Sexual desire differences are, unfortunately, very common. In fact, it's one of the top reasons why couples seek sex therapy or any kind of help in their marriage.

It's really painful to be in a relationship where your spouse doesn't desire you the same way you desire them. And while it's painful for the spouse with the higher libido or higher desire, it's also just as painful (for different reasons) for the person with a lower desire/lower libido.

The good news is that there are actually tools and solutions to help couples get on the same page sexually, and we'll discuss some of these in this episode.

I was interviewed by my friend Taylor Chambers, a marriage and family therapist. Since we talk about these things often on this platform, we've included this interview on the Get Your Marriage On Podcast.

In this episode, we cover the following:

• I share some of my personal examples from my own marriage
• Why traditional sex therapy doesn't quite work.
• The role of pleasure
• Integrity culture versus purity culture

If you and your spouse have differences in sexual desire that's causing some problems in your marriage, you're in luck because next week I'm going live doing a deep dive discussion on this very topic.

What: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives without Therapy or Pressure, Live Masterclass

When: November 14, 6 pm Pacific / 9pm Eastern

Register Here

More Resources:

Intimately Us App

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

There's a lot of stress in parenthood (and regular life) that presses on the couple's relationship, which Emily and I know firsthand as parents to 6 children. And I know that maintaining intimacy and being lovers while also being parents and good at our jobs and other responsibilities is a challenge many of us face, which is why I'm so interested in this topic today.

And I had so much fun recording this episode with my guest, Sofia Ashley. She's a hoot! Sofia has been a sex coach for 10 years and has a program called "Sex After Kids" and she's the founder of The Happy Vagina Project.

In this episode we discuss how to have a party your libido would like to show up to and the importance of nervous system regulation, effective communication, and emotional support (over depending on outside things like toys or lingerie). You'll get to hear her strategies for transitioning from being a busy mom to a hot wife. And be sure to stay to the end to hear her black belt sex tip!

Resources:

Intimately Us App

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Episode Highlights

2:08: Bedroom fail

5:12: Novelty falls flat if there's not deeper connection

6:09: How our nervous system plays in

9:28: When you just feel "touched out"

15:33: Physiological response and the need for relaxation

18:20: Transitioning from super-busy mode, to "I want to have sex mode"

22:41: Creating a party your libido wants to come to

23:50: Pre-launch check list

31:46: Nervous sytem reset exercises

35:49: How to know if you're disregulated

39:45: Black belt sext tip!

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

The holidays are coming up, and this is often a stressful time for a lot of couples.

The stress and busyness can often lead couples to fall into dry spells in their sex life. And Emily and I are not immune to those dry spells either. So whether you're in a dry spell or looking to avoid one, this episode is for you! We're going to cover practical ways to keep your marriage and sex life going strong through all the seasons of life.

Resources:

Intimately Us App

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Episode highlights:

4:37: Seeing the Patterns in Your Relationship

6:13: Calm the heck down

7:18: Notice emotions and how they present in your body

7:40: The measure of your marriage isn't how you handle yourself when things are going well, but when life is hard

9:00: Separate the act of sex from the meanings attached to it.

11:04: When we look to our spouse, as a reason behind the dry spell, it opens you up to a potential of self-deception

12:25: Routine kills passion

14:34: Need both love and desire

17:37: Offer good sex

19:07: Questions to ask yourself and thoughts to consider

21:55: "But my spouse doesn't want to change"