage Getaway at https://givebutter.com/h1IHcC

Fri, Nov 14 5:00 PM – Sat, Nov 15 4:00 PM CST

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

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