
Is Your Marriage a Contract or a Covenant?
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About this listen
Is your marriage built to last—or to be left when it no longer meets your expectations?
This week on A Purpose Driven Marriage, we’re unpacking a foundational question:
👉 Are you living out your marriage as a contract… or a covenant?
In a culture that glorifies self-fulfillment and exits at the first sign of discomfort, we’re diving into the difference between the world’s view of marriage and God’s design. Through candid conversation, biblical truth, coaching insights, and real-life reflection, Duane and Nadine walk you through:
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What it means to have a contractual mindset vs. a covenantal mindset
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How contract-thinking leads to insecurity, conditional love, and emotional distance
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What the Bible teaches about covenant love (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5, Malachi 2:14)
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Why covenant love is about giving, not receiving
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How even secular studies—including those from Dr. John Gottman—support the benefits of covenant-style commitment
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How your view of marriage shapes your communication, intimacy, and long-term resilience
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Why covenant marriages don’t just bless the couple—they shape generations
🔑 Key Takeaways
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Contract marriages say: “If you do this, I’ll do that.”
Covenant marriages say: “Even if you don’t, I’m still here.” -
God's model for marriage is sacrificial, not transactional.
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The covenant mindset provides security, purpose, and spiritual alignment.
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You can shift from self-protection to selfless love—and your marriage will thrive for it.
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0:00 – Intro: Marriage by God’s Design
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2:45 – Culture’s Contractual View of Marriage
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6:15 – “I’ll stay as long as I’m happy” – The Danger of Conditions
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9:00 – How a contract mindset creates emotional insecurity
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12:40 – What is a covenant marriage, really?
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14:00 – God’s blueprint: Ephesians 5 & sacrificial love
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17:30 – When one spouse is struggling—what covenant commitment looks like
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20:50 – Even if you’re not a Christian, covenant principles still apply
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21:45 – Research: Commitment = Relationship Success (Gottman, UVA, JFP)
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24:00 – “Interested” vs. “Committed” mindsets
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30:00 – Choosing love rooted in God, not performance
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32:00 – A marriage that builds legacy for generations
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34:00 – Listener challenge + closing encouragement
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